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Escape part 1

I'm not sure if this is self-harm or if family members did this, but I do think you need to go to someone and see about getting some help.
 
I did this. Scratched it up because i was outside in the rain after maddog drove me to yet another breaking point. It was me.
 
Also the "escape" part isn't referring to escaping then anymore. I'm escaping life.
 
@UberScout, if you're in the States, I want you to call this number: 988.

It's the suicide prevention hotline. Someone there can help you.

Write back to this thread and tell us what's going on, ok? I want to hear back from you.
 
GypsyMoth said:
@UberScout, if you're in the States, I want you to call this number: 988.

It's the suicide prevention hotline. Someone there can help you.

Write back to this thread and tell us what's going on, ok? I want to hear back from you.
Click to expand...
Last time i called that crappy number i was on hold for what ran up to 20 minutes. If i have to wait that long or more to have someone tell me the same crap i always hear then it's a waste of my time.

What's going on: God gave me autism because he hates my soul and wants me to suffer and if he didn't he would have answered my 400+ prayers i've sent him. He's no different than my birth father who left me and disppeared off the face of the earth. Seems about right for who i am.
 
UberScout said:
Last time i called that crappy number i was on hold for what ran up to 20 minutes. If i have to wait that long or more to have someone tell me the same crap i always hear then it's a waste of my time.

What's going on: God gave me autism because he hates my soul and wants me to suffer and if he didn't he would have answered my 400+ prayers i've sent him. He's no different than my birth father who left me and disppeared off the face of the earth. Seems about right for who i am.
Click to expand...
All right, tell me more. What else is going on?
 
GypsyMoth said:
All right, tell me more. What else is going on?
Click to expand...
My mother somehow never knows how to comprehend what i tell her about the problems my autism gives me and when i tell her about maddog doing things to exacerbate me being escalated and antagonize me even more, she just asks "well what do you want me to do?!" The last time she said this i just screamed at her "YOU KNOW WHAT? NOTHING! DON'T DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT I'LL JUST SIT IN MY ROOM AND ESCALATE TILL I PASS OUT!!!" I didn't speak to anyone the whole day and went to bed in complete silence. Then this morning Maddog put me out in a downpour of rain just pummeling down outside and i didn't even fight him. I just sat on the sidewalk in a curled up ball crying hard as i could until my mom got home. I was soaking wet and a shouting match between the WHOLE HOUSE, my sister included (she's thirteen!!!) Broke out. When it was done my mom asked her if she was okay.

She said no, she wasn't. She has NEVER said that before. NEVER IN HER LIFE. AND SHE'S THIRTEEN.

The sounds she made crying were unlike anything i've heard coming from a girl her age. It didn't even sound like a human being crying. It sounded like a ghost that couldn't find their way and just sat there and cried.

God...Jesus... Being a christian.... All that crap is out the window now. I don't care what happens to me when i die anymore. Heaven? Cool. Hell? Whatever. Wander the earth as a ghost for eternity? That's even better because that way i can spend all of eternity haunting my mother and Maddog wherever they go, and i will NEVER let go of them AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE THEM ALONE. I'LL TEACH THEM AN ETERNAL LESSON IN DISCORD THAT WILL BURN INTO THEIR MINDS FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL THEY ARE BONES IN THE GROUND. AND EVEN THEN MY TORMENT WILL NEVER END.

I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE.
 
What about Aloe?
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@UberScout, I am sorry to hear that your mother does not stand up for you as a parent should. I want you to know that life does get better. Parents can be idiots.
 
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