Flirting. (The most difficult thing in the world)

[Ereth]

I didn't really care for flirting until I got together with my boyfriend. In school I was the butt of so many jokes involving pretend flirting (meant to imply that no one would ever flirt with me or be attracted to me) that I was soured on it completely.

But flirting's different when you're with someone who really means it when he says you're beautiful . . .

 

[Randomperson]

Flirting is illogical, and from what I have observed mostly deceitful, I just do not understand it. My brain is wired wrong for it.

 

[Harrison]

I guess flirting is no different to the preliminary mating rituals of any other creature. The posturing on both sides can be seen as flirtacious so it serves a purpose. As humans have 'developed' I guess they rely less on non verbal communication.

 

[Vanilla]

I've never purposely done it before (ever), though apparently I can appear to be flirting unintentionally. Now that I'm older, I'm very mindful of this, and try to avoid being too friendly. The only downside is that this can instead make me appear cold. I've now come to the conclusion that it's not always what I'm doing wrong; it can also depend on how the other person percieves me.

I doubt I'd ever want to attempt to flirt, as it would probably come across rather awkward.

 

[icesyckel]

Flirting is illogical, and from what I have observed mostly deceitful, I just do not understand it. My brain is wired wrong for it.

First, it is only deceitful if someone is intentionally being disingenuous about his/her interest as expressed by the flirting.

As to it being illogical, I am not so sure. While there are certainly more "direct" ways to express your interest in someone, it still gets the job done albeit in a way that many NT's (who don't struggle as much with non-verbal communication) find more entertaining even if less efficient than direct communication.

There are faster, more efficient ways to tell a story than in movie format, yet movies are meant to be entertaining more than efficient. I think flirting might be indirect, but it is not illogical to express one's affections in a way that is fun/entertaining. It just seems illogical to those of us on the spectrum who sometimes lack the ability to pick up on non-verbal communication. For this reason, it might be illogical for an NT to flirt with someone s/he knows is on the spectrum and/or would have difficulty picking up on it. Otherwise, in "normal" situations, it seems effective enough.

The posturing on both sides can be seen as flirtacious so it serves a purpose.

Even though this was not really in reference to humans, I agree with Harrison that flirting can serve a purpose. We consider our linguistic abilities "advanced," but sometimes it can be more efficient to communicate without words between those who are capable of doing so.

 

[Bettiejane]

I find flirting very easy, in fact I find it hard to communicate with others without appearing flirty or making sexy jokes.

My job as a model means I can be topless in front of photographers very easily, and feel comfortable talking about modelling and photography (areas which I am interested), but I find myself feeling painfully awkward talking to strangers, the doctor / hair dresser etc and will do all I can to avoid these situations.