Five Love Languages Quiz

[Cali Cat]

It seems there are some consistencies among Aspies when it comes to how we choose to express and recognize love and affection. Quality time seems to be the most prevalent. This doesn't really surprise me, since I think many of us feel somewhat isolated intellectually. It feels good to have someone really listen to us and be fully present with us.

I'm rather surprised that acts of service didn't come up more frequently though. However, I may be biased about that, since that's the way I perceive/express love and affection. It just seems natural to me.

Thanks to all who participated in this little experiment. I realize the test model was not the best, but it was the best of those there were to choose from online.

 

[Judge]

I've posted this allegory by author Shel Silverstein many times in this forum. It never gets old, either.

Finding another person to love isn't everything. But finding yourself just might be.

 

[Cali Cat]

I've posted this allegory by author Shel Silverstein many times in this forum. It never gets old, either.

Finding another person to love isn't everything. But finding yourself just might be.

I like that. I'd rather roll side by side with someone anyway. No codependency for me!

 

[Judge]

I like that. I'd rather roll side by side with someone anyway. No codependency for me!

Well..the point remains that the missing piece learned to roll all on their own...whether with a companion or not.

We aren't defined by our jobs- or marital status. That we are who we are...and that's OK. Even if all alone.

 

[Cali Cat]

Well..the point remains that the missing piece learned to roll all on their own...whether with a companion or not.

We aren't defined by our jobs- or marital status. That we are who we are...and that's OK. Even if all alone.

Yeah, I get the point, but I feel relationships are so much better when two people choose it rather than need it.

I'm perfectly happy rolling alone ... James Dean style.

 

[Judge]

Yeah, I get the point, but I feel relationships are so much better when two people choose it rather than need it.

True....codependency is like a bad political alliance.

 

[Daniela]

I have 3 phisical contact, words of apreciation and qualaty time

 

[Lilybell]

I have 3 phisical contact, words of apreciation and qualaty time

Hi to all who offered me advice. I appreciated all your help.

Sadly, we ended last Monday after his wife, who he forgot to mention, called me.

Whether he is autistic or not I'll never know but he definitely seems like a narcissist. He has cheated on her before and now she is sure it's several times. The man is a compulsive liar as I've now discovered.

I'm pretty sure the woman who came to stay was another one. As I've discovered he's not a very nice human being at all. He's lost his family through all of this and only has himself to blame.

Thank you again to all of you, especially 'Judge' who offered so much advice. It was invaluable at the time.

What a lovely bunch of people xx

 

[Cali Cat]

Hi to all who offered me advice. I appreciated all your help.

Sadly, we ended last Monday after his wife, who he forgot to mention, called me.

Whether he is autistic or not I'll never know but he definitely seems like a narcissist. He has cheated on her before and now she is sure it's several times. The man is a compulsive liar as I've now discovered.

I'm pretty sure the woman who came to stay was another one. As I've discovered he's not a very nice human being at all. He's lost his family through all of this and only has himself to blame.

Wow, that's really terrible. Thank goodness the truth finally came out, even though I'm sure it must have been devastating at the time. Something similar happened to me once, so I can relate. At least it answers a lot of questions and provides some measure of closure.

It sounds as though this guy definitely has a personality disorder, most likely Narcissistic ... probably comorbid with high functioning autism. I can only imagine his poor wife went through hell too.

Do be careful though. If he does have NPD, he may try to worm his way back to you, especially if he's really lost his family. This type is known for their charm and ability to "hoover," that is, suck people back into relationships with them.

It's an odd paradox how some people can seem so sweet, charming and delightful, and yet have this dark underbelly of sinister motives. Sad really ... for them and everyone whose life they touch. This is what I consider true "evil."

I wish you the best from here on out, Lilybell. Take care, dear, and don't ever give him the chance to hoover you if he comes calling again.

 

[Vinca]

Hi to all who offered me advice. I appreciated all your help.

Sadly, we ended last Monday after his wife, who he forgot to mention, called me.

Whether he is autistic or not I'll never know but he definitely seems like a narcissist. He has cheated on her before and now she is sure it's several times. The man is a compulsive liar as I've now discovered.

I'm pretty sure the woman who came to stay was another one. As I've discovered he's not a very nice human being at all. He's lost his family through all of this and only has himself to blame.

Thank you again to all of you, especially 'Judge' who offered so much advice. It was invaluable at the time.

What a lovely bunch of people xx

So sorry to hear that Lilybell, *hugs*.

 

[Maelstrom]

Hi to all who offered me advice. I appreciated all your help.

Sadly, we ended last Monday after his wife, who he forgot to mention, called me.

Whether he is autistic or not I'll never know but he definitely seems like a narcissist. He has cheated on her before and now she is sure it's several times. The man is a compulsive liar as I've now discovered.

I'm pretty sure the woman who came to stay was another one. As I've discovered he's not a very nice human being at all. He's lost his family through all of this and only has himself to blame.

Thank you again to all of you, especially 'Judge' who offered so much advice. It was invaluable at the time.

What a lovely bunch of people xx

That is awful....it is too bad you can't sue him for emotional abuse or something..my sympathies to you. Put a cow pie on his car seat or something. Just kidding I don't want to get you in trouble.

 

[midlife aspie]

I got touch, closely followed by verbal affirmation. Not surprisingly, these were the lowest ranking things for my wife. Sheds a little light on the issues in our marriage!

 

[Mr Allen]

Even though I gave up the lessons 26 years ago, I can still remember bits of French and Spanish from school, I could ask for a drink in a French Pub at least, hmm, how does it go now? Oh yeah, Je voudrais un Biere sil vous plait.. But fortunately I do have Google Translate on me phone if I came to any problems.

 

[midlife aspie]

I want to say here that the love language quiz has helped us a lot in understanding each other and I am pleased to say that I think my marriage has taken a turn for the better! This forum has actually done me some good and I hope it helps others too.

 

[Cali Cat]

I want to say here that the love language quiz has helped us a lot in understanding each other and I am pleased to say that I think my marriage has taken a turn for the better! This forum has actually done me some good and I hope it helps others too.

Good luck to you. I hope things continue moving in a positive direction.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I didn't get far at all before I had a serious problem with this quiz.

Statement 2
A.I like to spend one-to-one time with a person who is special to me.
B.I feel loved when someone gives practical help to me.

These are neither opposing choices nor are they even in the same category! I literally stopped at question 2 because the quiz doesn't seem to know what makes "affection" or "love" work. In fact, I would dare say that A and B are more commonly connected than they are opposing.

If this is one of those "which is more important" type quizzes I still don't like them. That's like those quizzes that say if you and your siblings are stranded on a raft but there's limited supplies, who do you kill to survive. That' messed up even for how we show affection.

But yeah, we do show love differently than most. Me, I show love with time and attention. Quite simple I know but considering the lengths and depths of most of my posts, I'm sure I wouldn't have a hard time convincing you guys that I'm an analyzer and deducer. To spend time running my brain to give help where I can may not be Ghirardelli chocolate to the heart of women but when a robot does robot things, it means something. Often when I show love, it is more hard edges and cold than an inspirational JPG or emoticon. I hate seeing people in pain and often I see with my eye the cause of their pain and how to relieve the pain and make it all better but more often than not, people don't want the pain healed, they just want to feel better.