Feeling like a general victim:

[Metalhead]

Logic tells me this train of thought is complete BS. Body chemistry is telling me it is the absolute truth. I feel as if I was born to be a general victim, and logic cannot snap me out of it right now.

Maybe it is the accumulation of a whole group of circumstances overwhelming me all at once.

In any case, I want this state of mind to pass right this second, but it does not want to leave me.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Feeling like a victim have some advantages like dont needing to feel the responsability of what happens to you.

I am sure that now you are pretty much aware of what you dont like of feeling like a victim, but there is a reason you do feel that way.

So, what benefit has for you to feel like a victim rigth now? What would you have to change if you suddently stopped feeling like a victim rigth now?

 

[Metalhead]

Feeling like a victim have some advantages like dont needing to feel the responsability of what happens to you.

I am sure that now you are pretty much aware of what you dont like of feeling like a victim, but there is a reason you do feel that way.

So, what benefit has for you to feel like a victim rigth now? What would you have to change if you suddently stopped feeling like a victim rigth now?

If I felt like less of a victim right now, I would be out of my bed and doing things instead of staying under the covers feeling deeply depressed. Maybe I should force myself out of bed anyway.

 

[Thinx]

Your life sounds to have been very tough, but I see you as a survivor, not a victim. You have fought effectively for your independence. You are recognised as highly competent at work. You are sociable and creative. You come up against challenges, but you adapt. Your thinking is good, you work your way through tough times. It can all be pretty overwhelming I should think.

This feeling will pass, but look after yourself meanwhile. As I guess I often say, you can be that loving friend or parent you need. As adults we can do that, the operative word being, loving. Also, I hope you have some other support too at present? It's been a tough time.

 

[Metalhead]

Well, I forced myself out of bed, drank a liter of water, took a walk around the block a couple of times but not for too long since the weather outside sucks today. I also plan on showering and shaving after I post this message, and I plan on eating a healthy dinner tonight. I really do not feel like watching any movies or playing any games today. I feel like hanging with friends, but all my RL friends are busy this evening with their own lives. I do not feel comfortable in my own skin.

 

[Thinx]

That's good progress. Could you call someone?

 

[Metalhead]

That's good progress. Could you call someone?

I can in a couple of hours from now.

I feel like I might need to take a shot of NyQuil in order to sleep tonight, I have to go to the office tomorrow.

 

[Thinx]

Going to work maybe a good thing to help you feel more yourself? What's NyQuil? Does it help?

 

[Metalhead]

Going to work maybe a good thing to help you feel more yourself? What's NyQuil? Does it help?

NyQuil is a cold medicine that is known for being able to put people to sleep quickly. I sometimes use it for insomnia.

 

[Thinx]

I hope you have a therapy appointment at least, or someone to talk with, it's good you can talk on on the phone with someone. You are doing your best here, it's good you got up.

 

[Slim Jim]

I think it's hard not to sometimes. Life never goes the way you want it. For No One. Hey that's a Beatles song...a good one too.

 

[Callistemon]

Good on you getting up and getting yourself moving, @Metalhead. Sometimes we need to pilot our bodies despite bad feelings, to take care of ourselves. It's interesting that better feelings often follow down the line if we can do that.

I sort of see that as being your own parent/best friend: To see yourself a bit from the outside, e.g. "Hey, you're lying in bed feeling terrible. C'mon, get up, let's make it better. How about a nice bath? A cup of hot chocolate? What's a nice thing you can do for yourself? Is there a small job on your list you can do to get a little sense of achievement, and a reward for after? A book you want to read, a movie you want to watch?" ...whatever works for you and the situation.

 

[Aspychata]

It sucks having to parent ourself. It does happen. Maybe reward yourself with something for getting thru especially if it was tough.

When l trigger, which is a lot, l think it thru, then l think what can l do now. Sometimes l just stay under my blanket. Sometimes l get up and go. I definitely talk more truthfully to people these days. That really helps me feel less of a victim. It's working too. If people are acting manipulative, l catch it in the moment, and decide if l will call them on it. I take my power back.

 

[Darkkin]

Logic makes it seem easy. TRUTH! Right there staring one in the face. And then brain, wherein logic is rooted and born, comes in and says. Nope. Forget that and ruminate on this other topic instead.

I absolutely adore logic, but sometimes my really smart brain can be a total dumbass. Consciously, I know this, but my brain is stuck in stupid mode. I know I'm lucky in the fact that I can call my mom when I'm in stupid mode. She will literally tell me I'm being an idiot, which I already know, but she will talk me down and help me laugh at myself. I hate stupid mode as much as I love my mom.

Generally, I only call if I'm fighting a meltdown and I don't have recourse. e.g. Taking off with Rue Dog, my music, my balance ball, or a swing, etc.

You've done your due diligence getting up, hydrating, exercise, etc. That in and of itself is a huge step in the right direction. It takes will power to do that when the brain is saying 'mhh'.

 

[Aspychata]

Logic makes it seem easy. TRUTH! Right there staring one in the face. And then brain, wherein logic is rooted and born, comes in and says. Nope. Forget that and ruminate on this other topic instead.

I absolutely adore logic, but sometimes my really smart brain can be a total dumbass. Consciously, I know this, but my brain is stuck in stupid mode. I know I'm lucky in the fact that I can call my mom when I'm in stupid mode. She will literally tell me I'm being an idiot, which I already know, but she will talk me down and help me laugh at myself. I hate stupid mode as much as I love my mom.

Generally, I only call if I'm fighting a meltdown and I don't have recourse. e.g. Taking off with Rue Dog, my music, my balance ball, or a swing, etc.

You've done your due diligence getting up, hydrating, exercise, etc. That in and of itself is a huge step in the right direction. It takes will power to do that when the brain is saying 'mhh'.

Well said. It's a complicated thought process then we can derail and just be idiots. It just depends if we are right brain, left brain for the day.

 

[Kalinychta]

Something I’ve started doing when I feel depressed or pissy is: I watch or listen to something funny (movie, radio show, etc.). Laughter…I can’t think of anything else that has such an immediate mood-boosting effect. Last night I felt really stressed out and sad, so I watched Bill Maher’s new stand-up special thingy on HBO called #Adulting, and afterward I felt sooo much better. So, watch some comedy, Metalhead, or call/text/meet up with a friend who’s really funny…or do anything that will make you laugh.

 

[Fino]

I think it's okay sometimes to feel down, like a victim, for a moment or two before getting back up again and relishing in the difference in feeling between being okay and feeling like death.

 

[Callistemon]

It sucks having to parent yourself.

D'you think so? What if you're a good parent to yourself? Learning to parent myself was one of the best things I learnt to do in my life. It really made up for a lot of lack in that department, and is helpful for metacognition: Knowing what's going on with me, because looking slightly from the outside etc.

I'm good at encouragement, handing out vouchers for "free rants" and "free hugs", making good food, and general hygge - for me too.

 

[Aspychata]

D'you think so? What if you're a good parent to yourself? Learning to parent myself was one of the best things I learnt to do in my life. It really made up for a lot of lack in that department, and is helpful for metacognition: Knowing what's going on with me, because looking slightly from the outside etc.

I'm good at encouragement, handing out vouchers for "free rants" and "free hugs", making good food, and general hygge - for me too.

I just have lofty ideas that l am beyond parenting. Adulting is better. Parenting is when you want to hole up. Adulting is shrugging off life.

 

[Callistemon]

I like your ideas, @Aspychata! No reason you can't adult yourself and parent yourself, depending on the situation. I rather enjoy the TLC and understanding I missed out on when I was little! Speaking of, must be hot chocolate time!