The Reaver of Darkness
Active Member
As a male on the spectrum, I find it much easier to make friendships with women than with men. I used to think it was because of how girly I am, but I now think that's not much of a factor after all. However I have spent a lot of time studying women and men, and I think I have enough experience to shed some light on this phenomenon.
Men and women tend to treat the same sex differently from the opposite sex. Each is more willing to open up to the same sex, but also judges the same sex based on their behavior and social status. Women tend to do this most strongly, sorting themselves and other women into social strata, and in some cases they can be downright mean to women who don't conform to group behavior or dress standards. Men do this somewhat with other men as well, but mostly are more willing to remain friends with men of a different social status. Instead they tend to be more likely to haze men of a lower status, or pass them up for favors. But it has less effect on their ability to remain friends and hang out together.
Men tend to treat women as a bit of an enigma, and are thus willing to put up with or ignore almost any strange behavior from them. Straight men tend to give women a lot of privilege as well--especially when not in a relationship with them--and act as "yes men" around women, never being willing to tell them what they are doing is wrong. Gay men often make friends with women but still usually spend more time with men, and still open up to their male friends more, however it is a lot more common for gay men to open up to women.
Women tend to treat men as a sort of role model or authoritative figure. They often look up to men and will notice their positive traits while forgetting their negative traits. It is easy for a man to make friends with women even if he's very low on the social ladder, as women aren't very judgmental of the men they keep as friends. Gay women may treat men differently from straight women but it's hard to tell because there's so much overlap--but it seems as though gay and straight women treat men pretty similarly for the most part.
I've never had difficulty making friends with women, at least not when I actually make the attempt. But if I keep to myself, other women will keep to themselves. Men, on the other hand, I find difficult to make friends with, however in any team-building social situation some of the men will reach out to me and bring me into the group. Some men are fine with abandoning a low-performance group member but some want every group member to have an equal chance. I learned that most strongly while in the military.
Now these analyses are just what I have seen and won't match everyone you meet; they are merely trends and will probably vary by culture. I received most of my social experience from people in the USA, or people I met online. But I thought this information might be useful in answering your question.
Men and women tend to treat the same sex differently from the opposite sex. Each is more willing to open up to the same sex, but also judges the same sex based on their behavior and social status. Women tend to do this most strongly, sorting themselves and other women into social strata, and in some cases they can be downright mean to women who don't conform to group behavior or dress standards. Men do this somewhat with other men as well, but mostly are more willing to remain friends with men of a different social status. Instead they tend to be more likely to haze men of a lower status, or pass them up for favors. But it has less effect on their ability to remain friends and hang out together.
Men tend to treat women as a bit of an enigma, and are thus willing to put up with or ignore almost any strange behavior from them. Straight men tend to give women a lot of privilege as well--especially when not in a relationship with them--and act as "yes men" around women, never being willing to tell them what they are doing is wrong. Gay men often make friends with women but still usually spend more time with men, and still open up to their male friends more, however it is a lot more common for gay men to open up to women.
Women tend to treat men as a sort of role model or authoritative figure. They often look up to men and will notice their positive traits while forgetting their negative traits. It is easy for a man to make friends with women even if he's very low on the social ladder, as women aren't very judgmental of the men they keep as friends. Gay women may treat men differently from straight women but it's hard to tell because there's so much overlap--but it seems as though gay and straight women treat men pretty similarly for the most part.
I've never had difficulty making friends with women, at least not when I actually make the attempt. But if I keep to myself, other women will keep to themselves. Men, on the other hand, I find difficult to make friends with, however in any team-building social situation some of the men will reach out to me and bring me into the group. Some men are fine with abandoning a low-performance group member but some want every group member to have an equal chance. I learned that most strongly while in the military.
Now these analyses are just what I have seen and won't match everyone you meet; they are merely trends and will probably vary by culture. I received most of my social experience from people in the USA, or people I met online. But I thought this information might be useful in answering your question.
