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Do you have a difficulty with saying no?

N-n-n-n-n..oh, I just can't say it.

All kidding aside, yeah, I do have trouble saying no. I feel like I need to make everybody happy, so I'll say yes even when I really don't want to do something. I'm also afraid that me saying no will make the other person sad, which will in turn make me sad. I think that may be another Aspie trait; we show the strangest emotions at the strangest times.
 
If someone really wants me to do something and I don't want to, I can say no, and I usually do, but I don't like it. I always feel bad, like I'm disappointing them, and I hate to disappoint anyone.
 
Yes! But over the years, working on this issue, I am learning to either say no or make some sort of compromise. Like if my boss asks me if I can work on a day off, I will say yes, but can only work from such and such hour to such and such hour. Or if a family member asks me to do something, I try to tell them what I feel able to do. But usually do what they want! Somethimes, tho', I'll say yes, but then back out of it at the last minute. Sometimes they get mad, sometimes I end up burning a bridge.........
 
Yes, my dad and grandma were always asking for money, I would say no, but they would just keep pressing, and I would end up giving it to them, even though I could never afford it. My grandma guilted me into signing co-signing a car loan, but the dealership had lied on the application doubling my income and saying I got child support even though I have never had a chid. My grandma couldn't afford the car loan, but she was in denail as she always is about money. I am envious of my sister who is able to say no, but she gets so much crap from everyone for being selfish. My grandma disowns her every other time she talks to her.
 
I can never tell anyone no, its just not within me. I'll only do it if i have a prior, more important comittment and even then i'll feel guilty about it.
 
Yep. I am a people pleaser. I am bad about working in last minute customers in my carpet cleaning business so I end up working 12 hours days sometimes. As I get older though my body is starting to force me to say no. I also seem to take on any church tasks nobody else will do.
 
I used to have a hard time saying no, now I have a hard time saying no in an agreeable manner haha

I confess I really like to feel like a dependable person, and there have been some people who have exploited that :/
 
I did until I was about 17 years old. I got fed up with people putting me on the spot about much of anything and decided I won't allow it to happen anymore.

Forty plus years later and I haven't wavered.
 
YES! It´s always been a major problem in my life, to the point that sometimes I have the feeling that it eill be better not seeing anyone than having to deal with saying "no". I´m working on that though. But I hate hurting people´s feeling, even if they had been mean with me, then I end up doing things that I don´t want to. When I´m able to say "no" I feel proud but also guilty. It feels really good knowing I´m not the only one.
 
A big problem with me. When I was gigging, I had trouble judging my own limits. One of the (many) reasons I quit the profession.
 
No. Usually I have to say it at work regarding the trading of shifts or someone is selling something. Boy have they given me pissed off looks, but now they're used to it. I've said it so many times that the word "No" just rolls off my tongue with no effort. :p I just got tired of people wanting me to trade shifts, but they wouldn't do me any favors when I needed to trade. And I don't need to buy any of the crap they're selling when I have Amazon and QVC! :rolleyes:
 
I'm a total push-over. No is really hard for me to say in most situations.
It's a major problem and complicates my life because I keep saying yes and agreeing to do things and then I can't find the time to get the stuff done, it stresses me out and I don't deal well with stress.
 
For many years I had a history of being over-obedient at times. I believe I've improved since then and can recognize when I should respond how I feel instead of "Oh, all right.".
 
Kari Suttle said:
I can never tell anyone no, its just not within me. I'll only do it if i have a prior, more important comittment and even then i'll feel guilty about it.
Click to expand...

Don't worry Kari , being assertive ( a person who can say Yes and No at the right moment ) is also not a characteristics that is inherited in my blood. When I find myself in different situations I always try to avoid ,,No " . Instead I say ,, Maybe " , ,, Possible " or other formulas that don't include a negative answer.
 
I did have a tough time with saying no, but then I realized my mother and grandmother had a tough time saying no to people as well, so they were always getting taken advantage of. That made me angry, I hate it when people try to use others like that. I learned to say no politely, but quite firmly.
 
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