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Feeling down/disrespected over Communication issues with other Aspies

But to the OP- it's probably more about them than about you- something it's easy to lose sight of and personalize. Sounds to me that you are doing a lot and trying hard to engage these folks so I suspect it's about them not you. I don't see any reason why you couldn't do as sidd suggests with flyers- I certainly would keep trying and spreading the word about the group any way you can. Groups are notoriously difficult to get started so any success you have is a real accomplishment.
 
Social events are just that ... social. They require socializing. One of my sisters is quite social. She has people over a lot of the time. She and her husband invite them and they accept or not and they show up or not. She doesn't expect them to feel obligated to show up for a social event. That's how they do it and it seems to work because there are no hard feelings and everyone feels free to drop by or not for future events.

Also, it has been my experience that most social events require a number of extroverts. If you are stuck with just one other person, then you'd better have lots in common to talk about/share. Otherwise, it's not that much fun.

You might want to ask the other guy if he's O.K. with it being just the two of you, maybe he feels that he will be letting you down if he doesn't attend.
 
So, the other guy contacted me to tell me that this guy who has gone nc has contacted him today, to tell him that he is not going. :confused:

That's fine, but WHY can he not contact me, since I arranged the whole thing? It's almost like he's too scared to say to me that he's not going. (I did get that vibe yesterday when I sent the message. And the fact that he did not turn up the social group - it was almost as if he didn't want to face me).

I don't know how to deal with these people, and I don't know why they would get the impression that I would yell at them if they decided not to come?

And to top it off, i'm having communication issues with this other guy. I will ask him a question and sometimes he'll not reply? And I don't need that sort of thing right now - we need to plan what we're doing! I need to communicate with him.

This is very upsetting.
 
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It's comfortable interaction that you're seeking.
Perhaps you are putting undue emphasis on a few, individual members.

More people, if organized well, could find a couple different formats for interaction---
Here's a quiet discussion group.
Here's a charades game, or hangman, there's a movie screening, I don't know.

Someone suggested colored nametags, indicating outgoingness, willingness to interact with others/be approached.

I would make the attempt to blanket the area with flyers, consistently, on a regular basis. Try to draw as much interest as you can, and keep as many people responding as you can. Keep posting meetups and dates. Discuss which places and times with those that do show up. Build. Expand.
Some people won't respond until they feel that something is established and consistent.
If you persevere, I can't help but think that you will succeed.

I know.
Easier said than done.

I can be a relentless optimist,
for which, I apologize.

You are best situated to assess your possibility of success.
It's entirely possible that your local area is
just not large enough to provide enough bodies, period.

I apologize, if I've blindly made assumptions.
 
The way that I dealt with the feelings you are describing was to stop having such high expectations of other people. It was incredibly hard to learn, but it can be done.
 
Yup, expectation can be a real bear. Sometimes I think life is constantly adjusting expectations to realistic levels. That said, it's easier said than done and requires constant vigilance about what one is expecting.

I agree with sidd though, keep trying an blanket the area with flyers. You may have to persist for awhile before things take off.
 
LucyPurrs said:
Yup, expectation can be a real bear. Sometimes I think life is constantly adjusting expectations to realistic levels. That said, it's easier said than done and requires constant vigilance about what one is expecting.

I agree with sidd though, keep trying an blanket the area with flyers. You may have to persist for awhile before things take off.
Click to expand...
"Expectation ruins experience."
--- sidd851
 
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