Everywhere I read about autism it says they don't understand non-verbal cues or are unable to read them, like a social dyslexia sort of thing.
"They" are "we" and "we" have processing issues.
I can understand my ND partners social cues just fine, for the most part. The trouble comes when many people, not just autistic people, mask, anyway.
They are not straight forward and they hide their true feelings, which makes things very confusing when so much sensory data is flooding in and it can be very contradictory when people are not honest. Confusing and unpleasant. People being "fake" , which I understand, I've lived in the "neurotypical+neurodivergent world long enough. And it's not just NT people that aren't honest and real, I know ND people who are chronically not honest as well.
I don't think I'm easy to read either. Plenty of times I know I have "flat affect" and I hide my own true feelings.
Couple that with one of our coping mechanisms, to communicate about the things that excite us, that ignite our curiosity, our "love language" of quote unquote info dumping, and we can get carried away with how cool and interesting WE find the info. We are busy communicating and it takes a lot of
processing power, which takes away from noticing how disinterested people can really be, especially when they are "too polite" to say so.
That's just my take. I don't speak for all autistic people. Plenty might disagree or have different experiences. You know how the
saying goes "If
you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person"
And one other thing, the brain I have, well, it's felt like I've had to study how to be human. It's felt like I have to observe and mimic and it's from the outside looking in.
I thrive on abstract data but humans up close, I've found quite unnerving and there are too many things to process at once to be perceived as "normal" in an unstructured social environment. It's very not fun.
I don't mind structured socializing, but unstructured socializing is too fraught with too many unknowns and variables and things I really can't be bothered trying to adhere to, as the pay offs just don't seem that appealing.
So in one way, it might be that we don't or can't "read" social cues and in another, it just takes SO MUCH energy to pay attention to every little whimsical human thing, that it's just not that interesting to try to blend in, and be accepted, when I feel like I'm not from here anyway, and never will feel at home around most humans.
