Friendly or flirting?

[Liambruno]

I have the same issue as some other guys here: I've been accused of flirting when I'm just trying to be friendly. Going the other way, I've been told that girls were showing serious interest in me when I thought they were just being nice. So maybe it's something about being REALLY nice to just one person? But even that makes me uncomfortable, because I'd prefer to think that people can just be friendly without the threat of an unwanted romantic tension. It's also creepy.

 

[Adora]

This brings back a lot of memories for me,I use to get very confused with who was being friendly with me or who was flirting and went years not knowing a guy that I knew once wanted to be more than friends but I have mistaken friendliness with flirtation which was a huge embarrassment for me at the time,But I'm not sure if my flirtation radar is any better now because I still struggle with what people want which is confusing.

 

[Judge]

This brings back a lot of memories for me,I use to get very confused with who was being friendly with me or who was flirting and went years not knowing a guy that I knew once wanted to be more than friends but I have mistaken friendliness with flirtation which was a huge embarrassment for me at the time,But I'm not sure if my flirtation radar is any better now because I still struggle with what people want which is confusing.

Yeah. Looking back on my life I have no reason to believe this is just another trait that I could ever actually improve upon.

Funny though to think in general perhaps that females in my presence probably felt more at ease with me for just this reason.

 

[CeasarKungPow]

I do take things so literally that someone would have to tell me, "This is flirting" and then proceed.

Ha Ha. I've been in situations where I've been told that someone was flirting with me. Totally clueless on this subject. I'm a guy and being expected to make a move adds so much pressure. I sometimes do get that someone was flirting with me, weeks or months too late though as my mind replays it's movies. ha ha

 

[Catlover614]

Ha Ha. I've been in situations where I've been told that someone was flirting with me. Totally clueless on this subject. I'm a guy and being expected to make a move adds so much pressure. I sometimes do get that someone was flirting with me, weeks or months too late though as my mind replays it's movies. ha ha

Ha ha I figured a nice man was flirting with me too....2 months after the actual occurrence, lol. He was long gone by the time it hit me and found another woman. I guess that means I wasn't supposed to be with him?!?!

 

[Catlover614]

This is definitely flirting

 

[Catlover614]

Some good advice;

 

[Catlover614]

 

[Kupu2]

This one has gotten me into SO much trouble. Me instigating and receiving. The occassional dangerous situation, if I'm honest.

I still have no idea how to interpret signals. And I am still very clumsy at giving. I am very reconciled to letting that part of my evolution be relegated to the past. My hormones have left the building and all desire to be anything more than friends has dissipated.

I do not envy my boys their future. I just hope their NT dad can gently guide them. (Cough...splutter...nervous laugh...cough...)

 

[wyverary]

This is a question I've grappled with for a long time. Short answer: In my experience...the biggest indication for me is if they offer to exchange numbers (isn't the 21st century great?). Then, when you are at a comfortable distance, you can ask flat-out, via text: "I'm just curious; were you flirting with me earlier?" It's worked for me, albeit not always flawlessly; but I've been surprised at people's honesty in their response. YMMV, of course. Texting has always been easier for me.

 

[garnetflower13]

I was always oblivious to people flirting with me. I think that one way to tell if someone is interested in you, is if they make an effort to see more of you. Meaning that they ask for a phone number, or mention a cool place to visit and then mention that they go there a lot (if they are shy). I missed so many non verbal romantic cues and had crushes on so many men who were not interested in me, that I finally decided to stop trying.

 

[NovaScotia Aspie]

I was always oblivious to people flirting with me. I think that one way to tell if someone is interested in you, is if they make an effort to see more of you. Meaning that they ask for a phone number, or mention a cool place to visit and then mention that they go there a lot (if they are shy). I missed so many non verbal romantic cues and had crushes on so many men who were not interested in me, that I finally decided to stop trying.

Yes , it probably is the most frustrating thing about having AS . It's a shame , I function fairly well in all other endeavours but am lost when trying to establish a romantic relationship.

 

[NotStrangeJustDifferent]

I wish I could help, but I can't tell if someone is being friendly with me or not, and I wouldn't know if someone was flirting with me unless someone actually told me I was being flirted with. It can all be so frustrating.

 

[AspieOtaku]

This is definitely flirting

Aww poor lady seems desperate, I found it kinda cute how she was being all flirty but she was making the man uncomfortable. I hope she finds the right man but she is coming on too hard and fast.

 

[Judge]

That's the worst. Someone who would actually invade your physical space, yet have no real or serious emotional intent. In my own experience when that has happened the female in question always had serious intent. I cannot really imagine that happening to me where they had no serious intent. Though I know it can and does happen to others. Ugh. Beyond awkward.

But then wait a minute. I was once "catfished" online over a very long period of time. I still agonize over that, wondering what their true intent was. People can be so awful- and unpredictable! Sometimes I'm not sure which is worse.

Flirting:
1. behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.

 

[AspieOtaku]

That's the worst. Someone who would actually invade your physical space, yet have no real or serious emotional intent. In my own experience when that has happened the female in question always had serious intent. I cannot really imagine that happening to me where they had no serious intent. Though I know it can and does happen to others. Ugh. Beyond awkward.

But then wait a minute. I was once "catfished" online over a very long period of time. I still agonize over that, wondering what their true intent was. People can be so awful- and unpredictable! Sometimes I'm not sure which is worse.

Flirting:
1. behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.

That man in the vid was probably already married, and had better things to do on his mind and stressed out and she was annoying the hell outta him and making him uncomfortable.

 

[Mia]

That man in the vid was probably already married, and had better things to do on his mind and stressed out and she was annoying the hell outta him and making him uncomfortable.

Pretty sure the entire thing was staged for the person taking the vid, it was not real at all. It's not a good example of flirting as the woman was playing a game as a joke.

 

[AspieOtaku]

Pretty sure the entire thing was staged for the person taking the vid, it was not real at all. It's not a good example of flirting as the woman was playing a game as a joke.

Still if it was real it is not a way to approach random strangers, most people dont like being touched or approached outta nowhere like that!

 

[Mia]

Still if it was real it is not a way to approach random strangers, most people dont like being touched or approached outta nowhere like that!

I agree, that's why she was doing it. Both to annoy and create a reaction of some sort. Used to know someone who did that, she often acted like a child with older males, for attention of any kind.

 

[Judge]

Pretty sure the entire thing was staged for the person taking the vid, it was not real at all. It's not a good example of flirting as the woman was playing a game as a joke.

I'd hope so. I'd think in terms of the most conventional definition of flirting, it would not likely involve overtly invading someone's personal space. When that happens, I have to assume there is another agenda in progress. Which could be anything from sexual to criminal in nature.