Explosive Anger Meltdowns

[DocBee]

I can’t even imagine. I’ve noticed that a lot of people on the forum don’t know what a meltdown is. They think it’s just extreme anxiety, stress, maybe crying. It’s not. You completely and totally lose all emotional control.

May I ask what yours are like, specifically? There really isn’t too much info online about meltdowns in autistic adults. It’s mostly all about kids. I mean specifically about how adults deal with them and such.

Wow, what a great question.

There's events leading up to them , usually job or relationship related where I was (a) lost because I didn't understand ASD at the time (just thought I was broken) (b) frustrated over miscommunication, lack of support from colleagues, friend or sig other that led to a trigger where everything just boils over. It's like an emotional tsunami and it isn't over until I'm wore out. I either rage into a phone or at someone in a way that I can only characterize as a significant loss of control. Never got physical.

My response after one of these events has been to get away and drink heavily.

After some therapy I realize I also have incorporated deep irrational beliefs (like I'm broken) into what I believe about myself. These are behind that wellspring of anger. I'm learning to change that and love myself again but it's tough(er) at a late stage in life. So many mistakes over so many decades.

Medication and counseling has been so helpful. I'm on an alcohol abstinence program. Self-awareness to know when I'm on the potential path to one is very helpful.

 

[tducey]

I don't have major league meltdowns but I do get overwhelmed from time to time. Happened today but things turned out fine after. Key is for me and hopefully others is to not lash out at others if possible.

 

[Aspychata]

I can't super angry because it doesn't get me anywhere. It's harder to stay neutral so l challenge myself to stay neutral, it's a mini-challenge. It's taken time but l seem to be a lot more relax interacting with the idiot population. Can't blame people for their screwed up ideas and you have to understand exactly the level of the person you are with. Some are just subhuman individuals and getting angry serves no purpose.

 

[Rasputin]

I can't super angry because it doesn't get me anywhere. It's harder to stay neutral so l challenge myself to stay neutral, it's a mini-challenge. It's taken time but l seem to be a lot more relax interacting with the idiot population. Can't blame people for their screwed up ideas and you have to understand exactly the level of the person you are with. Some are just subhuman individuals and getting angry serves no purpose.

I agree in principle, but what I am talking about is not a logical choice. When it happens it is not controllable, but in almost all cases one can tell in advance when a meltdown is coming on. So, it is important to recognize when a meltdown is coming on, and remove yourself from the stimulus.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

I've yelled and smashed things (not yelling at people but just cryin out like a goat). I think for alot of years special ed teachers and my mum thought it boiled down to asperger's related meltdowns (so i think sensory overload was what people came to believe)...and while that certainly could have been part of it, i'm not a person to get triggered by sensory things... i think for me it was related a lot also to social anxiety, depression and anxiety in general as well as getting stuck on what to say to people. But i hadn't been diagnosed with depression and anxiety until i was around 20. I think for me it was important to learn how to deal with these conditions but the thought never crossed my mum's/teachers or my mind to have it looked at by a doctor.

 

[dhl02]

I have always been a good provider and we rely on my income. Also I completed a Ph.D. in 2014, and she can not understand how someone with Asperger's could be successful working, publishing papers, and In defending a dissertation. I do not know how to respond to this other than to say there are many high functioning people with Asperger's. There are so many false, negative stereotypes that I am not able to disclose this to my employer.

I've tried both approaches and neither has worked. I have no idea what to do. I have panic attacks when I go for an interview without disclosing, so I tried disclosing to loosen up. Disclosing has had better results than not doing so, but in all cases I've been fired within 2-3 days on the job.

 

[sport]

I once in awhile have a meltdown as said before will try to walk away read or go to computer.My wife works with me try and settle me back down a lot better now then yrs ago.

 

[Michael Balog]

Last year I had a really bad explosive meltdown at a casino where I got real mad a was yelling at everyone I was with. I’m not going to a casino ever again cause it was awful.

 

[Aspychata]

I walk around with residual feelings and l can get upset. But more just mouthy. Like if you are going to screw with me,l may sting you verbally. But l have tried working on this.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I was wondering if anyone knew of any research articles or other resources that address coping mechanisms to avoid explosive meltdowns. It does not happen often, thankfully, but when it does it happens suddenly, with great intensity, and is generally uncontrollable. Most recently it was triggered by a breach of trust, loss of confidentiality and apparent collusion between two individuals that could have implicated me had I not become be aware of what was going on. My immediate response was to withdraw, but then this individual drew me into a meeting with someone in a position of authority. Then the individual who breached the trust commented he had a problem with me. I immediately experienced explosive, uncontrolled rage, and now will have to deal with the resulting fallout.

I have seen other adult aspies have more frequent, but less intense meltdowns. With me I always see things in black and white terms, and if my integrity is questioned or if my trust was violated all hell breaks loose.

I have not been formally diagnosed, but am 100% certain that I have Aspergers based on discussions I have had on this forum. I somehow made it to age 61like this, but for some reason it is becoming more difficult to mask as I get older.

I am not diagnosed, I went for a test and failed it.
I used to have meltdowns where I bit my wrist leaving a red mark that would go in (as far as I can remember) about a day, and bang my head on the wall, hit myself, the more stress, the more severe the self injury.
I failed to mention this to mental health teams for years they know now.
Now that I am under a lot of stress and seem to have problems I cannot find a solution to right now (been looking for ages) the meltdowns have got more severe.
I deliberately bang my head, being indifferent to whether it will cause injury, what used to be temporary red bite marks on my wrists are now deep scar tissue going further up my arm as I seem to want to rip chunks out of my arm, I draw blood, my arms are going to need plastic surgery if I carry on.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Here's what I read about meltdowns... An autistic meltdown is a complete loss of emotional control. Screaming, crying, yelling, and even kicking, hitting, biting,...this is what happens during a meltdown. If you think you may be building up to one or you fear that an upcoming event (such as the meeting you went to) may trigger one, try this: use a sensory "item" like a stress ball, go find a quiet space or room and sit in there with the lights off and stim, take a brisk 15-minute walk, and/or do push-ups (or anything that involves heavy work).

I've never had a meltdown before, because I've always been able to hold it together long enough to get home, dim the lights, sit on the floor, and rock (my stim), sometimes for hours. So, if you can stim and/or remove yourself from the situation, do it. Otherwise, you're probably not going to be able to stop the meltdown.

We also need to start telling our bosses that we're autistic. Seriously. Corporations these days are constantly harping on about diversity and how they want to accommodate employees with disabilities. You should have been able to tell those men that because of your disability, you could not go into the meeting with them at that moment. Employers can get into a lot of trouble for doing what was done to you if you make it known that you have special needs. Definitely go get an official diagnosis, because it can protect you in situations like this.

I agree, I had a meltdown in front of social workers once. I tried to tell them I was autistic but because I do not have a diagnosis I wasn't taken seriously. I also break property, my own, I forgot to mention this in my last post.
I also have taken to shouting made up words instead of hurting myself, this seems to dissipate the anger but I live in a flat so it gets the attention of neighbours.

 

[Rasputin]

I am not diagnosed, I went for a test and failed it.
I used to have meltdowns where I bit my wrist leaving a red mark that would go in (as far as I can remember) about a day, and bang my head on the wall, hit myself, the more stress, the more severe the self injury.
I failed to mention this to mental health teams for years they know now.
Now that I am under a lot of stress and seem to have problems I cannot find a solution to right now (been looking for ages) the meltdowns have got more severe.
I deliberately bang my head, being indifferent to whether it will cause injury, what used to be temporary red bite marks on my wrists are now deep scar tissue going further up my arm as I seem to want to rip chunks out of my arm, I draw blood, my arms are going to need plastic surgery if I carry on.

I have heard that it is not unusual for autistic indibiduals to fail a diagnostic assessment. After I posted my comments I met with a psychologist who could not determine anything. All she said was that "you are a tough nut to crack". Then I was referred to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me ASD1 w/ general anxiety disordee at our first meeting. It sounds like you need another assessment.