• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Etiquette or “proper” manners you dislike

NTs should be medicated. :)

They usually are at parties, aren't they? Booze, Prozac,Valium, Sugar buzz, whatever's in the brownies, the list goes on.....

I didn't mind it so much as a kid. I could play in the kitchen at the kid's table or under the table with the dog. Another very stressful part is all the long distance travel. The highways aren't bad on turkey day, with most people already being where ever they are eating, but there's no way we're going to be on the road Thanksgiving Eve or Black Friday. People are crazy! Could it be they just don't want to get to their traditionally stressful family ritual?
 
My paternal grandparents were/are litteral hippies. So things are pretty relaxed at family get-togethers between them, my dad and his two brothers. They're all bikers as well. Really you can just grab a plate fill it any time and go sit on the floor if you want. Everyone is polite to each other, but there's no ritual or ceremony involved. It's a pretty good setting for someone like me. No pressure and good vibes.
 
I hate the expectation to participate in small talk with family members and friends that you don’t know.


Also being expected to hang out with the family the whole time you are visiting is really difficult for me. Auto travel always overloads me so by the time we get to where we are traveling, I need a good 2 days to recover which I don’t have the luxury of doing.
 
Having to call MA instructors "Sir" or "Sensei" in Japanese.

I know it's purely a formality, but I'd rather be on first names terms with my instructor, he's a nice enougn bloke.
 
I think a lot of proper manners things are probably primitive in origin. Or something established by snobby elitists. Or the military. Sit up. elbows off table. Cover your mouth while yawning. Must take hat off while indoors. Shake hands. Maintain eye contact etc etc.

Many are subjective to what part of the world one is in. In some parts touching others not family or close friends is considered rude. so no hand shaking, back slapping, ruffling the hair of children etc.

One of the compulsory things I hate the most is the constant daily people saying "good morning". Thankfully people do not feel compelled to go around saying "good afternoon" and "good evening" as well. But in school and elsewhere until noon it's "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning" "good morning".... but it's bad manners for me to start tearing my hair out and telling them to go blank themselves.
 
Last edited:
Where I live, it is common practice to shake hands when you meet someone. I know it’s a polite and respectful thing to do, but I hate doing it. Everywhere does it. And if you’re on better familiarity, kisses on the cheek. Usually three.
 
Where I live, it is common practice to shake hands when you meet someone. I know it’s a polite and respectful thing to do, but I hate doing it. Everywhere does it. And if you’re on better familiarity, kisses on the cheek. Usually three.

That's "French kissing", left cheek, right cheek then left again.
 
That's "French kissing", left cheek, right cheek then left again.

Yeah, I know. I just know that people do that here, I’ve had it done to me and I feel despite the cultural norm to do it that it’s an invasion to my personal space.
 
Kissing people on the cheek 3 (!) times upon arriving and leaving. I don't like touching people I don't know very well. People who know me, know this about me and will omit or hug me (which is a little better). Perhaps I should move countries.
 
Parents telling kids they should eat everything on their plate. Sometimes it's because the parents didn't have much to eat when they were kids, but in North America it's generally just seen as rude and wasteful. Kids can't usually eat that much, and it contributes to childhood obesity.
 
Parents telling kids they should eat everything on their plate. Sometimes it's because the parents didn't have much to eat when they were kids, but in North America it's generally just seen as rude and wasteful. Kids can't usually eat that much, and it contributes to childhood obesity.
Yes - it's better to give them less, and tell them that they can have more if they want it.
 
Tipping. Where I live tipping is not that big of a deal, but If I go to a restaurant alone and pay for whatever I eat, I never know how much I'm supposed to tip the server. I've only eaten by myself in a non-fast-food restaurant once in a blue moon anyway because the food is so expensive, and usually I just order the dessert.

But the US is crazy! They want you to tip everyone!! Even if you got really terrible service you're expected to give them a tip, even if it's not much. I only know that 10% is not a big tip because of that Weird Al Song "Young Dumb and Ugly", where he sings about a gang whose idea of dangerous and rebellious behavior are things like squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle, not always returning their shopping carts, and leaving only a 10% tip.:laughing:

But I heard that in Japan, they think tipping someone is very rude, which just goes to show how different cultures are.
 
A big part of me would like to tell all these politness rules to take a hike.
Another small part of me finds it interesting to see, for example, how the Royal families behave and their etiquette rules. Just curiosity maybe.
My extremes in action:D
 
Holding silverware like a pencil. I hold mine like a screwdriver because I get more leverage and control. Only had one significant other complain about it though.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom