Don't Be Shy To Introduce Yourself

[Isadoorian]

Hallo Everyone. I am Barbara, 32 years old, nice to be here

Welcome to the Forums

 

[Emily Write]

Hi, I'm Emily and so was diagnosed with autism when I was three years old.
I'm twenty two now and am struggling with career choices since my special interests don't seem to be options for that. Writing and reading don't have much there and I love to do that more than anything. I'm also Christian and Jesus means more than anything to me. Also, I'm a wreck since I am asexual and biromantic in a non affirming household. Actually, I don't think anybody while they mean well, that I know tend to get that I'm not just lazy or dumb. Tasks are just harder for me to do.

 

[Giraffes]

Hello and welcome Emily, hope you don't mind me asking..... What is biromantic? sounds like thing are tricky ATM when i've posted any concerns or wanted different perspectives i've always found folks here friendly and supportive i hope you like it here.

 

[Barbara88]

Hi Barbara welcome to the forum.

 

[Barbara88]

Welcome to the Forums

 

[Baaaaaaaaaa]

Hi. My name is Callan. I'm fourteen years old. And I have aspergers. I'm from Australia.

 

[Giraffes]

Hi Callan welcome to the forum

 

[Baaaaaaaaaa]

Hello Giraffe

 

[Keena]

Hello. I am brand new...was going to copy/paste what I wrote in my bio but it's superrrr long (hyperlexic *eyeroll*) For now I'll just say that I'm awaiting diagnosis, super new to all of this, very interested in getting to know all of you. Excited because I feel like I finally fit somewhere. Maybe. Hopefully. I think so? (More than likely)

I'm calling myself Keena on here, I'm from West Michigan (but work all over the US), and...yeah. That's me.

 

[Jonn]

Welcome, Keena.
Do you know much about autism?

 

[Keena]

Welcome, Keena.
Do you know much about autism?

Yes. I am an RN, which doesn’t necessarily give me the be-all-end-all info but I learned some while in school. Otherwise, I’ve been researching pretty heavily the last few months.

 

[Baaaaaaaaaa]

Hi keena

 

[Tom]

We are the Humanoids you've been looking for

 

[Jonn]

Yes. I am an RN, which doesn’t necessarily give me the be-all-end-all info but I learned some while in school. Otherwise, I’ve been researching pretty heavily the last few months.

I had a quick Google on "RN", but it would be simpler for me if you could explain what this means.

 

[Ezra]

I had a quick Google on "RN", but it would be simpler for me if you could explain what this means.

Registered Nurse

 

[Keena]

Yep, Ezra is correct. Registered nurse. Been working in healthcare in some capacity for 20 years, a nurse for almost 5. I am a travel nurse right now, which means that I work with an agency and am paid to take contracts around the country. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, but I believe it is also what led me to learn I am autistic. While I’ve never fit in, it is far more difficult to figure out and learn how to imitate your surroundings and mask when your surroundings and work culture change every 3 months. I still prefer this job over working a permanent position for now, but am learning how to navigate with a new understanding of myself.

Edit: Happy Birthday, Jonn!

 

[Jonn]

While I’ve never fit in, it is far more difficult to figure out and learn how to imitate your surroundings and mask when your surroundings and work culture change every 3 months.

I was going to say that a lot of Aspies don't like the changes/uncertainties of travel. I don't, but I have met others who do. "If you meet one autist, you meet one autist", I guess.

 

[Keena]

I was going to say that a lot of Aspies don't like the changes/uncertainties of travel. I don't, but I have met others who do. "If you meet one autist, you meet one autist", I guess.

I moved around a lot as a kid so I suppose I got...maybe not used to it but familiar with it. I do like travel for fun quite a bit. And there are positives to travel nursing which somewhat outweigh the negatives. The pay is far better. And I don’t stay in one place to long, so the frustration I tend to consistently feel about not fitting in with people at work (which is constant—I am left out in every workplace I’ve been a part of) is pretty much alleviated when you’re not a permanent part of that workplace to begin with.

 

[zozie]

Hi all,

Well, this is ... here we go. I've taken the tests. The first time I took the AQ it was 40. The second time it was 45. I'll take the lower number, just to be sure I'm not influenced by confirmation bias.

I am a single mother of two teenagers. Also a survivor of complex trauma. Figured it was the trauma that made me so weird, until I started looking at myself before the trauma happened. Age 8, my favorite fantasy was being a hermit. It was a vocational aspiration, really. I still think about it sometimes. Just me in my head and living off the land.

Frequently labeled as "the weirdo." Lost track of how many times people called me intense. Acute sense of justice. Androgynous, though I spent most of my childhood wishing I was a boy (could stand to pee, though there's a device for that now, I hear).

I didn't realize how much of my energy has gone to masking. When the lines between autism and trauma blur, how do you know why you do what you do? All you really know is survival. Been a neat trick to tease the two apart enough to understand what is trauma and what is ND. Thank god for good therapy, but it has only brought me so far. I have a very high pain tolerance. It blows my mind to imagine people living their lives NOT in perpetual discomfort.

A few tells:

A friend asked me some years ago "Is there ever going to be a day go by that you *don't* talk about ____?" I had not realized I had been obsessing, so determined not to talk about ____ the next day. Started counting the days I was quiet on my favorite subject, just to be more normal.

I'm currently waiting on a decision for my second round at Voc Rehab. The first went well enough, until I transitioned from schooling to employment. That's when things fell apart, though I gave it my best. I really did. I dream of self-sufficiency.

Don't mess with my routine. That's just rude and I will have a rage response I will end up being ashamed of later. So please don't.

If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask. Honesty is my way of showing respect.

Please don't ask me to lie. I won't do it. There is no such thing as a small lie.

Patterns, patterns everywhere.

Just because I don't cry in public, outwardly show pain, hug you, or ask you how your day is, doesn't mean I don't care. It means I am extremely anxious to be vulnerable in social situations, perceive showing pain as weakness, am very sensitive to touch, and am waiting for you to share how your day is. If you don't want to, why would I pry? It's not disinterest. It's giving space.

That is a frown of concentration. I am not angry; I'm listening.

Maybe one day I'll have friends I actually see. I have two friends now, and we communicate through texting platforms. Won't even get into my (absent) dating life. Actually, I do have a friend I see every few months. We go out for lunch or on a hike.

I am most comfortable (which is not very) socializing around tasks. Work. Class assignment. Or if I'm teaching something and I'm well-prepared.

You might think I'm stubborn, but I find safety in absolutes. I'm just trying to be safe.

"I didn't really mean it" is the surest way to frighten me.

I don't understand most of what's going on. Or, maybe I do but it's at a level that NTs will consistently deny. I'm torn on this one.

Extremely visual processing. People will talk to me and what they're saying will show up in my brain as visual metaphor. Example:

NT person: "Yeah, I'm sorta tired today, bit worried about the future with covid and all..."
Me: *sees mental image of that person trying to ride a bike with flat tires up a hill with throngs of monsters and brambles on every side.* "Like there's danger from all sides, and you're riding a bike with flat tires up a hill?"
NT: "OMG are you PSYCHIC? That's exactly how I feel!!! You're an empath! You're gifted! You are amazing!"
Me *wonders what heck is going on, confused by the strong response, questions existence and reality for the nth time* *reaffirms that this is why talking to people is so unpleasant* *has no idea how to respond to the person now*

In some social situations, I am lively, engaged, make a lot of eye contact, use dramatic inflection, laugh a lot, and am told I am a great storyteller and a great listener. Very empathetic, I'm told, though I wonder now if my "non-judgmental" trait is really just detached problem solving. I mean I do care, but.

I am terrified, TERRIFIED, of human resources. I. do. not. understand. There seems to be an ungodly commitment to passive language and indirect solutions to what look like glaringly obvious problems. Never met such a conflict-averse bunch in my life.

So, I'm thinking that it's not just trauma. And also I was convinced I was from another planet a few years ago, which is the closest I've come to feeling comfortable existing here.

Yeah, a longer intro than I had intended. My apologies.

 

[Isadoorian]

Hi all,

Well, this is ... here we go. I've taken the tests. The first time I took the AQ it was 40. The second time it was 45. I'll take the lower number, just to be sure I'm not influenced by confirmation bias.

I am a single mother of two teenagers. Also a survivor of complex trauma. Figured it was the trauma that made me so weird, until I started looking at myself before the trauma happened. Age 8, my favorite fantasy was being a hermit. It was a vocational aspiration, really. I still think about it sometimes. Just me in my head and living off the land.

Frequently labeled as "the weirdo." Lost track of how many times people called me intense. Acute sense of justice. Androgynous, though I spent most of my childhood wishing I was a boy (could stand to pee, though there's a device for that now, I hear).

I didn't realize how much of my energy has gone to masking. When the lines between autism and trauma blur, how do you know why you do what you do? All you really know is survival. Been a neat trick to tease the two apart enough to understand what is trauma and what is ND. Thank god for good therapy, but it has only brought me so far. I have a very high pain tolerance. It blows my mind to imagine people living their lives NOT in perpetual discomfort.

A few tells:

A friend asked me some years ago "Is there ever going to be a day go by that you *don't* talk about ____?" I had not realized I had been obsessing, so determined not to talk about ____ the next day. Started counting the days I was quiet on my favorite subject, just to be more normal.

I'm currently waiting on a decision for my second round at Voc Rehab. The first went well enough, until I transitioned from schooling to employment. That's when things fell apart, though I gave it my best. I really did. I dream of self-sufficiency.

Don't mess with my routine. That's just rude and I will have a rage response I will end up being ashamed of later. So please don't.

If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask. Honesty is my way of showing respect.

Please don't ask me to lie. I won't do it. There is no such thing as a small lie.

Patterns, patterns everywhere.

Just because I don't cry in public, outwardly show pain, hug you, or ask you how your day is, doesn't mean I don't care. It means I am extremely anxious to be vulnerable in social situations, perceive showing pain as weakness, am very sensitive to touch, and am waiting for you to share how your day is. If you don't want to, why would I pry? It's not disinterest. It's giving space.

That is a frown of concentration. I am not angry; I'm listening.

Maybe one day I'll have friends I actually see. I have two friends now, and we communicate through texting platforms. Won't even get into my (absent) dating life. Actually, I do have a friend I see every few months. We go out for lunch or on a hike.

I am most comfortable (which is not very) socializing around tasks. Work. Class assignment. Or if I'm teaching something and I'm well-prepared.

You might think I'm stubborn, but I find safety in absolutes. I'm just trying to be safe.

"I didn't really mean it" is the surest way to frighten me.

I don't understand most of what's going on. Or, maybe I do but it's at a level that NTs will consistently deny. I'm torn on this one.

Extremely visual processing. People will talk to me and what they're saying will show up in my brain as visual metaphor. Example:

NT person: "Yeah, I'm sorta tired today, bit worried about the future with covid and all..."
Me: *sees mental image of that person trying to ride a bike with flat tires up a hill with throngs of monsters and brambles on every side.* "Like there's danger from all sides, and you're riding a bike with flat tires up a hill?"
NT: "OMG are you PSYCHIC? That's exactly how I feel!!! You're an empath! You're gifted! You are amazing!"
Me *wonders what heck is going on, confused by the strong response, questions existence and reality for the nth time* *reaffirms that this is why talking to people is so unpleasant* *has no idea how to respond to the person now*

In some social situations, I am lively, engaged, make a lot of eye contact, use dramatic inflection, laugh a lot, and am told I am a great storyteller and a great listener. Very empathetic, I'm told, though I wonder now if my "non-judgmental" trait is really just detached problem solving. I mean I do care, but.

I am terrified, TERRIFIED, of human resources. I. do. not. understand. There seems to be an ungodly commitment to passive language and indirect solutions to what look like glaringly obvious problems. Never met such a conflict-averse bunch in my life.

So, I'm thinking that it's not just trauma. And also I was convinced I was from another planet a few years ago, which is the closest I've come to feeling comfortable existing here.

Yeah, a longer intro than I had intended. My apologies.

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process