Does any one feel like they need to be taken care of ?

[Daniela]

I don't realy know how to explain this, but I feel like I need someone to take care of me, to tell me what to do like a parent is that an Asperger thing ?

 

[The Penguin]

I done some thinking and wondering if you where looking for sense of directions or guidance?

 

[Daniela]

I done some thinking and wondering if you where looking for sense of directions or guidance?

Its like I need to be protected and guided not jus in my decisioncs but in my every day life too like its time to school and I depend on my mom to wake me up our sometimes when I have a problem ( I don't do this a lot now thanks God) I waith for someone to solve it ....I feel like a kid but this is like hardcore in me

 

[The Penguin]

Its like I need to be protected and guided not jus in my decisioncs but in my every day life too like its time to school and I depend on my mom to wake me up our sometimes when I have a problem ( I don't do this a lot now thanks God) I waith for someone to solve it ....I feel like a kid but this is like hardcore in me

I see. Wish I had advice for you. The fact I was placed in a foster home and lived on my own since age 17, I had to figure everything on my own. I wish I had more support longer but when my father abandoned me, I had no options.

 

[Daniela]

I see. Wish I had advice for you. The fact I was placed in a foster home and lived on my own since age 17, I had to figure everything on my own. I wish I had more support longer but when my father abandoned me, I had no options.

I see ,its okay I don't think even others spies feel like this pen thank you

 

[Suzanne]

Not sure if it is an aspie thing, but sadly I know exactly how you feel, because yes, I do feel this way as well!

The cold reality is that as adults, this is rather too much to ask another human being. I took my husband literally when he said he would take care of me for the rest of my life, because that is what I expected, but not what I got! Oh he is pretty brilliant at times ie puts up with my extreme social phobia and other traits, despite having insecurities of his own, but rightfully so, he expects me to take care of him and that is where we get unstuck! I am tons better than I used to be, but still have that need to be wrapped up in cotton wool and told it is going to be ok!

As a child, it is natural to want this; as adults, sadly, it just isn't going to happen. Well, not to the extent we want it to happen. I want my husband to hold my hand all the time, but it is unreasonable of me to demand it!

 

[Daniela]

Not sure if it is an aspie thing, but sadly I know exactly how you feel, because yes, I do feel this way as well!

The cold reality is that as adults, this is rather too much to ask another human being. I took my husband literally when he said he would take care of me for the rest of my life, because that is what I expected, but not what I got! Oh he is pretty brilliant at times ie puts up with my extreme social phobia and other traits, despite having insecurities of his own, but rightfully so, he expects me to take care of him and that is where we get unstuck! I am tons better than I used to be, but still have that need to be wrapped up in cotton wool and told it is going to be ok!

As a child, it is natural to want this; as adults, sadly, it just isn't going to happen. Well, not to the extent we want it to happen. I want my husband to hold my hand all the time, but it is unreasonable of me to demand it!

Yes I totally feel like that , how did you manage to get out of it even if its just a little

 

[Suzanne]

Yes I totally feel like that , how did you manage to get out of it even if its just a little

Time, maturity ( wow really lol) and life! What helps me, even when I feel so in despair that it frightens me, I have my faith and know that Jehovah ( God, to me) will always make a way out and wow He proves it to me!

But without meaning to push knives into wounds, I do have a husband who is a very romantic man and is always very touchy touchy and although I am not, I know that I can go for cuddles any time, so I do see that I am blessed in that!

Unfortunately, my marriage has been my downfall really, because it means that I have not had to force myself to be an adult! He is my "wall" of security.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I think women feel like this more as in society women are brought up thinking that some "prince" on a white horse is going to show up and protect them and take care of their every need and we all know that is not going to happen (except in a Harlequin romance novel).

I have sometimes where I just want to go back to my childhood when I had nothing to worry about. Or I sometimes want to stay under the covers and never come out. Sometimes I wake up with a panic attack thinking about if something happens to me there is no one else to help and that scares me - I'm the only one bringing money in and making all my decisions and I find that quite scary, sometimes to the point I can't sleep.

 

[Judge]

Interesting question given I spent five years of my life taking care of my NT mother full-time in her last years. And as a consequence I'm terribly aware of how precarious life can be for someone who is physically and mentally deteriorating. My NT brother was never capable of making such a sacrifice. Nor my NT cousin.

There is no one to take care of me in such a way. And I'm unlikely to have the money to pay someone to do it.

I will die alone and I know it. Damn right it scares me. It should scare anyone. Not the dying, but being alone when it happens. Makes me very sad.

 

[Daniela]

Time, maturity ( wow really lol) and life! What helps me, even when I feel so in despair that it frightens me, I have my faith and know that Jehovah ( God, to me) will always make a way out and wow He proves it to me!

But without meaning to push knives into wounds, I do have a husband who is a very romantic man and is always very touchy touchy and although I am not, I know that I can go for cuddles any time, so I do see that I am blessed in that!

Unfortunately, my marriage has been my downfall really, because it means that I have not had to force myself to be an adult! He is my "wall" of security.

I see, when i told my psychiatrist she asked me if I didn't want to merry, like that would solve my problem like that. XD but they want a partener not a child to take care of.
And yeah God deftenaly helps

 

[Progster]

I often feel I need someone to give me good advice, especially of tricky personal or social matters. I don't always know what to do and I worry a lot.

 

[SkyBlue]

Not everyone on the spectrum is independent and it's perfectly okay if you aren't, but everyone should still strive to have independent goals of some sort, such as cleaning their own messes or making their own meals. I'm independent but only so much, I know I couldn't manage owning my own home. An apartment is plenty.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I found myself really needing a symbiotic relationship. I'm fine with getting help with stuff I need but I also need to take care of somebody too. It works out enough with what I've got.

 

[dragonless]

When i was younger i thought of myself as independent and acted as such. i enjoyed the freedom and a higher self-esteem. Somewhere in my early 40's i lost most of my hard-won independence, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and the dysthymia i had was joined with major depression (many reasons). Slight worries in my youth that i might be alone suddenly became a cold fact, and now i constantly worry when - not if - i will be homeless, what could i do about my cats, and how can i possibly continue on with these feelings of hopelessness and despair. So yes, i really wish someone could stand by my side and point out the stepping stones that i know are there but i just can't see. Maybe someone just to lean on for a bit.

As Judge said, it's not the dying that scares me; it's the dying alone (and i worry constantly what will happen to my kitties).

 

[watersprite]

Most of the time, I am completely fine with taking care of myself. It took me until I was an older person to feel that way. But. Every so often I seem to fall down a pit of helplessness, and then I need assistance and support. That's (partly) why I have a counselor. Usually it is some problem I'm facing where I cannot see a solution, get worried, anxious, even a little bit of panic can set in if I don't get some solution and take action.

 

[Cerulean]

I definitely do. I love spending time with my mom because she always falls back into mom role and I into child role even though I'm 30 and living independently. We're going on a family vacation in a couple months for my cousin's wedding, and I can't wait to travel with her and not be in charge of driving, car rental, hotel stuff, logistics... It'll be like an extra vacation from being in charge

 

[Daniela]

I definitely do. I love spending time with my mom because she always falls back into mom role and I into child role even though I'm 30 and living independently. We're going on a family vacation in a couple months for my cousin's wedding, and I can't wait to travel with her and not be in charge of driving, car rental, hotel stuff, logistics... It'll be like an extra vacation from being in charge

This,yes is like im saying mom take care of me like im litle again XD I think thats one of the reasons that i have for having an extreqm panic of my mom death its like if she dies whu will take care of me ?

 

[Judge]

If you do have a good relationship with your parents, make the most of it if you can.

Simple truth. They won't be around forever.

 

[On the Inside]

Well, I've managed to take care of myself, but it hasn't been easy, nor altogether successful. I've kept a job, own a run down modest home, have some savings. But it has come at a psychic cost. I wish I had made better choices, ones that were better aligned with my abilities and challenges. That would have required more self-knowledge, help and support than I was provided.

So yes, I have often felt I needed to be taken care of. Makes me realize I should be more grateful for the times that I have been.