Do you find shaking hands "icky"?

[Dryope]

Ever since I was little, I found touching other people's skin "icky" -- like I could feel a residue of their energy sinking into my own skin after we touched. I always immediately wanted to wash my hand and I hated having to touch them at all.

It's gotten better as I've gotten older...but it's still there. It has absolutely nothing to do with the reality of their skin: they are not, in fact, icky people in any way. I know this.

It also happens when my husband kisses me or touches me sometimes, when I'm not expecting it. I suspect this is my brain misinterpreting touch in the absence of oxytocin or some other such touchy-feely hormone. I get the hormone, but it takes a little longer for me. When I feel close to someone, in the moment, the icky feeling isn't there.

Anyway, does this seem familiar to anyone else? I always wondered what was going on here. I know it's irrational, but so is feeling a burning sensation from clothing tags (which I suspect is something similar).

 

[Aspieistj]

I agree totally that casual touch is extremely annoying and can, indeed spread disease. However, I do have a normal libido and two kids! Trashed the husband after 11 years and 2 kids, though. Even sex couldn't make him someone I wanted to be with. Ickky!!!!!

 

[Tom]

I have heard touch sensitivity is very common in Aspies/Autistics.

I don't have an aversion to handshakes as long as they are even remotely firm. But I really have a negative reaction to the ones that hold their hand all limp and squishy. I have experienced it in multicultural settings so am not sure if its an individual thing or sometimes cultural.

Not much else bothers me except a certain type of fabric that catches at my skin, especially rough spots. Something about that is very unpleasant to me.

 

[SingaSong]

I can manage to shake hands with about three people at any one time, generally expected at once point in our church service, but have to force myself to look the person in the face.

 

[Beverly]

Handshakes don't bother me, they did as a kid before I figured out that I can sense peoples aura or energy. I've learned to identify the aura of people quickly so, I'm prepared for the ones that are going to feel "prickly," for lack of a better word.

People that look or smell unwashed bother me, but that's just my mysophobia showing and, I know I'm not going to catch something just by shaking hands, if I was soon after the unpleasant encounter.

 

[Warmheart]

 

[flowers]

I hate handshakes so much. Touch of any kind really. I recently realized it triggers a "Flight or Fight" response in me.

Unfortunately at my job, visitors will often want to shake hands (reception job). I will do it once maybe twice out of politeness. Luckily most people only shake hands the first time they meet you, but some weirdos insist on doing it every time they see me.

They usually react (over-react in my opinion) badly when told "I don't like to be touched/don't like people touching me/no thank you" and will keep shoving their hands in my face space as if that will change my mind.

Once a visitor was so insistent that I had a tiny breakdown and may or may not have yelled "NO" which finally stopped him. He never comes in the front anymore and has avoided me ever since.

 

[Sylar]

That depends, are they sticky?

 

[clg114]

I do not worry about shaking hands with someone, but I do not worry about germs either. The only time that I do not shake hands is when I'm working and then it's only because my hands are likely to be dirty.

I agree with Tom about firm handshakes. If someone's hands are limp or very soft, it bothers me. I do not know why that should bother me, but it does.

 

[watersprite]

As long as I give them a quite firm handshake, because then it feels like: I am leaving their energy behind on their hand. Agree that sticky, clammy, or limp hands are bleh.
I actually enjoy holding hands with nice hands, such as my kiddos, for a brief time. Not too long though.

 

[Destination Unknown]

I did have something like that a few years ago. When I would shake someones hand I would have a kind of burning aching sensation left over, and I couldn't wait to go wash my hands to make it go away. I don't believe I have that anymore, but thinking about it is making me want to go wash my hands.

 

[clg114]

As long as I give them a quite firm handshake, because then it feels like: I am leaving their energy behind on their hand. Agree that sticky, clammy, or limp hands are bleh.
I actually enjoy holding hands with nice hands, such as my kiddos, for a brief time. Not too long though.

When my wife and I are walking, we hold hands. The kids think it's weird and cute, but what do they know?

 

[watersprite]

When my wife and I are walking, we hold hands. The kids think it's weird and cute, but what do they know?

Excellent is what it is.

 

[Dryope]

I've learned to identify the aura of people quickly so, I'm prepared for the ones that are going to feel "prickly," for lack of a better word.

Yes, that's the kind of thing I mean. It's like an aura. Though, being sciency, I'm on the fence on auras. I shouldn't be, though -- this describes what I do unconsciously.

As long as I give them a quite firm handshake, because then it feels like: I am leaving their energy behind on their hand.

Good advice. I guess it's like a loud sound that someone else makes scares you, but if you make the sound, it doesn't. Best to be firm and repel that energy.

This feeling is fading as I get older (I'm in my late 30s) just like how the feeling of tags itching me has faded a bit as I've grown up. So I think it's a sensory processing deal.

 

[AsheSkyler]

People with a firm handshake feel like they're trying to bruise me and those with a weak handshake feel slimy or dead. The way my mind works, I get a flash of a mental image of the innards of the hand and a likelihood of where all that hand has been. I don't like seeing them pick their teeth or handle other things. And the more forceful and pushy a person is to shake hands, the more they remind me of other people who couldn't keep their hands to themselves, which in turn makes me pretty suspicious of them and our relationship just kinda goes downhill from there. Handshakes are a good way to end a friendship and get us off on the wrong foot.

 

[Harrison]

Never had any problems shaking hands although I do dislike limp handshakes.

 

[Good boy]

Ow yes, it feels so unnatural, even though I'm very close with that person, even with my own parents

 

[velociraptor]

Ever since I was little, I found touching other people's skin "icky" -- like I could feel a residue of their energy sinking into my own skin after we touched. I always immediately wanted to wash my hand and I hated having to touch them at all.

I'm a longtime AA member and everyone there either shakes hands or hugs. I have had to learn to tolerate it, but I find it all to be very uncivilized, especially with Flu, Covid, and RSV out there in the winter months. I mostly attend online now.

 

[tlc]

There’s a range.

For anyone in the general public, or coworkers, I find it icky, and I’ll be sanitizing my hands as soon as our interaction is done.

For close people like my folks, not icky, but we don’t really shake hands either.

For an intimate partner, almost anything goes. But I still would expect them to wash the outside world off their hands after coming into my house, the same as I do for myself.