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 then I spent some time (several months) in a hospital and dreamt of moving some place wonderful with lots of friendly people, eventually we moved into a building where I spent most of my childhood and soon after I started attending kindergarten.  I quickly realized that no mater where I went, how many times I moved I would feel the same way. That surrounding wasn't the cause, it was me. I thought about life and death a lot,  about my purpose in life and saw a picture of myself going through life quickly while never being satisfied.  Then I promised to myself to try enjoying life, learning how to do it. Later I felt that I needed a purpose. Sometimes I imagined that I would do something amazing, something great and it kept me going. I also knew that life in itself may just carry the meaning I was searching for but, somehow, it wasn't enough. By the end of high school I felt that the system failed me and that despite of my talents and intelligence I may never succeed,  I may never be independent.  I tried to prove myself wrong but it never worked.  I live in a country where I think I belong,  I have kids now and I feel the need for this mysterious purpose to shine on me a little more but it is still very hard to believe that it's not just an illusion.  I don't want to see myself dying unfulfilled,  I want to see myself dying surrounded by loving friends and family, I want to see my kids happy and I want to have peace that I accomplished what I struggled so much to understand... yeah
 then I spent some time (several months) in a hospital and dreamt of moving some place wonderful with lots of friendly people, eventually we moved into a building where I spent most of my childhood and soon after I started attending kindergarten.  I quickly realized that no mater where I went, how many times I moved I would feel the same way. That surrounding wasn't the cause, it was me. I thought about life and death a lot,  about my purpose in life and saw a picture of myself going through life quickly while never being satisfied.  Then I promised to myself to try enjoying life, learning how to do it. Later I felt that I needed a purpose. Sometimes I imagined that I would do something amazing, something great and it kept me going. I also knew that life in itself may just carry the meaning I was searching for but, somehow, it wasn't enough. By the end of high school I felt that the system failed me and that despite of my talents and intelligence I may never succeed,  I may never be independent.  I tried to prove myself wrong but it never worked.  I live in a country where I think I belong,  I have kids now and I feel the need for this mysterious purpose to shine on me a little more but it is still very hard to believe that it's not just an illusion.  I don't want to see myself dying unfulfilled,  I want to see myself dying surrounded by loving friends and family, I want to see my kids happy and I want to have peace that I accomplished what I struggled so much to understand... yeah  that's my little note about motivation
 that's my little note about motivation 
For me, to actually get something done, I need to be be at it 24/7. That's how I get results of any undertakings. And yes, some tasks are so extensive, that they're not done in 3 hours, but actually require 2 days of no sleep and pretty much passing out after 48 hours, only to wake up and hope I can catch up on the momentum of motivation for said project..
