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Does anyone else struggle with same gender friends?

Ralph96

Ralph96

Active Member
I am a guy and I have a fair few female friends I can rely on.

But I struggle with Male friends. I have had very few in my life but we don’t keep in touch and I often feel lonely or like it is a relationship I really would like. I feel like I’m not very good at being a Man because I should be better at this.

Is this common?
 
I'm female, and I find that most other females are very different to me in the way they think and act. I have always been a tomboy. It depends on the person, though. Whether male or female, each person has their own personality and this is what will decide whether I get on well with a person or not, rather than their gender.
 
Yes, I have always found it to be very hard to make friends with my own sex. But since finding out about aspergers, in fact, it has helped me to know who me is all about and because of this, I have a couple of lady friends, but as is always the case, they are older than me.

There is one lady who is a few month's older than me and we are ok sometimes with each other, but she does insist on changing her personality and I find that hard to deal with, which is one big reason I find it hard to be around my own sex, is because they are hot or cold and I am for ever panicking if I have done something wrong!

Although I am a woman woman ie I wear skirts and dresses, that type of woman. That is where it stops. I do not wear a lot of make up. And currently, just a dash of mascara SOMETIMES and most females talk about make up or now, it is their children and well, even if I were a mother, I would find it rather boring lol

I have one much older lady friend who accepts me for who I am and even though we text a lot more than we are face to face ( circumstances) when we are face to face, there is no issue at all and this is because we are on the same page. She is quite happy to talk deep talk; whereas I find that most females are not like this and quite frankly, females scare the heck out of me!
 
I have difficulty making friends with the same gender,I know they say it’s usually tomboys who struggle with having friends of the same gender but the weird thing is that I’m not a tomboy yet I still feel like I don’t relate to other girls,it’s a been a issue I struggle with for most of my life.
 
I've always gotten on, far better with males than females, unless the females I am interacting with, happen to be autistic/aspergien in some way or form.
 
I never could relate to women my own age when I was younger, but it's better now. I still don't have close female friends, but acquaintanceships are less awkward now.

I used to be friends with mostly men, but I got sick of them developing crushes on me, so now I avoid creating new friendships with men - though I would never cut off an old friendship.

So I'm antisocial I guess. Not that I dislike people, just that I've given up trying. It's more effort than I have to spare.
 
Its not uncommon. They say having friends is positive for you, but I think its not a strong point for people on the spectrum.

Guy friends may be more activity orientated. Like you do a shared interest together.
 
I'm with the other women who have commented. Having female friends just doesn't work well for me. I think last week I upset one, failed at an attempt to be friends with another. I still have one female friend who I do ok with. And a close acquaintance.
 
I’d always thought that because I was raised with brothers (no sisters) I knew how to get along with males far better than females.
?

With the recognition of asd, it may be possible I could be ‘wired-up’ in a slightly similar way to my brothers and some men which could make getting along with them easier?
 
I've never gotten along with other guys. It always seems like there's some sort of pissing match for dominance among guys, and I never back down so I actually tend to make more enemies than friends among men.

I seem to get along great with women though. Don't know why.
 
I never got along with girls until I started being a cold b word to them. They seem to love it and want to be your friend.
Its disheartening but I theorize they feel like youre more honest
they never trusted me when I was just sweet and nice, they thought it was a game.

ugh nt's are a headache
 
I've never gotten along with females as friends.
Like some others here, I just never had what I would call
real friends anyway.
But, I get along much better with guys.
We seem to have more in common to talk about.
I don't have things in common with other women.
And I grew up a Tomboy, too.
I was Dad's boy named Sue.
Let's go fishing, hunting and cut some kindeling
for the black kettle! :D
 
Smiley said:
I'm antisocial I guess
Click to expand...

Guessed wrong, happily for you! I thought I was antisocial too, especially suffering from social phobia, but I was told I am not and so, I decided to look the definition up and indeed, this person is right.

A person who is antisocial is one who actually goes out of their way to make enemies and they are rude as could be, just to because they want to be.
 
Wow. Thanks for all the responses. I don’t know whether it’s helpful or upsetting to know it’s quite common.
 
I used to only have female friends. Women can just be a lot more accepting. But lately I've met a bunch of guys, and being friends with guys definitely has its moments where it's better than being friends with girls. Not that I didn't talk to any guys before that, but most of them were just occasional chit chat.

Like gaming. I'm only friends with 1 girl that games too, but she lives on the other side of the world, so we're rarely awake at the same time.
 
When I was a child, I found other girls to be utterly abhorrent to be around with. Sure, the boys didn't care for me since I was a girl, so I was lonely.
During my teenagehood I realised that mostly guys shared my common interests, but that there were few gals that did too. I still find groups of women to be hard to navigate around, but can befriend either gender.

... Usually I'm quite straight-up about my autism, so that new friends might forgive any social faux-pas I make, too. Patience and listening goes a long way.
 
For me it's kind of the opposite. It does tend to be easier for me to get along with guys, but the friendships aren't as deep or emotionally caring as friendships with girls. Also, pretty much every guy I befriended ended up having feelings for me, so it would almost always ruin the friendship. I used to avoid being friends with girls and thought that I was "different" from them, but I came to realize how silly this mindset was. Now I avoid making friends with guys, particularly if they are straight and single, because it's guaranteed to not end well.
 
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