Do you really believe people want to help others with a disability?

[SunnyDay16]

Most persons do not care and will come up with some excuse to not help, to look the other way, to not inquire more, or to deny the existence of an issue that needs help with, as it requires often either a very empathetic, analytical, open minded, patient, and selfless person, and as most persons may only care about themselves and/or their familes and loved ones. Those who see some other benefit for themselves besides feeling good in helping others in need, they may help as well.

In order to be helped though it is often imperative to directly ask for the specific help, as most persons do not look deeper to look for needs in others, nor want to waste the efforts there in trying to assist unless they know the recipient is receptive to that. Or many others will assume everything is ok, if on the surface things look ok. But, even if you directly ask for help, I agree most still may see it as a request that is bothering them, or they may not know what to do, nor will most research things, make additional contacts or show much effort outside of their usual protocol or ways.

Also, please understand many persons that are disabled or with conditions may not be receptive to help, or they will only want to be helped on their terms which is not the ways that helper can help. Truth is it is not just an NT issue of not helping the disabled. Even the disabled and those with conditions often do not want to help each other, for the same reasons I mentioned, and as their conditions may make that harder to do so. Yes they may support each other, or relay similar experiences, but they often will not make other efforts, to even those who make specific requests.

That is the "me" or "i" generation we are in. Make excuses, and put in as little efforts as possible for others outside of them or their family. "What do I get out of this by helping" attitude, or "let someone else help that person who made the request as I rather do my usual thing." Yes, there are others with conditions, but often that is an excuse not to help too, as if they cannot help others, then they should understand others have their reasons, too, for not helping them. I have posted here to help others in some way, as I learn too by being here, realizing some though do not want help, and that is fine, but the two times I asked for specific help in forums, only one person tried to help in that reasonable request I made, even if it could have helped support others with Autism or another with Autism by doing so, or helped them gain valuable information or some good feeling to help one with need. Disappointment is the feeling I have for that. Not sadness, or anger. I have since learned if I want something, do it myself. I trust and have faith in my abilities the best.

Whether one is an NT, ND, one with a condition, a professional, lay person, or not, very few of any of these persons will go outside of their comfort zones to really want to make a difference in another's lives, even if it meant them learning more about themselves or making someone happier too. Sorry if that may offend others, but that is the truth from all my numerous experiences with NTs, NDs, those with disabilities, and so forth. Maybe if lots of these persons could try putting themselves in other shoes, if the ability, there would be more natural helpers in this world.

I do agree with most of what you said, but I don't agree with this being a generational problem. People have always been reluctant to help others unless they're getting something out of it. I would say that when it comes to disabilities, it's better now than ever because there's a lot more awareness when it comes to them whereas only a decade or so ago people didn't even think they existed other than the blatantly obvious physical ones.

 

[Mr Allen]

I do agree with most of what you said, but I don't agree with this being a generational problem. People have always been reluctant to help others unless they're getting something out of it. I would say that when it comes to disabilities, it's better now than ever because there's a lot more awareness when it comes to them whereas only a decade or so ago people didn't even think they existed other than the blatantly obvious physical ones.

That's the point though, some disabled people, particularly some with mental disabilities, actually LOOK disabled, whereas others look, for want of a better word, normal.

A long time ago I went on an Adventure holiday with a disabled Youth club I was in, and I saw guys in wheelchairs with no legs doing abseiling and rock climbing, really opened my eyes to how brave these guys were despite their obvious physical limits.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I do agree with most of what you said, but I don't agree with this being a generational problem. People have always been reluctant to help others unless they're getting something out of it. I would say that when it comes to disabilities, it's better now than ever because there's a lot more awareness when it comes to them whereas only a decade or so ago people didn't even think they existed other than the blatantly obvious physical ones.

I just think the last twenty five years persons have slowly started to become more spoiled and entitled, and less into helping. To start, once the internet and social media sprang up, and became more and more a part of many persons' everyday lives, this often meant less emphasis on the basics and real family communication and togetherness, and more priority seemed to be on who has the most friends, who can take advantage of others through marketing the quickest, and who can have the most fun, etc.

Men used to look forward to farming and blue collar jobs. Now it is who has the biggest business, the best car, the largest home. Women used to be into just focus on the children at home, but many now think they can have it all, and both genders think it can be done in easier ways. Look at audience members in talk shows the last twenty years. Now they need to be bribed with gifts and big surprises. It is not enough these days to be entertained. People want more, snd instant gratification.

Times certainly have changed some I feel in terms of helping others, as when things were more basic and focus was more on family togetherness, I feel more persons in this world could have been counted on to show true care. Now people are too busy either at work, trying to get rich quick, or trying to have fun.

 

[SunnyDay16]

I just think the last twenty five years persons have slowly started to become more spoiled and entitled, and less into helping. To start, once the internet and social media sprang up, and became more and more a part of many persons' everyday lives, this often meant less emphasis on the basics and real family communication and togetherness, and more priority seemed to be on who has the most friends, who can take advantage of others through marketing the quickest, and who can have the most fun, etc.

Men used to look forward to farming and blue collar jobs. Now it is who has the biggest business, the best car, the largest home. Women used to be into just focus on the children at home, but many now think they can have it all, and both genders think it can be done in easier ways. Look at audience members in talk shows the last twenty years. Now they need to be bribed with gifts and big surprises. It is not enough these days to be entertained. People want more, snd instant gratification.

Look at the president of the US. Forty percent still think he is good for this country. That tells me many things. You can tell often alot about persons by who they side with. Well, he seems to think of himself, take advantage of others, lie to others and not care about others. Ten to twenty five years ago we would never likely have voted for someone like that. We even have propoganda news channels now to serve their own best interests. Times certainly have changed some I feel in terms of helping others, as when things were more basic and focus was more on family togetherness, I feel more persons in this world could have been counted on to show true care. Now people are too busy either at work, trying to get rich quick, or trying to have fun.

I definitely think there have been many changes in society, but I personally feel many of these changes were for the better, like less of an emphasis on traditional gender norms. However, I do feel that the internet and social media has made human contact more robotic and dare I say disposable.

 

[Dillon]

I just think the last twenty five years persons have slowly started to become more spoiled and entitled, and less into helping. To start, once the internet and social media sprang up, and became more and more a part of many persons' everyday lives, this often meant less emphasis on the basics and real family communication and togetherness, and more priority seemed to be on who has the most friends, who can take advantage of others through marketing the quickest, and who can have the most fun, etc.

Men used to look forward to farming and blue collar jobs. Now it is who has the biggest business, the best car, the largest home. Women used to be into just focus on the children at home, but many now think they can have it all, and both genders think it can be done in easier ways. Look at audience members in talk shows the last twenty years. Now they need to be bribed with gifts and big surprises. It is not enough these days to be entertained. People want more, snd instant gratification.

Times certainly have changed some I feel in terms of helping others, as when things were more basic and focus was more on family togetherness, I feel more persons in this world could have been counted on to show true care. Now people are too busy either at work, trying to get rich quick, or trying to have fun.

I have to agree with you on this.
To be honest I feel like the way how things are, some autistic people’s social cues seem worse cause of people not wanting to talk face to face but instead through social media. That path that we are going is not going to help people with aspergers knowing that some will and still have more of a hard time talking to someone in person when all people do is text and such. Texting is easy for some but without that face to face conversation with others it may not be easy but even have a face to face conversation can be difficult so I find that as a balance of an issue. I find texting even more difficult sometimes knowing the culture we are living inis filled with arrogance at times.
Social media has gotten worse in terms of cyber bulling and other negativity that some people don’t know how to be civilized towards one another. When I try to talk to someone I would notice that person is on his/her phone (I am too sometimes) and is so self absorbed that there seems to be no care around their surroundings (maybe not but that’s how I see it).
That’s the best I could explain things.

As much as I like technology and texting I get tired of it sometimes towards the human aspect of things. I feel like technology has actually led to a more of a decrease of actual care in people’s minds.