Dwelling on mistakes made in the past

[Karl1990]

This is something that has troubled me throughout my young adult life. Has this led to breakdowns, panic attacks or self mutilation for anyone else? I will remember exact details from, say, teasing in high school and it will bother me so much that it will lead to a full on panic attack even though the incident should not matter to me anymore.

 

[Geordie]

I had breakdowns in High School, which I could not get over with.

 

[Karl1990]

Would you ever get so frustrated that you would hit yourself?

 

[Karl1990]

Did you ever hit yourself?


it feels like i posted this question earlier but it never got approved?

 

[Arashi222]

I never forget things I've done I often ruminate on things I've said or acted on or reacted too over and over usually social issues. But sometimes its other things. I just tend to worry so much about what others think or will think of what I have done or not done and should i have done.

 

[Simply a Bibliophile]

I definitely have this problem, although instead of letting the mental movie start, for the past several days what I've imagined is myself slamming a door and locking it, and then I move onto something else (always a changing something else, because otherwise I get tripped up and the neurons will work the other way) such as drawing or viola pieces or anything, really.

It's a constant problem, though, and it's hard to work through. Again, it makes me feel a little bit better about it knowing that others on the spectrum have this problem.

@Murakumo, I do the same thing.

 

[Geordie]

Would you ever get so frustrated that you would hit yourself?

Yes. I remembering banging my head repeatedly out of frustration.

Fortunately, my parents and siblings stopped me, somehow, from doing so.

 

[Bobbert48]

One of the common idiosyncracies that plagues people with autism spectrum disorders is an unrealistic double standard that we establish for ourselves and for others. While others are allowed to exhibit faults and frailties, we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards at all times. We (all) must learn to let things pass and stop flagellating ourselves for every faux pas that we can bring to mind. It MUST be remembered that all of our behaviors are predicated on the prospect of a positive personal gain - that is to say that we choose the behavior that is deemed most appropriate for us at the time.

We do the best that we can within the options of the best resources available to us at the time.

 

[Aalo]

Dwelling won't take me anywhere. For me it's essentially important to know well situations I come from so that I can learn from the past. I might have strong opinions on how important knowing the past is, there's no use on letting mistakes nor fortunate occurrences slip away without a thought, and about what kind of thought is relevant and valuable. People have so limited capacity trying to handle information that most things, like dwelling (both in misery and in happiness already lost) has to be filtered off. After all we all live now, for the future.

 

[Larisa]

I have quite a lot of memories from my childhood and on.
I divided them in 'sections' like 'parents', 'attampts to make friends', 'school' and other. Then I went to psychologist I tried my best to get thtough them with support of a specialist I learned to trust.
My memories were so much intense at first that I had to block them from leaking into my mind by active thinking about my interests.
There were my feeling and didn't even realized them: some memories were groupped with 'fear', or
'guilt', or 'hope', or - the most of them - by 'puzzlement'.
As I started to work with listening to my memories I noticed them changing and I felt a chill.
Then I read some psychology article about every memory is naturally subjective (not objective as I had belived before that).
I analyzed the course of changes to my memories at work and I realized that I started to recall some real details of the situations. Before that it was just too painful to remember everything - but after I started to get use to the pain from this particular memory, I managed 'to see more clearly'.

I think it's acute perception of aspies that makes ordinary (for NT) situations so sharply hurtful and confusing and thus gives this mild and multiple post traumatic stress disoders (as I decided to call it in regards to me).

 

[pineman93]

i wish i was smarter or had better social skills to keep in touch with a friend from elementary school

 

[pineman93]

I had breakdowns in High School, which I could not get over with.

I had a big break down in both middle school and high school