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Does anyone else enjoy an argument for the mental exercise or is it just me?

Connor Malone

Connor Malone

Well-Known Member
So basically I have HFA. I'm very good at hiding it. Like insanely good. No one would ever guess. But I've noticed that I really enjoy conflict, especially winning arguments. Now I say arguments but what I really mean is how other people tend to get into a verbal "roasting match" with each other. I've heard that most aspies tend to be less aggressive but for me it couldn't be more further from the truth. I'm not physically aggressive although I can if I want to be. I just tend to be good at finding people's mental weak points and exploiting them in an argument just to watch them crumple and retreat into themselves and it feels wonderful. However I only really do this when someone has rubbed me up the wrong way I don't go out of my way just to find the easiest target. In fact the stronger the better. Thoughts?
 
That might not fly well here ;)

We encourage debates here,but also do not let them spiral out of control to the point of being arguments.
This might be a good time to review our fairly relaxed rules so you can help us keep the peace for all who are members.
General Rules & Guidelines
 
Nitro said:
That might not fly well here ;)

We encourage debates here,but also do not let them spiral out of control to the point of being arguments.
This might be a good time to review our fairly relaxed rules so you can help us keep the peace for all who are members.
General Rules & Guidelines
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Yeah I know. Wasn't my intention to do it here to anyone just to discuss the topic. Don't worry I wont be starting fights anytime soon haha
 
Let's just say that since I've discovered being on the spectrum, it's a trait I've worked to suppress and not indulge. I'm a "work in progress".

IMO it's not any kind of virtue.
 
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Can I ask why? Like I understand suppressing it for the regular person who you just want to have a chat with but if there's a guy who's being a bit of a dick don't you want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Or at least show him that trying it out on you wont be easy? Again just wondering. Also how did you get the aspie score thing. I know I have HFA but I'm curious to see how much progress I've made since my diagnosis
 
Connor Malone said:
Can I ask why? Like I understand suppressing it for the regular person who you just want to have a chat with but if there's a guy who's being a bit of a dick don't you want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Or at least show him that trying it out on you wont be easy? Again just wondering. Also how did you get the aspie score thing. I know I have HFA but I'm curious to see how much progress I've made since my diagnosis
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IMO in essence, two wrongs don't make a right.

We have a number of threads about various tests. I just see them as benchmarks worthy to investigate one's possible autism further. Not to be intended as an exclusive diagnostic tool.

The Baron-Cohen Autism Quotient Score: The AQ-test; The Autism Spectrum Quotient

The Ritvo Autism Asperger's Diagnostic Scale: The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R)

Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Scale: Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale
 
I'm fairly good at spotting people's weak points and could exploit this to be vicious and hurtful, but I choose not to. I've learned since I was quite young that I can easily get the upper hand in discussions by using low blows, but that doesn't sit well with me. I don't like being hurtful. I like winning discussions, but I like to win because my arguments are better. I do verbal sparring matches with friends quite a lot, but in that case it's okay to make fun of each other, as long as it's funny, not mean.
Sometimes, when people are goading me, I sit and ponder all the devastating remarks I could make, but I just choose to smile and disengage because in the end it makes me feel better about myself.

I do understand what you mean though :)
 
IRL, if someone is persistently antagonistic to me, I usually adjust my responses so (if it is intentional) they will be "hoisted by their own petards." It is (sort of) a verbal aikido.

There have been so many times that my first impression was incorrect. My approach doesn't adversely affect a misunderstood innocent party.
 
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Somewhat. Confrontation of others is something I can find really upsetting and uncomfortable. I can't watch programmes where people are deliberately doing confrontational things any more. I don't know why. On the flip side I can argue my side of an argument no problem and I also argue quite often with bigots on the internet. This isn't healthy for me though because I have a mindset of constantly thinking of how to retort to imaginary directions a discussion can go in. It stresses me out so I need to stop doing it. Sort of thinking about looking for an add-on for my browser to remove comment sections because those types of morons make me really angry - and arguing with them ain't going to do a damn thing!
 
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For me it's some times just heated discussion and I fall into representing an idea or one side.
Not my personal opinion (you don't always need one but a lot of people think you do)
Then it can become an emotional thing which I miss until it's too late..

I used to think that you could argue or debate to 'win' but the arguments always stay the same. Especially on the media... oh here's that debate again (name your subject) everybody making the same point to again..

A sidebar would be that the Internet has expanded the power of ignorance. Enabling g 'like to meet lkke' and therefore feelings more justified in their position...
I digress...
 
No, I find arguments and confrontation very stressful, even when it begins as a friendly debate.

I find it difficult to articulate my thoughts, especially when I need to think quickly to get a point made, then I get muddled and angry and upset.
 
ksheehan88 said:
No, I find arguments and confrontation very stressful, even when it begins as a friendly debate.

I find it difficult to articulate my thoughts, especially when I need to think quickly to get a point made, then I get muddled and angry and upset.
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I used to get like that but I trained myself to get better at it. Well my NT friends did. We went to a rough school and they, along with my parents gave me the skill set to have a mostly normal life
 
Connor Malone said:
I used to get like that but I trained myself to get better at it. Well my NT friends did. We went to a rough school and they, along with my parents gave me the skill set to have a mostly normal life
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Maybe if I'd had more friends I'd have learnt.

With my parents there was no such thing as "argument"... You backchat, you get a backhand
 
ksheehan88 said:
Maybe if I'd had more friends I'd have learnt.

With my parents there was no such thing as "argument"... You backchat, you get a backhand
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Omg, my mom is still like this. Instead of backhands, she yells like there is no tomorrow. It gets so bad for so many petty things that I have to start walking away and refusing to continue the task at hand until she stops her temper tantrums.

When I was younger, she forced me to play the trumpet even for 1.5 months after being forced to wear shoes 1.5 sizes to small for me from the band director and color guard director. I didn't walk away from the entire situation and call the police because it was a small town and I was afraid that my parents' livelihood would be affected.
God damn control freaks.
 
Only as a last resort. That's definitely something I don't do on a regular basis and I think the majority of idiots on and off the net who do it frequently out of insecurity or immaturity, etc. have too much time on their hands that could be better spent doing something more constructive. Harmless banter is one thing, but unless verbal sparring is a competitive sport with cash prizes, count me out.

Really, I prefer not to stoop down to that point and just ignore them, but if someone's being unusually and persistently obnoxious or a complete douche for no reason, I've no problem or hesitation at all barking back.
 
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I relate. Do this less now then when I was younger.
Takes restraint and conscious effort.

I love a good debate. I play on other forums... here it seems out of place. My words can end discussions.. which is often opposing my intention.

Physically I do this as well. I do not start fights, but love it once I am "justified". My fear/common sense ratio is skewed. There is no flight. Always fight.

My first fisticuffs was against 4 high schoolers. I was 9 or 10. My friend ran. They caught him and held him down. Spat in his mouth!
They came after me and I met them in the middle. Introduced them to some rabid squirrel heart. After a few minutes they surrendered. Well, got tired of kicking on me. Nothing went in my mouth though.

They say you can't take anything with you when you die. Not true. You can take one of two choices.
Self respect or disrespect of self.

Starting a fight or taking a piss out of someone is not very respectful of them or you.
 
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