Feeling nothing for relationship needs.

[AprilR]

^Yeah, but i feel like in my case the more people i meet the more i become desentesized to feeling romantic love, or emotional connection or anything that is genuine. This is just my experience ofc, everyone's circumstances are different.
But i don't feel lonely bc at some point i was able to feel that closeness with people and that's enough for me.

 

[Darkkin]

The drama and spoon premiums are a not usually worth the effort, especially if you are self sustaining in terms of emotion and energy.

Being able to adult fairly effectively is a pretty good spot to be in. Simple contentment can boggle the minds of others. Spoon takers in particular.

Flipside is the people who do nothing but complain about not having a relationship, not being able to find anyone, no one likes them, etc...

And I'm over here reading this going: 'Have you actually listened to what you sound like to other people? There is a very practical reason people avoid you.'

Yeah! Let's trade peace, contentment, decent mental health and spoon reserves for toddler drama. No one wants to parent a significant other into emotional maturity.

Apologies for the cynicism, but the behaviour of others is precisely why I appreciate my status quo.

I have a number of friends who have excellent relationships with their spouses, and are pretty happy for the most part.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Yeah! Let's trade peace, contentment, decent mental health and spoon reserves for toddler drama. No one wants to parent a significant other into emotional maturity.

Apologies for the cynicism, but the behaviour of others is precisely why I appreciate my status quo.

I have some sympathy for those you mock. I was once there myself, though I would rarely let that be known when I was living it. But, I decided to change. While I have found contentment in backpacking solo for a week, I imagined what life could be like having one accepting person. With that as a goal, I worked on myself to enjoy the person I am, living independently, and joined activity groups. I started having a great time, and even with a failed, short, relationship, I didn't even know that I was creating a person that my future spouse desired.

 

[Darkkin]

I have some sympathy for those you mock. I was once there myself, though I would rarely let that be known when I was living it. But, I decided to change. While I have found contentment in backpacking solo for a week, I imagined what life could be like having one accepting person. With that as a goal, I worked on myself to enjoy the person I am, living independently, and joined activity groups. I started having a great time, and even with a failed, short, relationship, I didn't even know that I was creating a person that my future spouse desired.

The big thing here is you did the work and made a conscious effort. You invested in you and your own foundations. You set an example on how to suceed.

What has been so glaringly off putting about certain behaviours is that a relationship is seen as a status symbol and a remedy for one's personal struggles. And it's not.

There are several who have exhibited very similar behaviour patterns. Not once was the even theoretical female taken into consideration. It was always only expectations A - P. What could and will be gained on the currently abstract efforts of another.

There is no blank slate approach, instead unwritten criteria that needs to be met. (Yes, it can and does go both ways, but it lays ground work for fault finding.)

Like a writer too close to their own work, objectivity is moot. The chronic patterns and the tone of the context is a red flag.

It is a signal that maybe that individual is not emotionally capable of dealing with another's emotions and needs in a healthy way. Even in the most basic interactions the ratio of give and take is hugely uneven. These patterns repeat unless they are addressed.

It is the attitude that is bothersome that people are angry and resentful when others avoid them for being angry and resentful. You have to like yourself at least a little bit if others are to do the same.

And being okay with who we are and where one is at is a sign of emotional maturity and/or consciousness and personal foundation work. These are the people would did and understood the assignment.

We did the assignment. Might not have been a comfortable project, but the work got done. That is what it comes down to.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

The big thing here is you did the work and made a conscious effort. You invested in you and your own foundations. You set an example on how to suceed.

What has been so glaringly off putting about certain behaviours is that a relationship is seen as a status symbol and a remedy for one's personal struggles. And it's not. There are several who have exhibited very similar behaviour patterns.

Like a writer too close to their own work, objectivity is moot. The chronic patterns and the tone of the context is a red flag. It is a signal that maybe that individual is not emotionally capable of dealing with another's emotions and needs in a healthy way.

It is the attitude that is bothersome that people are angry and resentful when others avoid them for being angry and resentful. You have to like yourself at least a little bit if others are to do the same.

Yes, I know those who shall not be named. And I wonder that they do not seem to take delight in other people. Hell, Tomorrow morning I will be getting together with the bicycle club for breakfast at the A & W and then a hike afterward (still too cold for biking). I really like this bunch of geezers who enjoy life to the limits of their abilities. Their company makes me happy.

And the work of a relationship! I managed one between Detroit and Chicago, before I wrapped things up to move to Chicago. And the ups and DOWNS of marriage. Oy! But, it has been a journey that opened me up to so much contentment.

 

[Darkkin]

Yes, I know those who shall not be named. And I wonder that they do not seem to take delight in other people. Hell, Tomorrow morning I will be getting together with the bicycle club for breakfast at the A & W and then a hike afterward (still too cold for biking). I really like this bunch of geezers who enjoy life to the limits of their abilities. Their company makes me happy.

And the work of a relationship! I managed one between Detroit and Chicago, before I wrapped things up to move to Chicago. And the ups and DOWNS of marriage. Oy! But, it has been a journey that opened me up to so much contentment.

Now I want a root beer float and all I have are strawberry popsicles. Oh well, better than nothing.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Now I want a root beer float and all I have are strawberry popsicles. Oh well, better than nothing.