Following rules?

[Owliet]

Is it so bad to follow rules and expectations? I don't follow them black and white, I do see gray. I also can be flexible with specifications. I also don't tattle on others if they break the rules, unless it harms others. Often times, I will pick the blame myself (if its reasonable). It is becoming quite clear to me that it is at times rather difficult being someone with ASD in a predominantly NT working environment. I don't get the nuances, and like to be as honest as possible. I think its important, especially in the environment that I work in to have some form of integrity and responsibility. I don't know if the comment made by my colleague could be considered as bullying, it was more of an observation regarding a student who is perceived to be on the spectrum in some forms and she said "like you" but it was mentioned after implied that he likes telling on others, and I don't do that.

I keep to myself a lot, and it just seems that because i follow some rules that makes me a stickler for them.... I guess this is something else to talk with my psych for the next time but I don't get that comment because I don't run every time to my boss when they do something questionable or stupid.

 

[Raggamuffin]

If rules make you feel safe - then you'd probably abide by them.

If they feel wrong - or like you're hemmed in, you probably instinctively want to reject them.

At work I often get my manager pointing out my mistakes, yet I don't point out the daily encounters with other people's mistakes that I come across. I just grumble to myself, and fix other people's errors for them.

As you say - being a stickler isn't a positive thing. I encounter a lot of them at work and each time it fills me with a lot of negative emotions.

Ed

 

[Knower of nothing]

While this doesn't give me enough context to make assumptions I still get mad reading things like this.
Of course rules and integrity or justice are not perfectly aligned, but they are pretty adjacent. People dislike being caught cheating, they turn the guilt (or annoyance if they really don't care) on whoever is trying to maintain order. Think of people that casually put the lives of others in danger by committing traffic violations and then them getting angry at the cop for ticketing them. The loud neighbor ruining sleep for his whole apartment block getting upset when he's disturbed by complaints. It's inconsiderate. It's audacious.
You seem sensitive to receiving comments, I can imagine that's rough to deal with in work environments where people will often be stressed and not respond too well to situations. I don't really know what to do about it, if I was there with you I'd be getting mad and escalating instead of helping haha

 

[Forest Cat]

So one of your colleagues was talking about a student who is perceived to be on the spectrum in some forms and she said "like you"? And she said it after she implied that he likes telling on others. It sounds odd, most people do not have the courage to say that to someones face, if she meant that you also tell on others.

It sounds strange, I don't know what happened but could it be a misunderstanding? And you say you haven't told on anyone, so why would she think you did. I`m sorry you have to deal with these confusing things, it sounds annoying.

 

[Sarah S]

Is it so bad to follow rules and expectations? I don't follow them black and white, I do see gray. I also can be flexible with specifications. I also don't tattle on others if they break the rules, unless it harms others. Often times, I will pick the blame myself (if its reasonable). It is becoming quite clear to me that it is at times rather difficult being someone with ASD in a predominantly NT working environment. I don't get the nuances, and like to be as honest as possible. I think its important, especially in the environment that I work in to have some form of integrity and responsibility. I don't know if the comment made by my colleague could be considered as bullying, it was more of an observation regarding a student who is perceived to be on the spectrum in some forms and she said "like you" but it was mentioned after implied that he likes telling on others, and I don't do that.

I keep to myself a lot, and it just seems that because i follow some rules that makes me a stickler for them.... I guess this is something else to talk with my psych for the next time but I don't get that comment because I don't run every time to my boss when they do something questionable or stupid.

Based on how you describe this I'd says this is a misunderstanding dear and she wasn't implying you to be one of those telling or reporting on others, and the " like you " probably were meant as you are also on the spectrum as this other guy.

IF she indeed thought this of you i would dare to say she woldent inform you that she knew or suspected you to do this she would keep this to herself or other co-workers as otherwise she risks getting reported and that is something she don't want.

Im so terribly sorry you have these problems dear BUT DONT for a minute take any blame for something you haven't done wrong

And last even for those without diagnosis for males us women's way of expressing our selves is often like a mixture of alien / ancient Latin so don't feel too bad my friend. (HUG)

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

When I was working, the two rules I had in testing processes.

1. Am I testing under all worst case conditions and accurately representing the results to the FDA?
2. Do I feel confident putting the product in my veins and those of my family?

 

[Suzette]

I wish I could help. I always keep to myself at work as much as my job allowed. It helps to simply ignore others comments. Your job isn't dependant on how one rude coworker percieves you. It is dependent on how well you do your job.
Your boss knows who is the tattle tell, it doesn't matter what others think is true. Their beliefs do not change facts.
I've been accused of things I didn't do by coworkers. It is tempting to defend yourself. But don't do it. Just look at the accuser flatly and say "Interesting" and walk away.

 

[Matthias]

I've found it's best to just use common sense without overthinking it. If there's only a few, important rules, most people will follow them. It someone makes a long list of relatively unimportant rules to attempt to control every aspect of people's lives, most people will ignore many of them.

 

[Ban]

I've had this problem before, I've had experiences in the past where people thought I was trying to present myself as a "golden child" and then would be looking for something I did wrong so they could point it out and prove I'm not in fact better than everyone else. I never understood why they had this perception because I didn't think I was claiming to be better than anyone and I didn't even really care whether they followed the rules or not I was just doing things in the way that felt right for me and breaking the rules just felt like it would be more trouble than it would save for me if I would start stressing about consequences.

 

[Owliet]

So one of your colleagues was talking about a student who is perceived to be on the spectrum in some forms and she said "like you"? And she said it after she implied that he likes telling on others. It sounds odd, most people do not have the courage to say that to someones face, if she meant that you also tell on others.

It sounds strange, I don't know what happened but could it be a misunderstanding? And you say you haven't told on anyone, so why would she think you did. I`m sorry you have to deal with these confusing things, it sounds annoying.

Perhaps. I did not have an opportunity to ask what she meant because someone else came in the room and I retreated. At the time, in the moment I cared but I don’t really care much anymore. I’m very different from some of them. I don’t have much in common with some of them and that’s ok. This colleague thinks I’m quite boring because I don’t go out and party or drink. But that’s ok. I only have two more months in this job position, I may sound callous here but it isn’t worth it. I just work hard in this job and not worry about anything else. I interact with others that I want to. This colleague also was one of those who felt like I was patient zero. I stopped that when it was mentioned again on Monday.

I wish I could help. I always keep to myself at work as much as my job allowed. It helps to simply ignore others comments. Your job isn't dependant on how one rude coworker percieves you. It is dependent on how well you do your job.
Your boss knows who is the tattle tell, it doesn't matter what others think is true. Their beliefs do not change facts.
I've been accused of things I didn't do by coworkers. It is tempting to defend yourself. But don't do it. Just look at the accuser flatly and say "Interesting" and walk away.

yes, thank you. I appreciate this advice. I came to this realization.