Fear of Clear Instructions

[Fridgemagnetman]

Re-thinking this -

Was it really just @WereBear doing a really smart

"I've got a kayak" boast

Note :

I've got more kayaks than you do, also works.

Look at you Mr. Sad with your one kayak.... Ask me how many kayaks I've got, go on ask me..

 

[Wolf31]

Is it me? Or will some people never, upon pain of death, simply say what they want, or what needs to be done? And will they ever stop giving me a hard time because I don’t hint for hours instead of just saying what I want?

I had to chain up my kayaks in a new place, so I went to the hardware store with my brother, and I thought I did great: appreciated clerk’s suggestion for plastic coated chain, thanked him for taking care of the situation, and left my brother to wrap that up while I got a padlock.

After, I was told “way to talk to him like you were a drill instructor.”

WUT? Because I stated what I want in clear language? Instead of suggesting and hinting and waiting waiting waiting for the right thing to come along so I can kind of indicate it and we can all flap around it like a gaffed game fish in the bottom of a boat while the humming and screeching and HORRIBLE echoey warehouse at the hardware store takes an emery board to my last nerve?

Suuuuuure. That’s better.

We would never have gotten to the moon with that kind of attitude, all I’m saying.

I understand you here. I think a lot of people like to bumble around with small talk and social chit chat before they actually get the job done. Very annoying. People say similar things to me, that I don't care about other people because when I want something, I don't have time to think about trying to understand all the weird little quarks of people. They say I am worse on the phone, it always ends up being a flood of questions and commands.

 

[pax]

I usually organise my groceries on the conveyor into what goes together and what is easier to organise when I pack the trolley and get home - eg heavy cans together first, so that bag sits on the bottom of the trolley, frozen and refrigerated together, cleaning products together, vegetables, bread, and eggs last. ( And some baggers will still put the bleach in with the veges) A few weeks ago an assistant thanked me for being so organised. She may or may not have been aspie.

Reminds me of the time I was in a donut shop, and directed the clerk —moving from the left top to the bottom right— all the donuts I wanted in order. She was amazed and said “I’ve never done it so fast before.”

The thing is everybody waits in line there and yet they don’t think of what donuts they want until they get to the counter. I am just flabbergasted by the lack of efficiency. Their lack of thinking.

 

[Tom]

I liked the clarity of the military. Your brother needs to enlist.

 

[DesolateImp96]

Is it me? Or will some people never, upon pain of death, simply say what they want, or what needs to be done? And will they ever stop giving me a hard time because I don’t hint for hours instead of just saying what I want?

I had to chain up my kayaks in a new place, so I went to the hardware store with my brother, and I thought I did great: appreciated clerk’s suggestion for plastic coated chain, thanked him for taking care of the situation, and left my brother to wrap that up while I got a padlock.

After, I was told “way to talk to him like you were a drill instructor.”

WUT? Because I stated what I want in clear language? Instead of suggesting and hinting and waiting waiting waiting for the right thing to come along so I can kind of indicate it and we can all flap around it like a gaffed game fish in the bottom of a boat while the humming and screeching and HORRIBLE echoey warehouse at the hardware store takes an emery board to my last nerve?

Suuuuuure. That’s better.

We would never have gotten to the moon with that kind of attitude, all I’m saying.

That happens to me too. People annoy me the the excess jibber jabber

When I’m stressed , I can’t bring myself to ask for the simplest of things. At work (high stress) I struggle with conveying simple instructions , to the Point when I over word or over complicate it.

 

[Mary Anne]

I too am often called out on my “tone,” be it in emails, or in voice. I am always surprised at the complainer’s mention, for it is never my intent. Most often I was trying to express myself, and the way it came out is the only way I knew of. It’s all a mystery to me of how to communicate as not to offend people. Especially with topics I feel passionate about that are controversial. It really sucks with people I know...friends call me out on this, and people at work rarely, but still it’s embarrassing, frustrating, and extremely mystifying. I would change, IF I knew how!

 

[WereBear]

TONE. I have few regular problems, aside from my voice rising when I get excited, but when I am angry but trying to control it, I frighten people.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I too am often called out on my “tone,” be it in emails, or in voice. I am always surprised at the complainer’s mention, for it is never my intent. Most often I was trying to express myself, and the way it came out is the only way I knew of. It’s all a mystery to me of how to communicate as not to offend people. Especially with topics I feel passionate about that are controversial. It really sucks with people I know...friends call me out on this, and people at work rarely, but still it’s embarrassing, frustrating, and extremely mystifying. I would change, IF I knew how!

Yes, enthusiasm mistaken for anger.

 

[Fade2black]

I understand what the OP is experiencing. As an Asspie, I lack the soft skills of small talk and this has plagued me professionally and socially all my life. For me, direct speech is the only approach. When listening, small talk causes me to be confused about whatever the main point is that the speaker is making. When speaking, I speak directly and to the point because it's what I understand. To the listener, I'm interpreted as being insensitive or authoritarian. As a man, it seems women are the most offended by my inability of small talk and most likely to react negatively and sometimes retaliatory.

 

[Finder]

It is the curse of autism. At least in an NT world.

At least you can have the satisfaction that we are driving them as crazy as they are driving us!

 

[Kit]

I am one of those people who will wait till it's my time to pay by taking out my wallet. It's just that I have ADD and I don't want to misplace my wallet or drop anything if I get distracted so I keep everything together and wait till it's time to pay. I know where my credit card is. I know where my ID is and people can wait five seconds. Everything stays in its same spot so I know where it is.

 

[Kit]

Countless times I've ordered a coffee or a meal, and then received them not how I asked for them or wanted them - why shouldn't I be able to give instructions as to how I want them? Why should I have to pay for and consume a product that they got wrong, such as a coffee with sugar in it when I ordered one without sugar?

Where I live, I have never been to a place where I was forced to pay for something twice when they make a mistake. They have always replaced my order when I would tell them what I had actually asked for.