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Do you feel envious and compare yourself to others?

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The online ordering page for McDonalds always tickled me with this, the very first thing in the list is a section called Most Popular. Why would I care if lots of people like nuggets, I know I want a burger and chips.
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That dynamic perplexes me constantly to this very day. Particularly being used online as a marketing category. Why not simply call it "lemmings" ? :oops:
 
Comparing oneself to others is like comparing apples to oranges, comapring day to night, or peaches to dogs.

Be careful about comparing oneself to others - it's all too easy to fall into those wasteful, troublesome traps!
 
Maybe it depends on how we're socialised to think. A lot of Aspies get lectured for "not having enough empathy", so some of us have forced ourselves to think about everyone else more than ourselves, which then comes with bad points too because it makes us too aware of others and what they're doing. I don't know, it's just a thought. Sometimes the pendulum can swing the other way a bit too far. This may be avoided if lack of empathy wasn't associated with autism so much and just put any empathy we do lack as part of the human condition, as everyone lacks empathy to some degree. Like when some NTs I've heard believe that teachers have an easy job, just because they're not teachers themselves they can't imagine how hard it is to be a teacher. But if an autistic said the same thing we'd be "lacking imagination" and "unable to put ourselves in other people's shoes". Complete bullcrap.
 
Misty Avich said:
Maybe it depends on how we're socialised to think. A lot of Aspies get lectured for "not having enough empathy", so some of us have forced ourselves to think about everyone else more than ourselves, which then comes with bad points too because it makes us too aware of others and what they're doing. I don't know, it's just a thought. Sometimes the pendulum can swing the other way a bit too far. This may be avoided if lack of empathy wasn't associated with autism so much and just put any empathy we do lack as part of the human condition, as everyone lacks empathy to some degree. Like when some NTs I've heard believe that teachers have an easy job, just because they're not teachers themselves they can't imagine how hard it is to be a teacher. But if an autistic said the same thing we'd be "lacking imagination" and "unable to put ourselves in other people's shoes". Complete bullcrap.
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Fully agreed. Everyone lacks empathy to a degree, also mostly what everyone means when autistic people lack empathy is the lack of cognitive empathy. Like, yeah i might not notice my friend who is upset but is trying to hide it with smiles. But if i know you are facing difficulties and being treated unfairly? I feel an immense sadness and even anger on behalf of my loved ones. And i try to help with every way i can.
 
AprilR said:
Fully agreed. Everyone lacks empathy to a degree, also mostly what everyone means when autistic people lack empathy is the lack of cognitive empathy. Like, yeah i might not notice my friend who is upset but is trying to hide it with smiles. But if i know you are facing difficulties and being treated unfairly? I feel an immense sadness and even anger on behalf of my loved ones. And i try to help with every way i can.
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Yes, and it's inaccurate when autistic people believe that it's only autistic people who NTs don't understand but can understand everyone else. I don't believe that for one second. Empathy isn't black or white, it's one of the most complex phenomenons of human psychology with grey areas. In fact I do hate that word.
 
I dont experience non understand envy well.

Lately I have been trying to understand if certain behavours of some people towards me can be due to envy. Its sad to see how well it explains many of my youth problems.

Its like the better I am towards/in front of envy people the more they hate me. Like they need some prof that I am misserable so they can feel better in their own darkness.

I try to avoid envy people when I notice them. They are dangerous, waiting their chance to secretly ruin others people life and happiness.
 
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Yes, a little. But only of a few special occupations.

;)
 
I'm not saying NT = no problems. I hate when people assume that's what I think when I say I wish I were NT. But having problems AS WELL AS poor emotional regulation, RSD, high anxiety levels, high stress levels, and other challenges like that, can make problems even bigger, even the smallest of problems.

Also I do feel envy but that doesn't mean I want to make others unhappy. I can use my empathetic side to fight off the jealousy and appear happy for them and even supportive. Like I'm still jealous of my sister for having a baby, but I've enjoyably gone out and bought goodies for the new baby, and Christmas presents at Christmas, and have had plenty of cuddles with the baby. I love the baby, she's my niece, and I love my sister. I wouldn't want to see either of them unhappy, even though I still sometimes feel a little down due to my Tokophobia.
 
I have never compared myself to others or felt envious. Been on strike for 6 months, first son born in middle of this
Got myself on negotiating committee for next contract. Including plant closing agreement. lost job for two years upgraded education while seeking employment. My attitude was always put a plan together work the plan. Not blame others, just blamed it on bad luck.
 
FayetheAspie said:
I don't feel jealous of being neurotypical. I just wish more neurotypicals would give people with ASD a chance to show them how well we can do a job if given the opportunity. There are areas like pattern recognition that we tend to excel at moreso than the average neurotypical but most everything is based on social skills which we tend to come up short in. Our general level of ability seems to be judged frequently by our social skills and social networking capacity (or lack thereof) but in reality they are not directly proportional.
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I’m glad you mentioned about having a social network and how difficult having one is as I myself don’t have one. That was actually the one thing my former University failed me on was to get me into networking and how to interact with recruiters and hiring managers to make you more marketable but of course anyone I explored to ask about career prospects and going starting on my career path like my advisor, my career counselor or my professor they don’t lift a finger and even more so since they all know that I’m autistic. “Oh you just need to try harder” or “it is what it is” is all I get from people who I expect to help me succeed educationally and professionally.
Just like grade school when I felt excluded frequently from activities and social groups and I never had that many people around me then.

So yeah it’s the same old song and dance it seems.
 
FayetheAspie said:
I don't feel jealous of being neurotypical. I just wish more neurotypicals would give people with ASD a chance to show them how well we can do a job if given the opportunity. There are areas like pattern recognition that we tend to excel at moreso than the average neurotypical but most everything is based on social skills which we tend to come up short in. Our general level of ability seems to be judged frequently by our social skills and social networking capacity (or lack thereof) but in reality they are not directly proportional.
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What sort of pattern recognition are we good at? (Just a question, not doubting anything).

I have good social pattern recognition but I've just read up on it and apparently we're not meant to be good at social pattern recognition.
 
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Right, well my pattern recognition seems to be very high socially, where I can use recognition of body language, intentions, chemistry, personas, behaviours, and social imagination, to formulate patterns. But I'm crap at working out patterns that involve machinery, computers, numbers or engineering.

I've always had the social pattern recognition skill. Maybe because I was so lonely during high school that I had to figure everything out by myself, so now I've become somewhat of an expert on social behaviours in others. So annoying that I find it so easy to understand the NT mind yet I cannot be them.
 
Based on research and anecdotal evidence, people with Asperger's Syndrome (often referred to as "Aspies") may have a natural aptitude for code breaking due to their strong attention to detail, ability to focus intensely on patterns, and logical thinking, which are key skills needed for cryptanalysis; a famous example being Alan Turing, who is widely believed to have been on the autism spectrum and played a crucial role in cracking the Enigma code during World War II. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Key points about Aspies and code breaking: [1, 3, 4]

• Detail-oriented focus: Aspies often have a heightened ability to notice small details and patterns, which is crucial for identifying subtle irregularities in encrypted messages. [1, 3, 4]
• Logical reasoning: Their strong logical thinking skills can help them analyze complex codes and identify the underlying rules or algorithms used to encrypt data. [1, 2, 3]
• Persistence and focus: Aspies can dedicate significant time and concentration to solving a problem, making them well-suited for the often laborious process of code breaking. [1, 2, 3]

Important considerations: [1, 2, 3]

• Individual variation: Not all people with Asperger's will excel at code breaking, as individual abilities and interests vary widely.
• Social challenges: While strong in technical skills, Aspies might face social challenges when collaborating with others in a code breaking team. [1, 2, 3]


Generative AI is experimental.

[1] https://www.codemonkey.com/blog/3-reasons-autistic-children-excel-at-computer-programming/[2] https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autism-enigma-amazingly-saved-lives/[3] http://www.nyautismcommunity.org/bl...s-about-alan-turing-and-the-imitation-game[4] Positives of Asperger’s: 7 Benefits
 
I have to say, i am not jealous of super rich people or people with expensive cars etc. I am jealous of other people's capabilities and energy.

For example, one of my aunts recently said how small my house is and that she would have no problem cleaning it under 2 hours. But for me, it is really exhausting to do house cleaning and it takes all day thanks to my executive dysfunction and lack of practical intelligence. Or maybe it is the comorbid of depression making my energy levels low, i dont know
 
me and lots of people wonder why autism hasn't been bred out of the gene pool through natural selection, yeah over the years and still at times, i feel i let myself and my folks down, because my parents, my mom especially, had high expectations for me in regards to education, both of my parents have their masters degrees, and they naturally or wanted me to graduate college as well, i never did, my brother, my only sibling, is the only one who has a college degree, bachelors, however, he has not worked in the field he got his degree in, studio arts.

But my 2 first cousins, the daughters of my moms sister, they never graduated college either.

But yeah, i do worry about my future a lot if i will be able to support myself independently when my folks are gone.
 
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