Favourite Lines/Conversations from TV/Movies...

[Judge]

"Rollerball" (1975)

"Game ? This wasn't meant to be a game. NEVER!"

A single line of dialogue that defined the entire story.

 

[Mr Allen]

Forrest Gump, played by Tom Hanks: "Life is like a box of Chocolates, ya never know what you're gonna get!".

So true!

John Cleese as Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers episode "The Germans", "Don't mention the War! I did but I think I got away with it!"

 

[AGXStarseed]

One from Esper Mami that gets a laugh out of me:

[Mami senses something dark and violent behind her, but when her friend Kazuo looks he doesn't see anything]
Mami: "Well? Do you see anything?"
Kazuo: [Decides to play a joke on her] "Mami!"
Mami: "What?!"
Kazuo: "There's a big, hairy caterpillar on your back!"
Mami: [Screams and starts flailing wildly] "Where is it? Where is it?! Get it off me!"
Kazuo: "Just kidding!" [Runs away laughing]
Mami: "Hey!" [Chases after him] "That was mean!"

 

[AGXStarseed]

A conversation from the 90's Spider-Man animated series. The episode is S01,E03 ("The Spider Slayer") and features Flash Thompson (dressed in a Spider-Man outfit) captured and about to be shot by the Kingpin's henchmen. This bit just always gets a chuckle out of me.

Flash: *To the henchman* "No, you don't understand. Please!"
Henchman: "Nothing personal, web-head"
*The Henchman's gun is suddenly webbed and pulled out of his hand by the real Spider-Man*
Spider-Man: "He said 'Please'!"
Henchman: *After looking back and forth* "Two of them?!"
Spider-Man: "Congratulations, you can count - and they say the school system's failing".

 

[Judge]

"The Caine Mutiny" 1954

Captain Queeg (Humphrey Bogart) on the witness stand, upset over the disloyalty of his officers:

 

[pamelaperejil]

from Revolver (2005):

Jake Green: There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning, the only reason you suffer the ###### boss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. "Fear or revere me, but please think I'm special." We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The "hip, hip, hoo-#######-rah." Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Cos we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

 

[pamelaperejil]

from Gator Bait (1974)


Sheriff Joe Bob Thomas:
Did you bring young Ben's body out?

Deputy - Billy Boy:
No, pa, I couldn't. She blowed his head clean off. Besides, she... she sunk your boat.

Sheriff Joe Bob Thomas:
[sprays out the liquor he was drinking] Holy *Jesus*! She sunk my boat, *too*? I just paid $3,000 for that boat!

 

[pamelaperejil]

Moonstruck (1987)

Old Crone: You have someone on that plane?

Loretta Castorini: Yeah, my fiancé.

Old Crone: [angry] I put a curse on that plane. My sister is on that plane. I put a curse on that plane that it's gonna explode, burn on fire and fall into the sea. Fifty years ago, she stole a man from me. S'aprese il mio uomo! Today she tells me that she never loved him, that she took him to be strong on me. Now she's going back to Sicily. Ritorna in Sicilia! I cursed her that the green Atlantic water should swallow her up!

Loretta Castorini: I don't believe in curses.

Old Crone: [shrugging] Eh, neither do I.

 

[pamelaperejil]

from The Sound of Music

Maria: Children can't do all the things they're supposed to if they have to worry about spoiling their precious clothes.

Captain von Trapp: They haven't complained yet.

Maria: Well, they wouldn't dare! They love you too much. They *fear* you too much!

Captain von Trapp: I don't wish you to discuss my children in this manner.

Maria: Well, you've got to hear from someone! You're never home long enough to know them.

Captain von Trapp: I said I don't want to hear anymore from you about my children!

Maria: I know you don't, but you've got to! Now, take Liesl.

Captain von Trapp: [hesitatingly] You will not say one word about Liesl, Fraulein.

Maria: She's not a child anymore, and one of these days, you're going to wake up and find that she's a woman. You won't even know her. And Friedrich, he's a boy, but he wants to be a man and there's no one to show him how.

Captain von Trapp: Don't you dare tell me about my son.

Maria: Brigitta could tell you about him if you let her get close to you. She notices everything.

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein...

Maria: And Kurt pretends he's tough not to show how hurt he is when you brush him aside,

Captain von Trapp: That will do!

Maria: the way you do all of them. Louisa I don't even know about yet,

Captain von Trapp: I said that will do!

Maria: but somebody has to find out about her, and the little ones just want to be loved. Oh, please, Captain, love them! Love them all!

Captain von Trapp: I don't care to hear anything further from you about my children.

Maria: I am not finished yet, Captain!

Captain von Trapp: Oh, yes, you are, Captain!

[pauses, then corrects himself]

Captain von Trapp: Fraulein!

 

[pamelaperejil]

A Christmas Carol (1984)

Ebenezer Scrooge:
[on Tiny Tim] Tell me, Spirit... Will he live?

Ghost of Christmas Present:
I see an empty place at this table. I see a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, the child will die.

Ebenezer Scrooge:
No. Say he'll be spared.

Ghost of Christmas Present:
If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, none other of my species will find him here. But if he is to die, then let him die...! "AND DECREASE THE SURPLUS POPULATION!"

Ebenezer Scrooge:
You use my own words against me?

Ghost of Christmas Present:
Yes! So perhaps, in the future, you will hold your tongue until you have discovered where the surplus population is, and WHO it is. It may well be that, in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than MILLIONS like this poor man's child.

 

[DCA]

I sometimes like to walk around the house quoting The Emperor from Star Wars. Do a pretty good imitation if I don't say so...

Also just about anything from The Boondock Saints...

"Rule of thumb? You canna do much damage with that. Mebbe they should have called it Rule of Wrist..."

 

[AGXStarseed]

One from Red Dwarf and the Season 6 episode Rimmerworld; this conversation taking place after Arnold Rimmer (the crew member everyone onboard hates) has jumped into an escape pod and is rocketing away too fast for the rest of his team to catch up to him in their ship:

Kryten: "We could slow Mr Rimmer's escape pod down with a blast from the laser cannons."
Cat: "Form an orderly queue behind the gun sight!"

 

[Mr. Stevens]

One from Red Dwarf and the Season 6 episode Rimmerworld; this conversation taking place after Arnold Rimmer (the crew member everyone onboard hates) has jumped into an escape pod and is rocketing away too fast for the rest of his team to catch up to him in their ship:

Kryten: "We could slow Mr Rimmer's escape pod down with a blast from the laser cannons."
Cat: "Form an orderly queue behind the gun sight!"

This show had some funny episodes. The theme song still makes me laugh.

 

[AGXStarseed]

This show had some funny episodes. The theme song still makes me laugh.

Yeah, it's a great song.

Another conversation I remember is from the Holoship episode - which also involves Rimmer getting separated from the group:

Kryten: "They've taken Mr. Rimmer. [To Lister] Sir, they've taken Mr. Rimmer!"
Cat: "Quick - lets get out of here before they bring him back!"

 

[AGXStarseed]

One from Special Duty Combat Unit Shinesman, involving a conversation between the two alien villains after Prince Sasaki's cousin, Princess Shiina, takes his car (which he uses in his human disguise) for a drive without telling him.


Sasaki: "What do you mean 'Shiina borrowed my car?' What if she gets into some sort of wreck?"

Seki: "Ah, not to worry - the car is equipped with impact-sensitive forcefields and driver-side airbags".

Sasaki: "What about the Earth's traffic laws? What if she gets caught speeding or going down a one-way street? She doesn't even have her driver's license!"

Seki: "Tough words, Mr. Failed-his-Learners-three-times-encounting".

Sasaki: "What did you say?

Seki: "Oh er, nothing".

Sasaki: "Well, I think it's time you contact Planet Voice and tell them to pick up 'hot-rod' Shiina".

Seki: "It's all been arranged; the transmission will be broadcast tonight".

Sasaki: "Tonight? And what's wrong right now?"

Seki: "Even with our superior technology, it requires tremendous electrical power to broadcast transmissions through outer space".

Sasaki: "Oh of course, you're right - too much power consumption could draw unneeded attention to our secret operations".

Seki: "That wasn't the main consideration...It's only ten cents a minute after 6pm".

Sasaki: "...Great. You've been on Earth too long, Seki".

Seki: "Thanks".