Facial expressions

[Suzanne]

I have had a bit of an: ahhh haa moment lol

Had some visitors and was discussing aspergers with the lady.

As they were going and she said it was nice seeing me, I had the urge to ask if I had bored her? Going on etc, but refrained and then thought: oh, now I get it!

I can't read basic facial expressions.

So, confusion hits when some one says that I am not boring them. Yep, I ask. And others say: well, you are talking a lot!

I cannot tell if one is bored or not and so feel really disjointed and get scared to talk, because I cannot regulate how long or short I am talking for.

This came up in a test and I am sure I said that I can tell when someone is bored. But I can't!

 

[BraidedPony]

Oh, me too! I can notice if the person I’m talking to is fidgety but does that mean they are bored? Is it something I said that bothered them? Do they have to go to the bathroom??
I think, but of course I’m not sure, but I think I talk too much and for too long. I’m never the one to say, Well, I guess I better get going... sometimes I’m happy to just sit or stand near someone even if we aren’t talking but I guess that makes people uncomfortable.
It’s impossible to guess what topic someone will be interested in either.

 

[Pats]

Shoot people would walk away from me talking and I'd follow them. I didn't know they were tired of listening to whatever I was telling. lol I did finally stop following people. At least, for the most part.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh, me too! I can notice if the person I’m talking to is fidgety but does that mean they are bored? Is it something I said that bothered them? Do they have to go to the bathroom??
I think, but of course I’m not sure, but I think I talk too much and for too long. I’m never the one to say, Well, I guess I better get going... sometimes I’m happy to just sit or stand near someone even if we aren’t talking but I guess that makes people uncomfortable.
It’s impossible to guess what topic someone will be interested in either.

Me too, can notice if someone is fidgety.

 

[BraidedPony]

If someone keeps glancing at their watch then I can take the hint! Lol

 

[Pats]

My friends once made me a birthday cake and completely covered it in quarters because at the time when someone was talking too much someone else would throw them a quarter and say, "Call someone who cares." (quarters for the payphone). I still didn't get the hint, though.

 

[BraidedPony]

That’s gross, quarters on a cake! Money has so many germs...just...ugh....
I used to follow people too, they would walk away but in my mind we were in the middle of a conversation! Lol So embarrassing in hindsight. Oh well. At least they wouldn't run away.
Note to self: try not to talk too long, or too fast, or too loud.

 

[Fino]

Are you sure even NTs can tell when people they're talking to are bored? Wouldn't that just be mind-reading?

Or am I just being really autistic right now? LOL

But seriously, a lot of things I could imagine but this one seems too abstract. Is there a specific expression for boredom like there is for happy and sad? How could anyone know!?

 

[BraidedPony]

When the listener’s eyes glaze over and they tie a noose around their neck...
Lol
I don’t know. People have to take responsibility and end the conversation with words, not hope someone will decode an expression.

 

[Erik Bennet]

a doctor didnt know i had autism and he said he thought i have been taking weed because of my odd body langauge and blood shot eyes and nervousness but i have never smoked

 

[Ezra]

Being nonverbal ie a "good listener" I have been subjected to aspies talking my ear off on bus rides and such.

 

[Progster]

I can't tell when someone is bored from their facial expression either, but if they are bored, they shut me down, walk away/leave or change the subject.

Shoot people would walk away from me talking and I'd follow them. I didn't know they were tired of listening to whatever I was telling. lol I did finally stop following people. At least, for the most part.

I used to follow people, too. What are 'shoot people'?

 

[Fino]

I can't tell when someone is bored from their facial expression either, but if they are bored, they shut me down, walk away/leave or change the subject.

I used to follow people, too. What are 'shoot people'?

I believe it's, "Shoot! People would walk away..." which makes sense as a response to the previous post mentioning that people would walk away and he'd follow them, meaning this statement would be read in a tone of agreement because she did the same thing.

Unless you were joking, in which case I'll look silly, but I've been utterly confused by similar things so I thought I'd explain..

 

[Pats]

I can't tell when someone is bored from their facial expression either, but if they are bored, they shut me down, walk away/leave or change the subject.

I used to follow people, too. What are 'shoot people'?

Left out the comma, didn't I?

 

[Fino]

Commas!!

 

[Judge]

Commas!!

Well...you can always camouflage your commas and become a "comma chameleon" I suppose.

 

[Ylva]

I can read some body language, but I can't multitask it. The same way if I read while the tv is on I have to tune out one or the other, I can either speak, listen, or pay attention to your body language.

 

[Graphin]

The best location to stare for me to percieve most of the body language is the chest, not far away from the face, hands, and it's not in the eyes - perfect right, what could go wrong?
Women didn't like that idea at all when I was a kid

 

[lisatomic]

Ooh I have learned something about how to detect boredom! Or if not boredom, when people want to be done talking with you. Two things:

1) They often point their feet in the direction they want to go. So if they aren't pointing at you, but down the hallway, they want to keep going on their way!

2) People look at what they want to be doing! So if you stop someone and talk to them and they keep looking at their computer, or a book they were just reading, or maybe at the door... they want their attention there even while they are talking to you.

Finding out this last one has been very helpful to me! I sometimes keep talking anyway though And it has made me notice things that I do, when I don't want to talk to someone-- might be helpful next time to try to notice what *you* are subconsciously doing when you don't want to talk to someone or are bored (what do you keep looking at, how are you sitting?) and then see if you can notice other people doing that as well!

 

[Fino]

might be helpful next time to try to notice what *you* are subconsciously doing when you don't want to talk to someone or are bored (what do you keep looking at, how are you sitting?) and then see if you can notice other people doing that as well!

When I don't want to talk to someone, I stop talking to them!