Extreme social anxiety caused by certain words or topics

[sportlover88]

For a long time, I have had anxiety which means that in social situations, I get anxious that if a certain word or topic is brought up, I may start shaking, have a fast-beating heart etc. triggered by certain words or topics, because of what I think people will infer if they see me reacting to them. Some of the topics/words relate to things that I do that there is nothing wrong with, but I don't want people to know. Some of them relate to things that I don't do which are bad things, but I'm worried that if I react when they're brought up, it will make people think that I do them. And some of them relate to things which don't apply to me and aren't bad, but because I was brought up to think they are bad, they still trigger me. It can be a living hell; it's also a problem if I am watching a film with other people and one of these words or topics comes up in the film and I'm worried that people will see me reacting.

To give one example of a trigger, I'm not gay (not that it matters either way) but when I was brought up, I was made to feel as though it was a terrible thing and I was worried that people would think I was gay, so I'd get very anxious (and am still triggered by this) if someone said the word gay or talked about that topic in front of me as I worried that people would think it means I'm gay, and this worry would make me feel more anxious and more likely to react.

I also worry that if I tried to explain the problem to anyone, they would draw inferences from why I'm triggered by these things, e.g. with the gay example, think that I'm homophobic (which I'm not) or with examples where it's about terrible things that I haven't actually done, I worry that if I explained it then people might suspect that it's because I have done those things.

I have both autism and social anxiety and I'm sure that the combination of these things must be causing it. Is anyone aware of anyone having similar issues and is there anything that I can do to stop this happening? At the moment, I try to avoid social situations where I think it's likely that any of the trigger things will be brought up, and if I'm watching a film with others, I try to persuade them to watch a film which I know, which doesn't have any of those things in it, but I don't explain that that's why I want to watch that film.

 

[Judge]

Have you ever explored this with a medical professional, such as a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist? They might be able to help you determine the origin of such reactions.

I have no such triggers when it comes to words or topics. However I can still relate, as mine are visual, most often when I exit a store and proceed to a congested parking lot where I don't necessarily see my car at distance. Causing me momentary, but terrible anxiety. It amounts to PTSD over having a car stolen many years ago. The origin of my OCD...as my doctor explained.

 

[Masked Man]

Keep in mind I can't diagnose you, but it sounds to me like you may be extremely sensitive to rejection. Being overly worried that people think you may be gay because presumably you were brought up to believe that being homosexual is wrong in some way therefore you are worried about social rejection from others, or, if this is how you were brought up, rejection from your caregivers. That can trigger a very old, deep-seated fear: banishment from the tribe, which would probably have led to starvation and the death of the ousted tribal member.

Childhood trauma can cause many deep wounds, especially when planted by caregivers. It's best to speak to a professional about these triggers and unravel them. You'll never get away from these triggers so best to figure out a healthy way to respond to them when you do have them.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I have no such triggers when it comes to words or topics.

Me too neither. My social anxiety just happens when people are around, or when I know I have to do something around people in the near future.

 

[Rachie]

This is seeming to me to becoming more common these days. For me its the news really which gives me an alert. I have more to get going and switch what I'm doing soon. For I really pulled around COVID about the news it all got too much for me with the nightly coming out an announcing then the hospital videos inside the hospitals and then decided to switch off when bad news followed and the TV remains off except usually for my smart TV for interests and learning. There are some topics I wouldn't enter into either.

Then this is happening with so called neurotypicals as well for more and more are walking away from a lot of what is being shown on the TV and the news is no loved by them after decades with an interest is now no longer tolderated the news. Now after decades will like react when he sees the news. The last election in the US was the final catalyst for him. It was such a big part of his watching it at home for hours.

Just be yourself and try and not worry about what other people think and just do your best and work on areas you yourself would to like to work on if you so choose.

 

[AutisticMilly]

I’m not a psychologist and I can’t diagnose you, but this sounds like sexual orientation OCD to me. With OCD, even things like certain words can be triggers. I would recommend you see an a therapist- even better if they are an OCD specialist. And, in the meantime, The OCD Stories is a great podcast that has some episodes specifically on the topic of sexual orientation OCD.

 

[Tom]

Have you ever explored this with a medical professional, such as a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist? They might be able to help you determine the origin of such reactions.

I have no such triggers when it comes to words or topics. However I can still relate, as mine are visual, most often when I exit a store and proceed to a congested parking lot where I don't necessarily see my car at distance. Causing me momentary, but terrible anxiety. It amounts to PTSD over having a car stolen many years ago. The origin of my OCD...as my doctor explained.

I have a very upsetting and recurring nightmare of having my car stolen. Must have had it 10 times. However I never had one stolen. But I did have 3 bicycles stolen when a kid. I guess the fear automatically upgrades as you age.

 

[Judge]

I have a very upsetting and recurring nightmare of having my car stolen. Must have had it 10 times. However I never had one stolen. But I did have 3 bicycles stolen when a kid. I guess the fear automatically upgrades as you age.

It happened at a point in my life when things were just starting to come together financially. The loss of that car became an instant financial hardship I could not quickly recover come. Plus in the same time frame I had multiple bad things happening that for some amount to "personal catastrophes".

It was a sad and bad period of my life.