Generational Gap?

[MildredHubble]

Yup! Every generation has its "distressing situation." Some are more distressing than others. It shapes who they are for the rest of their lives. This is probably the last US presidency that will be held by an early Boomer. (Unless Trump wins again... ) It will be late Boomers (born 1956 to 1966) for a while and then GenX will have its turn.

I'm looking forward to the GenX president! Krist Novoselic for president!!!

 

[Rodafina]

I wonder if these generation gaps also start to close as we all age. Kind of like the notion with dating. I guess everyone could have a different opinion on this, but it’s like comparing a 60 year old and a 70 year old who are dating to a 20 year old and a 30 year old. No judgments on anyone, but it seems like a bigger difference between 20 and 30 as compared to 60 and 70. Almost as if we we all live life and age and things like generational gaps don’t matter as much anymore.

 

[Princess Viola]

Yeah it's like seeing someone in their late 20s dating someone who's 18-19 years old feels kind of...weird to me. But even someone in their late 20s in a relationship with someone in their late 30s-early 40s doesn't feel weird.

What's that one weird rule people use for relationship age gaps? Half your age plus 7 or whatever. I don't really get it myself.

 

[Au Naturel]

I wonder if these generation gaps also start to close as we all age. Kind of like the notion with dating. I guess everyone could have a different opinion on this, but it’s like comparing a 60 year old and a 70 year old who are dating to a 20 year old and a 30 year old. No judgments on anyone, but it seems like a bigger difference between 20 and 30 as compared to 60 and 70. Almost as if we we all live life and age and things like generational gaps don’t matter as much anymore.

I'm not so sure about that. A 30-20 marriage will be frowned upon by most people I know. The power differential is too great. The experience differential is quite dramatic. Nothing they can legally do about it, but socially most people would strongly discourage it.

The frowning has good reason. 30 is 50% more experienced than 20. 70 is only 17% more experienced than 60.

More important is the rate of mental development. A twenty-year-old mind is experiencing a much greater rate of change than 30. Hasn't stopped developing new stuff yet. That 50% experience differential gets multiplied. Twenty is far less than 2/3 as mature as the same person at 30.

 

[Rodafina]

I'm not so sure about that. A 30-20 marriage will be frowned upon by most people I know. The power differential is too great. The experience differential is quite dramatic. Nothing they can legally do about it, but socially most people would strongly discourage it.

The frowning has good reason. 30 is 50% more experienced than 20. 70 is only 17% more experienced than 60.

More important is the rate of mental development. A twenty-year-old mind is experiencing a much greater rate of change than 30. Hasn't stopped developing new stuff yet. That 50% experience differential gets multiplied. Twenty is far less than 2/3 as mature as the same person at 30.

Yes, I think we are agreeing again, although I didn’t state my case very clearly. But I agree that a 20 year old to 30 year old relationship poses great risk for power and maturity differentials.

But what do you think about a 60 to 70 year old relationship? To me, this seems more appropriate. As if the difference between a 60 year old and a 70 year old is not as great.

 

[Au Naturel]

Yes, I think we are agreeing again, although I didn’t state my case very clearly. But I agree that a 20 year old to 30 year old relationship poses great risk for power and maturity differentials.

But what do you think about a 60 to 70 year old relationship? To me, this seems more appropriate. As if the difference between a 60 year old and a 70 year old is not as great.

Once you pass the early 20s, the mind stops growing and assumes an adult conformation. It still changes but that's environmental and not biological. Hormones have calmed down. And by 30 you've experienced 3/4 that of a 40-year-old. A 30-40 split isn't at all problematic. Typically the guy will be the older partner because male brains mature a bit later than females and a few more years can make you a better provider. We may be in an age of feminism but the old biological imperatives are still there in the subconscious.

A really large age differential turns the younger partner into a trophy spouse. Some people don't mind being a trophy.

A 60-70 split involves a 17% differential in experience and the younger partner may have the power advantage. The 70-year-old may be starting to lose intellectual sharpness and their body will be starting to fail. (I'm 67 myself and I know I've lost so much since I was 60.) If the younger partner is a woman, statistics say she might look forward to a long widowhood.

But they are both old enough to take care of themselves, so it doesn't matter.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I'm not so sure about that. A 30-20 marriage will be frowned upon by most people I know. The power differential is too great. The experience differential is quite dramatic. Nothing they can legally do about it, but socially most people would strongly discourage it.

The frowning has good reason. 30 is 50% more experienced than 20. 70 is only 17% more experienced than 60.

More important is the rate of mental development. A twenty-year-old mind is experiencing a much greater rate of change than 30. Hasn't stopped developing new stuff yet. That 50% experience differential gets multiplied. Twenty is far less than 2/3 as mature as the same person at 30.

How do you measure experience, though? This is assuming all people of the same age have had the same experience. I've met young people who lost a parent or sibling, and were much more mature than their peers as a consequence.

I also don't understand this:

Typically the guy will be the older partner because male brains mature a bit later than females and a few more years can make you a better provider. We may be in an age of feminism but the old biological imperatives are still there in the subconscious.

You do at least specify that the brains mature differently, and maybe that's true. But, biological difference aside, I've never sensed that women mature faster as people. People tend to say they do, but the women I've met can be just as petty, vengeful, prejudiced, or spiteful as men.

 

[Au Naturel]

How do you measure experience, though? This is assuming all people of the same age have had the same experience. I've met young people who lost a parent or sibling, and were much more mature than their peers as a consequence.

I also don't understand this:



You do at least specify that the brains mature differently, and maybe that's true. But, biological difference aside, I've never sensed that women mature faster as people. People tend to say they do, but the women I've met can be just as petty, vengeful, prejudiced, or spiteful as men.

Maturing faster is a biological thing. It impacts psychology but it isn't the same thing. For example, impulse control increases while hormone levels settle down. OTOH, many people naturally mature into petty, vengeful, prejudiced, or spiteful people. Those traits have little to do with age.

At any given age, we've all had the same amount of experience. Some experiences are different than others. Some people make better use of their experiences than others. Laws and social mores only concern themselves with arbitrary lines established by best-guess estimates for average people. Lately, a little bit of science has been injected into the discussion but not much.

 

[Forest Cat]

You do at least specify that the brains mature differently, and maybe that's true. But, biological difference aside, I've never sensed that women mature faster as people.

When I think back, the girls were more mature than us guys when I was a teenager and in my 20s. We guys didn't really know what were doing. Took some time before we grew up. If we ever did, sometimes I'm not sure. There might be something to it, that women mature faster in some ways. Maybe they have to, because guys don't so someone has to be the sensible one.

 

[Au Naturel]

When I think back, the girls were more mature than us guys when I was a teenager and in my 20s. We guys didn't really know what were doing. Took some time before we grew up. If we ever did, sometimes I'm not sure. There might be something to it, that women mature faster in some ways. Maybe they have to, because guys don't so someone has to be the sensible one.

Girls and women have more to lose.

 

[Owliet]

I feel like there's some profound difference between current teens and the people who are in their mid to late twenties, while the people who are older by ten or twenty years are quite similar- regarding mindset and identity specifically. But maybe that's my quarter life crisis

You know you are getting older when you make jokes or references that you think people should get because they always would be understanding and then realize that there is a big difference in that. I once made a Simpsons reference in class, i had ONE kid who watched the show understand that reference. The others just looked at me. I realized that day that I was one of those teachers who made jokes that were just not in anymore. =(

find that origins make more differences than generations. So rich childs and poor childs of the same generations do have more differences than rich people of different generations.

Yes, I agree with this also.

I actually have more in common with, and get along better with, people who are either much younger than me or much older than me. I have very little in common with anyone my age (28-29) through like age 30 to 35.

See, when I was younger, I preferred trying to be friends with old people 60 + (so my grandparents basically) to the extent that a family friend was worried that because I kept approaching older people that I would be easily vulnerable because I had no idea about self preservation and safety measures because I was too trusting…But then, there was a change in interacting with people on a more regular basis or i developed more maturely than i thought whilst at university but i find that even now I have more in common with people my age range but maybe I am at the point where I can mumble “get off my grass” and stuff. It’s nice to talk about shared interests and nostalgic things. And of course, have people who actually understand me making Simpsons references and were actually alive and functional when most of the things that influenced me growing up were important. I am a lot more patient though with younger people, so that‘s really good.=D

I am left puzzled by a lot of things about Gen Z though, particularly their sense of humor and their obsession with phones and social media. We didn't even have smartphones or Instagram when I was a teen. We had sidekick phones, and Myspace.

Oh yes, humor, obsession with social media and being social media famous. What is TikTok and why is my bookstore having Booktok suggestions, what is that? why are there so many labels for so many different things that just used to only have a few that made sense? Why change meanings of words that were GOOD and I understood what they meant to mean something else? Why do things need to be filmed all the time? Why does everything have to be online?

Back in my day…yeah, I’m turning into the “get of my grass” here, I had internet, I used deviantart, I used fanfiction.net (good times) and fandom forums but bebo and MySpace and MSN messenger was amazing. I also had a phone but I was more interested in changing my ring tone to ..I think it was lion king music.

People always think I'm Gen Z though because I apparently look like I'm under 21,

This happens to me a lot and whilst I get the ”oh its good, you’ll get happy about it when you’re much older” argument,its really annoying when someone looks at my ID and goes “ Wie alt ist sie?!” To my dad, like I am not even there, and then make a comment about my age, how I dont look like it and then laugh about it afterwards.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Kan je ook nederlands praten?

I'll answer in English both parents passed no more opportunity to practice. Wife has never seen me speak I sort of read it OK like a small child need much more practice. for some reason i some have fluency reading a number of European languages due to their similarity.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

You know you are getting older when you make jokes or references that you think people should get because they always would be understanding and then realize that there is a big difference in that. I once made a Simpsons reference in class, i had ONE kid who watched the show understand that reference. The others just looked at me. I realized that day that I was one of those teachers who made jokes that were just not in anymore. =(

Yes, I agree with this also.

See, when I was younger, I preferred trying to be friends with old people 60 + (so my grandparents basically) to the extent that a family friend was worried that because I kept approaching older people that I would be easily vulnerable because I had no idea about self preservation and safety measures because I was too trusting…But then, there was a change in interacting with people on a more regular basis or i developed more maturely than i thought whilst at university but i find that even now I have more in common with people my age range but maybe I am at the point where I can mumble “get off my grass” and stuff. It’s nice to talk about shared interests and nostalgic things. And of course, have people who actually understand me making Simpsons references and were actually alive and functional when most of the things that influenced me growing up were important. I am a lot more patient though with younger people, so that‘s really good.=D

Oh yes, humor, obsession with social media and being social media famous. What is TikTok and why is my bookstore having Booktok suggestions, what is that? why are there so many labels for so many different things that just used to only have a few that made sense? Why change meanings of words that were GOOD and I understood what they meant to mean something else? Why do things need to be filmed all the time? Why does everything have to be online?

Back in my day…yeah, I’m turning into the “get of my grass” here, I had internet, I used deviantart, I used fanfiction.net (good times) and fandom forums but bebo and MySpace and MSN messenger was amazing. I also had a phone but I was more interested in changing my ring tone to ..I think it was lion king music.

This happens to me a lot and whilst I get the ”oh its good, you’ll get happy about it when you’re much older” argument,its really annoying when someone looks at my ID and goes “ Wie alt ist sie?!” To my dad, like I am not even there, and then make a comment about my age, how I dont look like it and then laugh about it afterwards.

My wife looked 16 when I meet her she was 21.She stilll looks 20 years younger than she is .

Did your parents ever make dutch food? Do you know "drop" en "stamppot"?

Yes, My Wife learned a few dishes from her croquettes bami she goes to the Dutch store and they think she is Dutch.