Does anyone feel awkward when meeting new people?

[superboyian]

Does anyone feel awkward when meeting new people?

This is the problem that I've always had and I pretty much no idea why, I would often not be able to say a word out back then.

Even now I sometimes feel awkward but the thing I've always been able to do is when someone talks to me, I would engage a conversation back with the other person as before I probably wouldn't have been able to do that so well.

 

[Billi]

I went on a bike ride that was followed by a pot luck lunch. I made banana pudding. The funny thing is when I am out on a group ride, I am fine talking to people I don't know. On a bike I am comfortable with that. But when the ride is over, unless it's people I know I can't talk to them. I ususally just leave without saying anything. This group I rode with Sunday, I only know like three people out of sixty. I spoke to them, they moved on to talk to other people, and I then stood around awkwardly by myself. I was about to leave when one of the ride organizers came to tell me he really liked the pudding I made, and introduced himself, told me about the groups other rides, and asked me about myself. I can talk to people like that. I just can't make smalltalk, and it's very hard for me to just talk to strangers.

 

[CJinherPJs]

I feel awkward around new people, especially those my own age. It's like I don't know what to say to them but can just about muddle through it, even though I'm usually uncomfortable doing so, especially if the other person is being too personal. But I can't stand the awkward silences (which in the past has been an early indication of another social screw-up for CJ) so I try to keep the conversation going. If all else fails I talk about the weather.:lol2:

 

[Droopy]

If all else fails I talk about the weather.:lol2:

There's always someone to talk to about the weather.

 

[xxjoleenxx]

Yes it is awkward. I can't ever seem to find the words to say, so I remain quiet making me come off as cold because when I am nervous I am expressionless. If the person was to initiate the conversation I will talk back but find it hard sometimes to think of stuff to talk about.

 

[jaws]

So, it is not just me? I feel really nervous, as in thinking "what?" what should I say, what should I do...

I too prefer people talking to me and asking me things. Since I find that rarely happens, I just use my sales training skills where introduce yourself, ask about their interests, where they are from, where they work(or go to school), do they like their work(classes), ask about their family, complement them, etc...social order dictates that they should mirror you and ask the same things back to you. Seems to work, but often I find I'm asking but not really wanting to know...but it can fill the awkward silence. Quick note, don't do it in the same order for each person...give them time to answer and pause to see if they ask you something, etc.

 

[Balamvucub]

Around much older people I dont feel so awkward talking to as I find them to be calmer,and they have some interesting bits of history that one usually doesn't read of in history books and such. Younger people my age, face to face make me feel awkward,as I have nothing in common with many of them,and havent a clue as to what to say to them.

 

[Droopy]

So, it is not just me? I feel really nervous, as in thinking "what?" what should I say, what should I do...

That's how I feel too. I also find it awkward just standing there in silence while thinking of what to say or do.

I too prefer people talking to me and asking me things. Since I find that rarely happens, I just use my sales training skills where introduce yourself, ask about their interests, where they are from, where they work(or go to school), do they like their work(classes), ask about their family, complement them, etc...social order dictates that they should mirror you and ask the same things back to you. Seems to work, but often I find I'm asking but not really wanting to know...but it can fill the awkward silence. Quick note, don't do it in the same order for each person...give them time to answer and pause to see if they ask you something, etc.

Good advice, I will keep that in mind.

 

[RooRoo]

at first yes i do but i also warm up to people fast and then i talk a way um maybe too much sometime and then they think im weird lol...

 

[juffur]

Meeting new people is very awkward. It usually takes me awhile to warm up to someone new. I find myself thinking about how awkward the situation is while I'm in it rather than focusing on the conversation. That usually leads to more awkwardness lol

 

[Calcifer]

Yup.
I just don't know what it is. I mean, okay, I meet the person, and try to be as friendly as possible, and then... what? What am I supposed to talk about with a person I've just met? The weather? How they've been? (That doesn't last very long anyway, since they would just answer 'oh, I've been good'.) I mean, I don't know anything about the new people I meet, so I don't know what things they may be interested to talk about. I just stay there in awkward silence until one of my more people-friendly friends appears and starts going off talking.

 

[nintendogurl1990]

I feel awkward when meeting new people, all the time. Everytime someone introduces themself to me I tend to look away from them and talk rather quietly because I'm worried I might say or do somethiing stupid and I'll embarrass myself in front of them.

 

[dwoolridge]

It is somtimes akward for me to talk to people that I dont know but it all depends on the person

 

[Billi]

Sometimes I feel good and I am not self-conscious. Thursday I was on a ferry boat full of tourist, crossing the river with my bike, I'm in my bike clothes, going over to a race. I was feeling very good, and not very anxious. I pointed out some dolphins that were swimming by the boat to some German tourists, and they were very excited about seeing them. On the way back across, after the race I felt a little more withdrawn, (I had surprised myself by finishing third) and I was replaying everything in my head to see if I had committed any blunders during the race. Not so much about finishing in a better, position, but if I did anything that might have made offended someone, or made me look dumb. There are rules beyond the official rules of the race, the unwritten type that everyone in the group is expected to know. The kind I am often clueless about. Fortunately, competitive cyclist don't seem to care much about hurting feelings, and have let me know when I have made a dumb move or done something wrong. The first time someone corrected me harshly on a ride, I was quietly a bit angry about it, but now I realize they are concerned about safety, and are trying to share their knowledge with me. Sometimes I wish people would do that in social settings, in conversations. Tell me to not get so familiar so fast, or to not monopolize conversations, or just tell me I am boring them, or talking too much. I often figure it out after the fact, or my partner tells me when we get home.

 

[Daguerreo]

Yes, this is the same for me. I can take up to 6 months to warm up to. There are exceptions but generally it never just happens.

I'm very comfortable with one of the lasses in my economics lecture. so I don't have a problem with her. I talk to her the most. Also I think it's a good sign when she sees me, she sits by me.

However at work, after 4 years I only started becoming good friends with some of the staff, Some it has taken more then a year before I start talking to them regularly. Generally I earn about a friend in every class, and lose nearly all at the end of a semester.

It's when I'm nervous, my social skills go out the window.

 

[kasmanaft08]

I am good with new people for the first five minutes. Then I either give a weird look, give off some body language I'm not aware of, or say something really awkward and loud and then walk away.

Apparently most people just think I'm high.

 

[Withnail88]

I pretty much have to be drinking to make that feeling go away.:S
Truth be told I'm fine after a few minutes. For a while I don't say anything but 'uh-huh' or I used to mimic people.
People have told me, esp. girls, that I am too tense and nervous when i meet them.

 

[Geordie]

I don't feel awkward. I feel excited!

 

[butterfly2]

I find it nerve racking talking to new people especially if they are wiv other people they know. It does take me awhile to warm to them if they start talking to me first and i can ask questions about them and their life. I hate it when they ask questions about me as i have a limitd life. For example where i volunteer someone askd me did i have a good xmas and i didnt know wot to say and i cant lie so just said i had a quiet xmas wiv just me and my dad! They gave me a strange look and laughed at me while they went on about seeing loads of family and friends which i havnt! So what i could say after that and just changed the subject. Incidentally it took me 2 yrs before i got used to the other volunteers there!

 

[King_Oni]

It does depend a lot on why and how I got to meet those people.

I'm terrible if I just have to meet random people for no good reason. It just feels "weird" to me. Most of the time I keep hearing "talk about something I know something about as well", because apparently not everyone is that well versed in movie trivia, songstructure, table top games or philosophy for instance. Most people talk about stuff that doesn't interest me, and obscure/specific interests aren't an icebreaker most of the time. However; I met a lot of people when I played Magic: the gathering tournaments or when I was at stores where people meet for table top games (Warhammer, Warmachine and such) and I wasn't nearly considered as weird because I could actually "geek out" on a subject and people were into it.

So a why I meet people @ such places is because I have to play a game with/against them, a how would probably be "it's practical, thus we have to exchange some basic info"... usually if I feel that person is up for some chat, I'm not that hard to talk to/with.

That being said, an informal tone is better to me. The "official" job interview stuff bothers me a lot, and that's just as well meeting new people. It's probably for a big part that I have to go out of my "own way" and act like someone I'm not... it's where I have to get out of my comfort zone as well as the uphill struggle on how I apparently come across in "formal" settings. In a way, I'm aware that I come across as an "informal" guy and that's just me... so if I went "formal" (and I've actually heard people tell me this) it'd be insincere and totally not me. So on a personal level people told me that I just wouldn't be a fit... and that's pretty much how I start friendships. It's a big hit or miss with me, either we get along fine and have a blast or we don't and I'm the most annoying person you've ever met, there is no in between.

But yeah... awkward feeling is what I have when I should act like I actually WANT to be someones friend (or guy; in a job interview) rather than just being me and go from there.