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Dress Code

"appropriate attire required"

I don't comprehend 'style' at all, so dress codes are utterly alien (or should that be human?) to me.
Four years ago a friend (not anymore) took me clothes shopping as she was fed up with how scruffy I looked all the time; she made me try on lots of casual stuff & I came away over £300 poorer, but with a 'template' of casual wear I could copy & a basic understanding of clothes sizes. Then she took me to get a haircut - first one in 20 years.. I didn't know what to do with all that hair, so I just ignored it, ho hum.
Turns out I have a size 30" waist & 38"/medium chest, which explains why 36" jeans & XXXl T-shirts apparently make me look scruffy.. who knew, right? I just thought everyone else rolled out of bed looking the way they do & I was just the unfortunate 'mutant' poor cousin, or something. Also, I can't believe how often I have to cut my hair; does the stuff never stop growing?
Wonder why no-one ever showed me this stuff before?
Pub & Nightclub dress codes? If I got into one of those places I was lucky! How am I supposed to know what to wear? Sometimes it's jeans, sometimes only trousers, sometimes you have to wear a tie, yet there's no sign, no instructions, yet everyone else seems to know automatically! I walked miles home, alone, in my college days, when everyone I was with got in & I was turned away.. haven't bothered with those kinds of places for years..
Odd, Earthling customs :confused:
 

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