Don't Understand Office Christmas Parties (and Pushy Colleagues Pressuring Me to Attend)

[SDRSpark]

l was afraid to go because l knew l was going to get lost. Sure enough, l was anxious at xmas party due to what everyone stated here, (noise, eg.) then left party and was lost for an hour and a half. Next year if still working there, l will simply state, sorry, can't go, l always get lost. Also l was feeling pressure to drive someone who l defintely don't like. l adulted up and asked her not to put her hands on me finally. There was a lot of baggage around this party. lol.

I like "sorry, I can't go, I have a prior commitment". (Your prior commitment is your sofa and your favorite TV show, but they don't have to know that!)

One thing I've learned over the years is that pretty consistently, if you give a reason that they can poke holes in at all, they will. So if you say you're doing X, they'll ask if you can reschedule X. Or try to find some way around it. "I have a prior commitment" is both solid, and doesn't give enough information for them to try to wiggle around it.

 

[kzen]

There's also the excuse, I forgot.

Why didn't you make the Christmas Party? I forgot...

 

[Aspychata]

I like "sorry, I can't go, I have a prior commitment". (Your prior commitment is your sofa and your favorite TV show, but they don't have to know that!)

One thing I've learned over the years is that pretty consistently, if you give a reason that they can poke holes in at all, they will. So if you say you're doing X, they'll ask if you can reschedule X. Or try to find some way around it. "I have a prior commitment" is both solid, and doesn't give enough information for them to try to wiggle around it.

This reaffirms we need to be strong in our boundaries. We need to state our boundaries. No wiggles, no wiggle worms, no wiggle room. This morphed into Dr Suess. That author should have done a book of Dr Suess and the Boundary Breakers. lol

 

[Soleil]

This reaffirms we need to be strong in our boundaries. We need to state our boundaries. No wiggles, no wiggle worms, no wiggle room. This morphed into Dr Suess. That author should have done a book of Dr Suess and the Boundary Breakers. lol

I think people tend to feel guilty about setting boundaries. Like I'm letting someone down or disappointing them by not bending over backwards for them.

 

[Magna]

I wore earplugs to the Christmas party at work last year because I was so overwhelmed by the many simultaneous conversations, the bellows and cackles that grew louder as people drank in the office conference room. That was before I disclosed my autism. Then as of March 2020 I asked for and was granted permanent work from home status. They still had an office party this year a few weeks back on a Friday. I don't work Fridays so I was gleeful that I didn't have to attend.

 

[Aspychata]

I think people tend to feel guilty about setting boundaries. Like I'm letting someone down or disappointing them by not bending over backwards for them.

But l will take disappointment over someone playing games with me. l have more respect for the person. We do disappoint because it's not a perfect world. We grow as people as soon as we state our boundaries. We end up respecting ourselves more, trusting our emotions more. This to me represents maturity. Ultimately- you find peace within as you start doing this.

 

[Progster]

I don't know why people pressure you when you specifically tell them you're not interested.

I think that they do this for mainly selfish reasons. They like and feel comfort with conformity, and like everything to fit inside a box. When a person wants to do something different that doesn't conform to how they think it should be, they don't like it. It makes them feel anxious, insecure, or even threatened. It's all about them, not about you.