Escape part 1

[GypsyMoth]

Who do you have in your immediate circle of friends and family that you can talk with?

 

[GypsyMoth]

Face to face, I mean, not through a cell phone or a computer?

 

[UberScout]

@UberScout, I am sorry to hear that your mother does not stand up for you as a parent should. I want you to know that life does get better. Parents can be idiots.

(Healed a little bit.) It's not really that. She does stand up for me and yells at Maddog for some of the things he does toward me. She just doesn't like, she doesn't throw the book, she just bangs the gavel, if that makes sense.

 

[UberScout]

Who do you have in your immediate circle of friends and family that you can talk with?

List of immediate friends and family i can talk to:

 

[GypsyMoth]

@UberScout, sometimes we need to adopt our own family members.

Who at school do you trust? A friend, a teacher, the parent of a friend. Go to this person and ask them if they can talk with you. When you ask them this, tell them you are going through some trouble. They will be more inclined to listen than to brush you off.

(I don't know why adults are like that but they are. Giving them some context helps them prioritize the need to listen.)

 

[GypsyMoth]

(Healed a little bit.) It's not really that. She does stand up for me and yells at Maddog for some of the things he does toward me. She just doesn't like, she doesn't throw the book, she just bangs the gavel, if that makes sense.

That makes total sense.

 

[UberScout]

@UberScout, sometimes we need to adopt our own family members.

Who at school do you trust? A friend, a teacher, the parent of a friend. Go to this person and ask them if they can talk with you. When you ask them this, tell them you are going through some trouble. They will be more inclined to listen than to brush you off.

(I don't know why adults are like that but they are. Giving them some context helps them prioritize the need to listen.)

I don't go to school. That's just a prison kids have to go to everyday to learn what society truly is like.

And i have given context, it never changes anything and it never helps my case. It just prolongs me getting punished for no good reason.

 

[Aspychata]

Your step-father is a complete jerk. I think your mom feels helpless herself. Females that are in abusive situations often become battered and subjected to learn helplessness. It's where they are kept in constant chaos and they feel there is no way out. You also may be battered. Please look up battered syndrome and see if it applies to how you feel. When l read it, l realized l had all the responses quoted. It helped a lot in understanding more about myself. Your sister should be there for you but she also may be battered.

You need to get a key to the place and hide it outside . Next time Maddog leaves, get a copy. It can save you from a meltdown.

Sorry to hear you struggling right now.

 

[Aspychata]

I truly think you need to tell your idiot father, when you are abusive to me, you are being horrible father. Just because your father was abusive to you doesn't mean it's right to abuse me. Stop doing it. Stop gaslighting me by locking me outside. That's a dxxk move. Act like an adult. Work on your anger issues, l am not your scapegoat when things don't go right for you. You need to call him on his shittikake. Tell him that emotionally abusing you means he is a coward. Instead of talking to you like an adult. It's a bad pattern that he has you locked in. And it's wrong.

It's better to discuss this if you two go out, because the house is no longer neutral place, it's a toxic place. Plus if you discuss this in a public place, you cut down on his chances of reverting to bully abusive behavior. When he yells at you, tell him that's emotional abuse, and go into your room and close the door. You will have to repeat this over and over like a broken record until he gets it. It could be a month, it could be a year. Just start saying , you are emotionally abusing me. Stop being a bully. Then leave the situation to show that you won't contribute to the emeshment of toxic behavior anymore. You also have to not feed him by arguing back. The minute he starts to go there. Leave the situation. Go to the bathroom, your bedroom. Refuse to engage in his bully fight fest with you. It's going take a lot of courage and patience on your part. BUT it's better then what you are currently going thru. When he does respond appropriately, tell him you like this new him. You like it when he doesn't revert to abusive behavior. Tell everyone , the house feels better, when people don't yell in it. You need to be the catalyst for change. Believe me, it won't be easy but go for it anyways. Don't feed into the toxic behavior anymore. You deserve to be treated respectfully as the adult you are.

 

[Jordy]

Are there no social services for these issues in the US? It seems like the only solution is for uberscout to be permanently removed from the house and go somewhere where he is taken care of. In the Netherlands we have countless institutions that deal with this, groups, supported housing etc.

 

[GypsyMoth]

Are there no social services for these issues in the US? It seems like the only solution is for uberscout to be permanently removed from the house and go somewhere where he is taken care of. In the Netherlands we have countless institutions that deal with this, groups, supported housing etc.

See my PM to you.

 

[UberScout]

.

Why is phantom still trying to get to see DSS?! I thought i told him those people ruined my life!! Is he not breaking a rule of the site or something, trying to make me make permanent decisions in my life not knowing what they would lead to?! I mean i'm not claiming to be an expert on anything but damn it I thought some people like phantom had some kind of decency!!

 

[Aspychata]

Why is phantom still trying to get to see DSS?! I thought i told him those people ruined my life!! Is he not breaking a rule of the site or something, trying to make me make permanent decisions in my life not knowing what they would lead to?! I mean i'm not claiming to be an expert on anything but damn it I thought some people like phantom had some kind of decency!!

You only have to do what you feel comfortable doing. Maybe he just didn't realize this about you. He is trying to handle his own issues also. I am sure he was just trying to be helpful.

 

[UberScout]

You only have to do what you feel comfortable doing. Maybe he just didn't realize this about you. He is trying to handle his own issues also. I am sure he was just trying to be helpful.

Well, he's said some pretty unnecessary things that i did not appreciate, and he KNEW it was wrong to do so. I may not have told him everything but that doesn't/shouldn't matter when it comes to having to constantly look over my shoulder every day of my life! As far as i'm concerned phantom is just another reason for me not to trust society in person; if he's going to think the way he's thinking then the percentage of people who are the same way is just as bad in volume as it is from one person.

I might not know what someone else is going through but I know when someone is trying to pxss me off. Just like Voltaic said i'm delusional in the past. Sorry, phantom, but you and i are separated by a very wide cliff.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes you have to ignore certain members here. I use that here because members don't quite understand how their posts can make us feel.

 

[UberScout]

Sometimes you have to ignore certain members here. I use that here because members don't quite understand how their posts can make us feel.

Ignoring them might make  future commentary disappear, but i have the memory of an elephant and I NEVER forget wrongdoings toward me. That way, I know exactly how to separate friends from enemies.

 

[Aspychata]

You have to do you. I have learned to forgive, it took along time, but people make mistakes. Good people make mistakes. But you should only only forgive if you chose to.

 

[Jordy]

Really?