Frequent meltdowns and shutdowns

[vergil96]

Do you know how to deal with that? I go to therapy but there isn't enough time to discuss everything. How do I even address a massive problem like that? How to fix this overload? They happen even if I avoid my sensory issues that cause meltdowns.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Sensory overload, autistic burnout, meltdowns, shutdowns, feeling out of control, severely depressed with a negative view on life? All of this is, as we all know, is part of our condition to varying degrees.

Time to step back and examine what you're doing. When I say this, literally step outside yourself, as if you were observing another person, and take a good hard critique of your life. For a moment, a mental exercise, just shut off the emotions and just look at things logically and objectively.

Is it the people in my inner circle? Maybe I need "new people" because they're stressing me out with their drama and mental abuse? Is it the crappy food I eat and drink? Carbs and fatty foods are pro-inflammatory and hard on the brain and gut. Am I having a difficult time pacing myself at my job and daily activities? Would I do better with 4 or 5 "mini breaks" throughout the day instead of a single lunch break in the middle? Am I getting enough sleep? Would a melatonin, L-theanine, and chelated magnesium combo work? Am I eating too late in the evening? Am I spending too much time in front of the computer screen and not getting out in the sunshine for a bit of activity? When was the last time I walked barefoot in the grass or on a beach? When was the last time I just sat in the middle of a forest and listened to the wind in the trees? Am I not getting enough free time to relax and engage in my special interests?

Most of the time when we get ourselves "out of balance", it's not just one thing, but often a combination of little things that add up.

 

[Misty Avich]

Not saying this is for everyone, but I started taking antidepressants to help with my mood instability. I never really had shutdowns, but I had rage outbursts due to mood instability. I'd suddenly become all overaware of myself and feel a monster growl inside me and might erupt at any given moment, if someone said the wrong thing to me or something. This only occurred around close loved ones. I'd suddenly become fed up easily of smiling and being chilled, and instead go all sulky and snappy and it would sometimes escalate into an outburst involving me shouting, swearing, crying and slamming doors. For the sake of my loved ones and their sanity I went on antidepressants and I haven't had an outburst since, and it's been like 9 years now. I still have emotions, you understand, and often quite intense, but it doesn't cause me to fly up at loved ones, so I feel more in control and appreciative of my surroundings. That's the difference.

 

[vergil96]

Is it the people in my inner circle? Maybe I need "new people" because they're stressing me out with their drama and mental abuse? Is it the crappy food I eat and drink? Carbs and fatty foods are pro-inflammatory and hard on the brain and gut. Am I having a difficult time pacing myself at my job and daily activities? Would I do better with 4 or 5 "mini breaks" throughout the day instead of a single lunch break in the middle? Am I getting enough sleep? Would a melatonin, L-theanine, and chelated magnesium combo work? Am I eating too late in the evening? Am I spending too much time in front of the computer screen and not getting out in the sunshine for a bit of activity? When was the last time I walked barefoot in the grass or on a beach? When was the last time I just sat in the middle of a forest and listened to the wind in the trees? Am I not getting enough free time to relax and engage in my special interests?

Most of the time when we get ourselves "out of balance", it's not just one thing, but often a combination of little things that add up.

I agree, it seems like little things add up.

From the things you've mentioned it could be the people, university being too demanding in completely not academic ways (chaotic schedule, too much multitasking easy tasks, feeling self-conscious), my daily activities and housework stay disorganized, but because even if I try, nothing works like it's supposed to. I'm also not engaging in special interests, because I'm too tired to do it, and it sucks the life out of me. I'm big on healthy lifestyle and it helps me a lot.

 

[Rodafina]

I had to make major life changes to learn to function through meltdowns and shut downs. I moved to part-time work in a job that has relatively low expectations. I didn’t just avoid sensory stimuli, but started to build my life in a way where I could control and understand the sensory challenges I would meet in a day (as much as possible). And lastly, really focusing on sleep and rest.

As soon as I feel shut down coming on, I know it is time to sleep. Even if it is just spurts of sleep and naps (I have difficulty sleeping through the night), my brain needs the rest, and so much more of it than I had ever known.

 

[elgat0verde]

Hi rodafina

I have a question and please don't take it the wrong way.

How important is sleep for ND people?

I've come to realize that when I don't sleep enough is when I have the worst depressive/angry episodes

Is there a coorelation?

Thank you

 

[Outdated]

Hi @elgat0verde

Good sleep is crucial, it's a huge factor in our being able to tolerate all the things that upset us. Unfortunately when the outside world gets to us it stresses us out and makes it difficult to get to sleep. Kind of a catch 22 situation.

Through your other posts on the forum I understand that you're not in a very comfortable position in life at the moment and that probably makes sleep difficult too. I don't recommend drugs to help you sleep, they are helpful sometimes but you don't really get a proper sleep and you still feel groggy and tired afterwards.

There are a lot of little tricks that can help with getting regular sleep but lately I haven't had a lot of luck with that either.

Routine is one trick - going to bed at the same time every night even if you don't fall asleep straight away, trying to make it a habit.

Avoiding thinking for an hour before sleep is another trick. No social media, no internet, just watch TV or read a book or something.

The only thing that works for me, and it only works if I'm not too stressed about other things, is to focus on a favourite fantasy daydream while going to sleep. If I can focus on that properly it knocks all other thoughts out of my head.

 

[elgat0verde]

Hi @elgat0verde

Good sleep is crucial, it's a huge factor in our being able to tolerate all the things that upset us. Unfortunately when the outside world gets to us it stresses us out and makes it difficult to get to sleep. Kind of a catch 22 situation.

Through your other posts on the forum I understand that you're not in a very comfortable position in life at the moment and that probably makes sleep difficult too. I don't recommend drugs to help you sleep, they are helpful sometimes but you don't really get a proper sleep and you still feel groggy and tired afterwards.

There are a lot of little tricks that can help with getting regular sleep but lately I haven't had a lot of luck with that either.

Routine is one trick - going to bed at the same time every night even if you don't fall asleep straight away, trying to make it a habit.

Avoiding thinking for an hour before sleep is another trick. No social media, no internet, just watch TV or read a book or something.

The only thing that works for me, and it only works if I'm not too stressed about other things, is to focus on a favourite fantasy daydream while going to sleep. If I can focus on that properly it knocks all other thoughts out of my head.

Thank you!

Actually I've used fantasies to fall asleep for many, many years.

I imagine stories of superheroes I created

I am working also on making a routine as well and going to bed and waking up at the same time.

I used drugs on Sunday but all they did was mess up my routine and, as you said, make me groggy.

Thank you again for the great advice and the help

 

[Outdated]

Thank you again for the great advice and the help

And if you find something that works, please let the rest of us know.

 

[elgat0verde]

And if you find something that works, please let the rest of us know.

Of course!

What I can recommend is catnip tea

I've used it before and it works wonders for me to get me sleepy.

Eat dinner at least an hour before bed or even before and let it be light, that helps me sleep better.

Reading helps too

And I personally love cold weather so I try and keep my room as cold as possible, I feel really comfortable sleeping being cold and smuggling in my covers

 

[Rodafina]

Hi rodafina

I have a question and please don't take it the wrong way.

How important is sleep for ND people?

I've come to realize that when I don't sleep enough is when I have the worst depressive/angry episodes

Is there a coorelation?

Thank you

I can’t speak for all NDs, but for me it is extremely important. I’m the same as you, without enough sleep, all the bad stuff in my brain starts happening.

Unfortunately, I have never done well sleeping for a solid chunk of 6-8 hours through the night. So, I had to embrace the idea of sleeping when I can. Probably three 3-hour chunks every 24 hours.

@330 helped me realize how helpful sleep is when I feel shutdown coming on. It is the only sure reset once I am feeling badly and overwhelmed. When all the lights are even brighter, the smells even stronger, and the need to speak more difficult, I know it is time for sleeping.

 

[vergil96]

I moved to part-time work in a job that has relatively low expectations.

Hm, makes sense. Not that I necessarily can do that this term, I'm just afraid of the multitasking and chaos, autism or not, it works extremely poorly for me, task switching is way too time and effort consuming. It's just not for the type of mind that I have, it works very well for tasks that require consistent depth, but not multitasking. I also cannot figure out completely different times of the classes, because I have major organizational problems, trying harder to stay on task only makes it worse. Everyone thought / thinks I have ADHD, because I keep on losing things and being late. It's like... I can figure it out, but it takes a lot of effort, one piece of the puzzle changes and it falls down, it causses a chain reaction, for example I have a class one two hours later. I plan not to eat lunch, but it turns out I'm dying from hunger just before when I plan to leave or get tired, because I did one laundry too much and zone out for half an hour also just before leaving.

I functioned much better at work and I was surprised that I was able to work overtime and didn't feel tired, because I had just one task and the schedule was everyday the same - I could figure out the right times for different things once and for good.

But anyway, I had no problems when I had less classes and could do other things at the times that I wanted.

As soon as I feel shut down coming on, I know it is time to sleep.

I get stuck when taking a shower. I can't fall asleep dirty. It's disturbing to have dirty skin and stink (I have a strong natural smell and have to shower twice a day to look presentable, not just my own opinion)

Even if it is just spurts of sleep and naps (I have difficulty sleeping through the night), my brain needs the rest, and so much more of it than I had ever known.

That would be a good idea, but I find it difficult to fall asleep. Not just during the day, in general, I find everything disturbing, light, sounds, smells, dirty skin, hunger, everything keeps me awake.

 

[vergil96]

How important is sleep for ND people?

I can't speak for others, but I can't focus and feel irritable if I have even 7.5 h of sleep instead of 8. On some days I need 9 or 10 hours. I need a lot of sleep and downtime before it, it takes me approximately 3 hours to get ready for sleep: shower and other hygiene activities, supper, cleaning, then watching something or reading. (I do read the internet, but only things that I'm sure won't be inflammatory) It's neccessary to calm down enough to sleep. I also find it easier to get quality sleep and fall asleep quicker if I incorporate physical activity, can be sport but can also be a half an hour walk outside - it can be useful for example to go for groceries.

What I can recommend is catnip tea

Herbs work the same way as medication, they are just weaker and can have more side effects. I used to drink lemon balm tea in the evening, but it gives me stomach pains (it's my stomach ulcers). It's better to avoid it, and I found out by accident, that it could be placebo effect, because when I switched to regular warm tea that I just like the taste of, it works the same.

Also a trick - turn off most lights, leave just the night lamp in the bedroom and small dark lights in other rooms. You'll be surprised.

 

[tazz]

I didn’t just avoid sensory stimuli, but started to build my life in a way where I could control and understand the sensory challenges I would meet in a day (as much as possible).

I'm just getting to grips with this myself. I've concluded I'm somewhat fearful of where this will take me. But slowly I'm taking the steps I need to change things. It's surprising just how deeply my "old" way of life is rooted. I keep doing things without really thinking about them and then only afterwards do I stop and think heck that's exactly the behaviour that I'm trying to avoid. For example taking on jobs that I know cause my anxiety to boil over. I should just say "no" and put my effort into creating something new and more appropriate for my needs.

 

[vergil96]

It is the only sure reset once I am feeling badly and overwhelmed. When all the lights are even brighter, the smells even stronger, and the need to speak more difficult, I know it is time for sleeping.

That how I feel recently. It seems like everything is brighter, louder, stinkier etc. than it usually is. It's fatigue, but it makes it easier to have a meltdown when the threshold for being triggered becomes lower. (I don't do anything harmful, I mostly get panic attacks, but it's really awful and draining, can waste me the whole day).

I'm having summer break now, and it's always like... when adrenaline from exams stress goes down, I feel the fatigue more for some time and have e.g. headaches (now I wonder if my migraines are really migraines or if they're headache + sensory stuff becoming more pronounced) before it gets better. But I really shouldn't get tat exhausted in the first place. Last weekend I couldn't do anything and couldn't speak or when I could, I had a hard time hearing others (they sounded borderline gibberish) and getting the second bottom of what they were saying, because it took so much effort to distinguish words in the first place. It's awful, but I think I shouldn't have gotten to such a place in the first place. I'm abusing my brain somehow and it can't keep up. I have rest, but I'm worried that if the fuel is still leaking, it will be impossible to charge back up to 100%.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hi rodafina

I have a question and please don't take it the wrong way.

How important is sleep for ND people?

I've come to realize that when I don't sleep enough is when I have the worst depressive/angry episodes

Is there a coorelation?

Thank you

Just to add some science to this, do understand that the autistic brain IS anatomically and physiologically different than a "normal brain" on many levels, from how the cells are distributed within the brain, to the mix of different types of cells within the brain, to the cells themselves having a different morphology, to the concentrations of different neurotransmitters, the immunological functions, etc. There is a ton of science on this topic that, if you aren't focused upon the medical model of autism, one might think that autism is purely a psychological and psychiatric condition. It is NOT. So, when I say WE have to take care of ourselves differently, there's a darn good reason for it. "I just want to be normal." Sorry, that train left the station about the 10th week of gestation in our mother's womb. These are the cards that were dealt to us.

Just a tiny sample of evidence that would suggest that our brains are operating at a higher level of physiologic stress and highlights the importance of good, recuperative sleep, proper diet, and pacing ourselves differently than our neurotypical peers:

On the role of antioxidants and oxidative stress in autism: Natural Antioxidants: A Novel Therapeutic Approach to Autism Spectrum Disorders?.

On the role of sleep in autism:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/cracking-autisms-sleep-conundrum/
On the role of brain immunological functions in autism:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/i...system,thousands of postmortem brain samples.
https://www.moleculeralabs.com/autism-immune-system-dysfunction/

 

[tazz]

"I just want to be normal." Sorry, that train left the station about the 10th week of gestation in our mother's womb.

Loving the directness of this, although a little disconcerting

 

[Rodafina]

Just to add some science to this, do understand that the autistic brain IS anatomically and physiologically different than a "normal brain" on many levels, from how the cells are distributed within the brain, to the mix of different types of cells within the brain, to the cells themselves having a different morphology, to the concentrations of different neurotransmitters, the immunological functions, etc. There is a ton of science on this topic that, if you aren't focused upon the medical model of autism, one might think that autism is purely a psychological and psychiatric condition. It is NOT. So, when I say WE have to take care of ourselves differently, there's a darn good reason for it. "I just want to be normal." Sorry, that train left the station about the 10th week of gestation in our mother's womb. These are the cards that were dealt to us.

Just a tiny sample of evidence that would suggest that our brains are operating at a higher level of physiologic stress and highlights the importance of good, recuperative sleep, proper diet, and pacing ourselves differently than our neurotypical peers:

On the role of antioxidants and oxidative stress in autism: Natural Antioxidants: A Novel Therapeutic Approach to Autism Spectrum Disorders?.

On the role of sleep in autism:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/cracking-autisms-sleep-conundrum/
On the role of brain immunological functions in autism:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/i...system,thousands of postmortem brain samples.
https://www.moleculeralabs.com/autism-immune-system-dysfunction/

This is why learning about autism later in life, after a lifetime of not knowing, is such a wonderful relief.

The personal validation is relatively important, but the real value in knowing is to understand my own brain better and re-create my life in a way that fits my brain and gives me the best chance to take advantage of the things that I do well.

Just understanding the differences in the autistic brain is a great way to create a new life blueprint going forward. Scrap the old plan and make a new one that is more sustainable.

 

[Outdated]

(I have a strong natural smell and have to shower twice a day to look presentable, not just my own opinion)

but it gives me stomach pains (it's my stomach ulcers).

These two things are very likely the same problem - bacterial infection.

Except for a couple of specific types of medication there is only one cause of stomach ulcers - bacterial infection. Easily cured with a course of antibiotics. See your doctor but don't ask him, tell him.
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/stomach-ulcers
People also have a culture of bacteria living on their skin, the same bacteria that should be living in their gut. If that culture is weakened then foreign bacteria can also start living on the skin and in the gut. Foreign bacteria forming a permanent culture on your skin will give you a strong body odour. Unfortunately this means you'll shower more often and your own bacteria won't get a chance to reestablish themselves - you keep killing them with soap.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

This is why learning about autism later in life, after a lifetime of not knowing, is such a wonderful relief.

The personal validation is relatively important, but the real value in knowing is to understand my own brain better and re-create my life in a way that fits my brain and gives me the best chance to take advantage of the things that I do well.

Just understanding the differences in the autistic brain is a great way to create a new life blueprint going forward. Scrap the old plan and make a new one that is more sustainable.

I had to change my response from "agree" to "winner" on this post.

Very well put. Hits the major points very concisely.

This concept of "personal validation", is important, and why we need to do more research on the medical model of autism. Once we have a better sense of WHY we are different and that the psychology and psychiatry is secondary, not primary, it helps with the personal validation, as well as, opening one's mind to making those "new life blueprints".

If you have personal validation, you don't need to waste the foolish and disappointing mental energy on trying to receive validation from others.