Do You Feel Like An Alien?

[GoofKing]

I still feel like an alien :/

 

[Tarragon]

I decided I was "alien" early on, and as time goes on, my opinion has not been questioned! Mind you, the more I have learnt about human society, the less bothered about it I become. My ultimate job would be lighthouse keeper - except there are usually two keepers on call at any one time. That's too crowded for me!!

 

[supernova]

The OP and Garnetflower have expressed exactly how I've felt all my life. It's such a relief to have discovered that I'm not alone.

 

[tlc]

Exactly. I have ALWAYS felt that way, except as others said, that I was the one in the bubble unable to interact with the normal world and watching it go by. But the difference is when I was younger I liked myself but struggled so hard to fit in it made me depressed sometimes. Nowadays I am more comfortable with who I am and for the most part don't give a damn.

I love nature but can't stand pets. The noise, smells, chaos.... it's just too much.

And yes I agree about ADHD. 90+% of it is the H. And can't say for everyone, but at least the ones I've seen, they get whatever they want all the time no matter how they behave, so where's the incentive to be good?

 

[Marvin]

Not alien per se but definitely something different. Hence my namesake. It always baffled me why NTs spent so much time and energy on the superficial interactions. Almost as though efficacy and efficiency are inversely proportional. While my calculated no BS approach is deemed cold/harsh/arrogant/rude... you get the idea.

That said I've gathered enough data on social interactions to mimic NTs enough to slide under the radar. The more observant would notice my remarks aren't quite up to date or exactly precise given the situation. My cause and effect style interaction relies on pre existing information so needs constant updating and therefore suffers lag. It's a double edged sword though. Requiring constant upkeep while its use drains a very limited mental/emotional battery.

In a work setting though because I've cut through the BS after incorporating ALL available data my solution to a given problem is usually THE final solution. The more egotistical bosses/coworkers would argue every step. You can imagine the anguish/facepalm/murderous tendencies I refrained.

I totally agree with the affinity with animals. But I figure it's because they are genuine. Their immediate actions don't contradict a different underlying motive. I am in no way disillusioned that a large part of their affection is that I am the bearer of food (for all you cat owners) but that enforces my point.

There was a post on TED that suggested the current human race may in fact be made up of different species, and that asperger's, synesthesia, and other psychological variants are the effects of evolution in response to our current and past environments. While I can't comment on the accuracy of such a hypothesis it did give me a sense of hope. The problem as it were doesn't lie in my being defective. I (we) am the human upgrade. True or not it's a wonderful POV.

Sorry for the long post. Seems I'm a hypocrite

 

[Licorice]

I feel like an alien, but people with Asperger's or other disorders are equally as alien to me because I don't share many common traits or attitudes. I've never really met anyone "like me," with the exception of one single person who took over 15 years to find.

 

[gouldgrl]

I tried to explain this feeling to my very normal boyfriend last night. He didn't get it.

Do you tend to feel like you are outside of the human species? As if you do not quite understand how they communicate, how they chitter-chatter and laugh constantly and have no hesitancy about going out and doing menial things?
It's kind of a feeling like everyone is in a bubble and you're on the outside of it, looking in at them, observing, not quite able to fit into humanity.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember.
It's rather isolating.

Is this an Aspergers/Autistic type of thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Yes--but in my case I actually am an alien.

 

[Ylva]

Is it possible that we, or some of us, lack the "bonding" brain chemical?

 

[GallacticGorilla]

I dont like alot of people. I dont let people in easily, and i find solitude disturbingly comfortable. Sometimes friendship feels like a burden to me.

That said, the people I do let in get the best of me, and I very often, for no reason will bend over backwards for them, just to see them smile.

 

[Licorice]

Is it possible that we, or some of us, lack the "bonding" brain chemical?

It may be...

I have it, but I think there's more to feeling accepted than the bonding chemical. Someone like me who can't do normal bonding rituals isn't going to feel accepted regardless.

 

[poetofthemist94]

Maybe were normal and everyone else are just robitic clones created and programmed by a more advanced austistic species In order to test us and how we cope

 

[Ylva]

Well, that does sound like a pragmatic outlook.

 

[Chopstick]

I do not feel comfortable being in a herd, but I wouldn’t ascribe this to alien behavior, rather I’m a bit contrarian by nature. I always stand a little to the side so that when the herd stampedes I’m better able to actually see what’s up ahead.

 

[Jordan]

I feel like an alien every other day. Some days are good, and some days are bad. I think it's social isolation that makes us aspies feel isolated from a group. They may say something hurtful that could mean it could spark us into a meltdown.

Since I have AS myself, it's really hard to adjust to a social setting such as a college. And more often than not I find myself alienated from the world because people see me different from others. I ain't the sort of person that would shout out any old garbage to a tutor, but if something was said in that social situation and I felt threatened by it, then it'd normally lead into me over-thinking and then my behavior seen as unusual to an NT. Thus sparking a confusion to the NT and thus creating a series of misunderstandings that is confusing to an aspie.

Yes, I do try to socialize with people in a social setting, but more often than not, for me it causes anxiety and confusion because people never get the gist of what I am saying. They'd normally say "spit it out" or "what you waiting for". This causes me to then go back into social isolation because I feel the need to breakaway from that situation.

So in a sense, it's a coping mechanism that people need to understand more. I fully understand the affects of what my AS can cause other people, and it's just trying to manage what I can then do to distract myself from that situation. From either reading a book, or playing a game.

 

[Critterlover]

I feel like an alien every other day. Some days are good, and some days are bad. I think it's social isolation that makes us aspies feel isolated from a group. They may say something hurtful that could mean it could spark us into a meltdown.

Since I have AS myself, it's really hard to adjust to a social setting such as a college. And more often than not I find myself alienated from the world because people see me different from others. I ain't the sort of person that would shout out any old garbage to a tutor, but if something was said in that social situation and I felt threatened by it, then it'd normally lead into me over-thinking and then my behavior seen as unusual to an NT. Thus sparking a confusion to the NT and thus creating a series of misunderstandings that is confusing to an aspie.

Yes, I do try to socialize with people in a social setting, but more often than not, for me it causes anxiety and confusion because people never get the gist of what I am saying. They'd normally say "spit it out" or "what you waiting for". This causes me to then go back into social isolation because I feel the need to breakaway from that situation.

So in a sense, it's a coping mechanism that people need to understand more. I fully understand the affects of what my AS can cause other people, and it's just trying to manage what I can then do to distract myself from that situation. From either reading a book, or playing a game.

I

 

[Critterlover]

I do feel "alienated" from everyone else (don't actually see myself literally as an alien, in other words)
I have read so many posts on this thread that have hit the nail right on the head, for me. I have never been able to engage in small talk and can't understand how people chat and laugh together about such trivial and uninteresting things. I just feel like I'm on the outside, watching....but totally incapable of joining in. I find social situations extremely exhausting and can't wait to get away from them. Somebody mentioned it's like wearing an uncomfortable and ill fitting suit. Exactly!
I do find a lot of people to be artificial, but maybe they're just being tactful because that is what is socially acceptable? I tend to be very blunt and give my honest opinion about things. A lot of times I have to bite my tongue and not say what I truly think because I know it isn't the "norm" to be so honest and I don't want to be judged.
I really am happiest when I'm just with my own family (who think I'm odd but love me just the way I am) or with my animals, particularly my dogs whom I connect with on a very deep level.

 

[aspiemike]

I just read this whole thread nodding and going EXACTLY!! the whole time. Small talk sucks. I once told a co-worker that I hate small talk, I think it is pointless, and she looked at me so strangely. Could I be an alien, never thought alien, but different, yep. Inferior? Sometimes. Evolved, most of the time Lately more inferior to be honest... I observe these people flowing along socially, so easily and without trouble, and it does seem like I'm watching a movie in a different language, because I can't seem to do it like they can, and now I know why.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I tried to explain this feeling to my very normal boyfriend last night. He didn't get it.

Do you tend to feel like you are outside of the human species? As if you do not quite understand how they communicate, how they chitter-chatter and laugh constantly and have no hesitancy about going out and doing menial things?
It's kind of a feeling like everyone is in a bubble and you're on the outside of it, looking in at them, observing, not quite able to fit into humanity.

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember.
It's rather isolating.

Is this an Aspergers/Autistic type of thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Yeah I understand. Except it's more like they were the aliens, not me.

 

[Tarragon]

Yeah I understand. Except it's more like they were the aliens, not me.

Beep beep!

 

[rollerskate]

I kind of have this ongoing theory about autism, at least Aspergers, where those that have it are simply missing the base programming and conditioning other people have. It's because of comments like "it's not normal to them to be honest so I don't feel like I can be myself" and then observing that as you call them NTs seem to feel the most at ease when in this state that got me started on this, as well as some personal experiences including but not limited to having been raised in a high control high brainwashing cult as a third gen but still never really getting conditioned so that I shocked everyone by leaving in my early teens. There's no reason why I should have left that early with all the conditioning and control tactics I went through from birth. Most born in to that group don't leave until their early twenties if they ever leave at all, and most of those that do leave come back thanks to their programming. So I'm quite the oddity there. And now I notice that on the outside world, a lot of the same stuff goes on within society, and I once again seem to be the oddball out. So... It makes me wonder... Are those of us that aren't conditioned really guilty of having a disorder, or are we some kind of evolutionary response to conditioning, etc. Kind of like I question if a schizophrenic is really crazy since they can say some really deep and profound things. Then there's the whole hunter/gatherer vs farmer theory with ADHD. Maybe we too are just designed for a different purpose.

Just some random ideas I bat around from time to time.