@ epath13: You seem to have a definition of equality that is somewhat skewered. Earning an income (even if it is the same as your husband's) is not what makes you, as a woman, 'equal to' a man. That only means that you are earning income. The old 'bread-winner rules the roost' attitude is rapidly going the way of the shoe button hook in North America. For a while, equal meant being able to do exactly what men did because they set the standards & they viewed their position & sex as the loftier & valued one. Most religions (in their more conservative forms) promote this as some kind of warped 'ideal' today. Women entering into marriage in these religions are expected to be obedient & submissive & the husband becomes so-called 'head' of the household & a leader in all things.
I am a grown adult & while a partner in life is nice, if I needed a leader I'd move to North Korea & Kim Jong-Un. As for a head, I already have one. This offensive term comes from a historical belief that as the weaker sex, we were incapable of reasonable, rational thought: our 'female parts' rendered us prone to hysteria (& other weaknesses).
Without launching into a protracted history lecture, the 1900s brought the notion that woman can do anything a man could. Funny, the reverse was never even considered since we women were considered only good for trivial menial tasks so what man would want to 'lower' himself into doing.
The entire notion that the ability to do 'what men do' or be just like them is being seriously deconstructed as the implications of this are offensive on many levels. This trend paralleled the movement towards racial equality as well. At first, for blacks too had been brainwashed into thinking that 'equality' meant 'as much the same as' white people. White society decided what one should look like, what clothing, hairstyles, ways of speaking & everything else about a person, was to be 'valued', normal & legitimized. Women were written out of history with few exceptions (ALL of whom were in traditionally male roles & the same was true for non-whites). In the 70s, BOTH black people in the USA & White women began asking important questions. Blacks began, for the first time, seeing the beauty in & appreciating their natural hair textures from afros to curls for example & most stopped striving to lighten their skin (again, there are some hold-outs).
White female academics, psychologists & sociologists began asking why do male roles define what is of value? Motherhood, raising children & caring for a household ARE hard work, ARE demanding of the intellect & judgement, society (and many HUSBANDS) depended on these women, for centuries, to prop them & their careers up. So many women were right there farming beside their husbands THEN had to go inside & do everything for the kids & the house while the 'Bread Winner' sat on his @$$ & waited for dinner to be served, the dishes to be removed & the kids to be sent off to bed. These academics began digging up women's history (herstory) & raising society's awareness of the importance of what women do outside of the traditionally male workforce.
Today, I think the # of 'stay at home' dads has shot up to 30%. Approx 50% of all medical grads are now female. Men are becoming nurses & nannies (mannies) & daycare workers (one of the finest I ever met is a man with 30 yrs experience!). Another problem with the delusion that whomever earns the most money is the most valued & important is this: who makes more money a neurosurgeon or Madonna? Who earns the most money: a supermodel or a coal miner who risks his life daily? Who earns more: the president of the USA or a Mafia Don? A drug czar (or czarina- these exist too!) will earn more next week that your doctor will over the next 6 months. Clearly, the ability to earn money should not be the determining trait of whom society values.
Many women earning incomes fast learned that this did not render them equals in the home. Their husbands & male partners continues to be domineering, controlling, abusive in many cases or (most commonly) expected the wife to do BOTH the bread-winning AND the bread-baking, serving & cleaning up after. Women in most households wound up drained, depressed & with 2 jobs! Among younger men, many can cook, clean, iron & handle a baby or child admirably well. Progress IS being made & guys are learning that when they get off their @$$es at home, they are NOT pitching in or 'helping out' as if they are generously assisting an overwhelmed woman with what ought to be HER tasks: they are growing up & being competent well-rounded adults who pull their own weight.
When the woman 'stays at home', that no longer has to mean that the 1800s are back & all home tasks are hers by default. HE gets to work from 9-5: why does SHE work 24/7? Young couples need to seriously discuss & plan divisions of labour & the way the home will be run BEFORE saying I DO or run the risk of finding themselves very dissatisfied: her for being turned into a drudge & a subservient & him for not thinking he should have to do anything more than 9-5 & expecting to control everything & be served hand & foot.
The old (& rather dumb & impossible) conception of 'equality' meaning 'the same as' is giving way to a more balanced notion of EQUITY. An example is maternity leave AND paternity leave: after all, women do not make these babies alone. Trying to achieve pay equity means that work of EQUAL VALUE should be am equitable pay scale. There is a lot of work to be done here but as more jobs see more women & men doing similar tasks, pay equity will slowly ensue. Also misogynistic religious interpretations need to be swept into the dustbin of history. When I think of displays of extreme poor judgement, many of the worst offenders are male (think of those Jack Ass movies...). Also, most horrific acts committed by people emotionally 'off the rails' & 'out of control' are committed by males. Here, though, as gender equality augments, more violent gun-toting mad women will emerge from the wood-work too as the Victorian pressure to be 'lady-like' fades.
I don't know if this is the kind of response you were seeking, but it's what I could come up with (& my head is foggy from antibiotics today). I hope it does give you some food for thought.
) we shouldn't expect but discuss and agree to do certain things. If, lets say, in a heterosexual family, a men and a woman work, they both should participate on the amount of time they spend cleaning and cooking and stuff. Men and women shouldn't be expected to do certain jobs ether. Etc it's pretty much going there, but I think sometimes women and men still expect certail gender related "standards" from each other. Just one more thing I want to add in the end 
