You say this as if it is an either/or statement. In actual fact the two are not related, the ability to maintain friends is not a reflection on you. People themselves are not annoying. Actions (like touching people's faces) can be unwelcome and annoying, but a person themselves can never be annoying. People have often found my actions annoying, from ignoring them, to talking too much, to changing the subject frequently. I now understand what certain people find annoying and (for the most part and if I am in a good mood...) I will refrain from doing them. One of my colleagues recently remarked that I am less annoying than I used to be. This is incorrect, I am exactly the same person, I just act differently around him because I need him to be co-operative and work for me. So you are not annoying.
As for fun, well that really depends on the person, I find going to theme parks with my children fun, my kids describe me as "fun". My NT husband finds playing war-games fun, his war-gaming friends describe him as "fun". I do not enjoy sitting in pubs drinking foul tasting poison, so my colleagues do not describe me as "fun". You are fun to be around in the right environment and if you ever find the right friend of group of friends who share an interest with you. So you are fun.
As to have I maintained friends, well yes, if I choose to, but it often takes more effort than I am wiling to put in. I had friends at school, university, various work places, nct when I was pregnant and most of them drifted away. However, thanks to facebook I recently renewed my university friendships after 20 years. It just took for me to reach out, make the effort and travel. I am currently gravitating toward the parents of my children's friends because it is convenient.
Does this make me sad? Occasionally, I often see friends that have drifted away going on holiday together and seeming being close. But then when I ask myself, do I want to be there? Do I want to see them every week? The answer is always, 'hell no'!
So is it an Asperger's trait to drift in and out of friendships? Possibly. Does it bother me? Nope, not at all. It doesn't bother me because I know I can change it and I occasionally do. If I act how people expect me to act, travel to places I don't want to be and listen to a lot of boring conversations, then I can maintain close friendships. I don't often do this because I have better things to turn my attention to.
