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Fight, Flight or Freeze?

Depends on the situation. I dislike confrontation, as many here seem to, so I tend to have flight as a first impulse. If I've nothing to gain by sticking around, i'll flee. If I have something to lose, I have trained myself to keep still and see how things play out. I'm usually smart enough and have just enough of a disarming charm(?) to keep things civil. So it is a mild mannered discussion or argument, as Dynamic is suggesting. Keep cool and rational. If things get hotter, I will try to duck out somehow. If pushed hard and unable to remove myself from the situation, I will freeze, and see what happens. Let the other person blow their steam off, I'll wait. Eventually though, I'll have to blow my steam off, too. I'll yell and holler. I'm over 6 foot and athletically built, so I really do not want to engage physically. There has only been one time in my life where I had no choice but to fight physically. All I can say is someone else got the worst of it.

In all cases, it is draining. Interacting with people is not easy or natural for me, and when confronted of course it's even harder.
 
I don't like confrontation. I think since I was small, my mind would go into freeze mode, nothing would register. I've had a lot of people screaming in my face in my life and when I've gone into freeze mode, they have insisted on pushing me to a point where I do snap out of it and try and flee... at times this has been a dire need for me to just calmly walk away and think. When I have someone that's cornered me in this way then that's when I explode.
 
Besides Fight, Flight or Freeze, one can also dance. Chris Pratt does that at the crisis in Guardians of the Galaxy.


After looking at this I think I like Vogue the best.
 
In a crowded situation, which I try to avoid at all costs, when people approach me, flight. If that's not possible, like if I'm on a bus, freeze. My fight response would probably combined with the flight, in that when I do get anxious, it sometimes turns to anger, and as I'm fleeing the situation, I'm moving faster than normal, randomly blurting out "Too crowded," "Too many people," or something to that affect, and almost hyperventilating. The worst episode took over a day to recover from it.
 
This happened to me recently at work. I asked a girl a question and how it turned sideways is beyond me so I just said to her when the conversation was going down hill " I don't like where this conversation is going so I am leaving now" and gently got the hell out of there. All I said to the girl was " let's all on this team vote on this one girl as employee of the month because she does a great job and really needs the money-you are her best friend. How can we get this started?" and she tore me a new one...
 
e79243 said:
This happened to me recently at work. I asked a girl a question and how it turned sideways is beyond me so I just said to her when the conversation was going down hill " I don't like where this conversation is going so I am leaving now" and gently got the hell out of there. All I said to the girl was " let's all on this team vote on this one girl as employee of the month because she does a great job and really needs the money-you are her best friend. How can we get this started?" and she tore me a new one...
Click to expand...


I suppose that likely depends on just how rigidly eligibility for such a distinction is and how that is interpreted by the person you were speaking to.

Perhaps you "lost her" completely with emphasizing friendship and "she really needs the money" when all you needed to emphasize was the person's superior performance.

But I remember those conversations and votes as well. In our office the process itself quickly deteriorated and digressed into a combination of bureaucracy and a beauty contest. Mostly because not every month actually had an employee who especially stood out. But we were obliged to elect someone anyways...so the process strayed from merit considerations. Eventually the process was quietly ended by management with no objections.

At least with a peer in a job setting you have that option to just walk away. The "freeze" aspect came for me when it involved a superior ripping me one. I couldn't walk away, and fighting would have resulted in losing my job. So I froze.
 
I once had a job where someone above me was constantly up my butt about nothing. In a meeting where I was being called out by him my first reaction was to come over top of a conference desk to beat him up,but it would have cost me my job.

I went the passive resistance route and signed him up with a never ending supply of homosexual pornography advertisements thru the postal service...His wife wasn't amused a bit and left him over it :p
 
I worked in a government service and I loved the job, it gave me a real sense of self satisfaction, however the one day there was a meeting called for a new service user.
The were about 6 of us carers and from what I remember two specialists which were to describe and instruct a particular way of 'care' for this particular new service user.
The service user had something similar to that of brittle bone (it may have even been this) but she needed to be carefully moved by carers in a way that did not cause her any harm. It was quite detailed in how her bed should be made and how she should be moved and handled etc.
I did not understand from the words used and could not picture in my head the exact way which was being described to us and of course was worried sick that I may harm this lovely service user if it came to a point by where I would be called to her care.
So, I plucked up all the courage I had to ask to raise my hand and ask if we could be shown... to which I was shot down immediately.
I was called to see the manager by where I received a verbal warning as it was taken that basically I was taking the piss and trying to show the professionals up. I was seen as being rude and as instigating embarrassment to the professionals.
 
In a confrontational situation - flight unless I've nowhere to go. Not a fighter. Last person I hit was a guy who tried to steal my bag. Hit him square in the face and knocked him down. Grabbed my bag and ran...then I actually went back to apologise and make sure he was ok because I felt bad.

In an emergency such as fire, medical or something - I react in the fight category. I used to work on FastCraft Ferries and was an RNLI volunteer for a while too. Emergencies like ship board fire, bad weather, overboard, or medical emergency on board never phased me.

Stress from social or relationship things - freeze...more like shut down. I can hold my own in an argument but as soon as it's more personal, especially about feelings I just shut down. Last relationship I was in went south and when the ex was in the process of dumping me I imagine I was a bit like a stunned gold fish. Took me days to "rehearse" an argument and as soon as she went off script I was shut down again. Ridiculously frustrating to say the least
 
Fight first then freeze/flight about equal. Although I know at this point it's best I don't let myself get into social situations where I feel pressured and stressed. lol o_O:mad::confused::smilingimp::oops::D
 
Nitro said:
I once had a job where someone above me was constantly up my butt about nothing. In a meeting where I was being called out by him my first reaction was to come over top of a conference desk to beat him up,but it would have cost me my job.

I went the passive resistance route and signed him up with a never ending supply of homosexual pornography advertisements thru the postal service...His wife wasn't amused a bit and left him over it :p
Click to expand...

Wow Nitro ah, that's true fight with strategy. If I can be so bold, I thought I was the harshest person around....
 
I usually freeze when in a situation of anxiety or stress or I will try to fled,I'm not good with being within a stressful situation.
 
Just a quick reminder: in my OP, and as one or two have said since, 'Fight' in this context doesn't have to mean fists. It could just be working harder. If you trawl through the thread, you will also find more options than just the three, including 'fein'.
 
For me it's usually either flight or freeze, but if stress/anxiety/anger has been accumulating over a period of time, I can also lean towards "fight," which, since I've trained myself to take my anger out on no one but myself, can lead to a meltdown.

ETA: I forgot to mention that I'm also extremely avoidant, to the extent that I believe I might qualify for a dx of Avoidant Personality Disorder.
 
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