I am not looking for sex again I had to say that. Just an friendship with a single girl but that is impossible to achieve when they don't even bother to show up.
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Got the cold shoulder and might get discharged
- Thread starter Markness
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Yes, I mentioned before wanting a relationship but I would be fine with a friendship. Sadly, there are so many cultural pressures in my area that split men and women apart. There are even spouses of both sexes that disallow their partners from having platonic friends of the same sex the controlling spouse is of.
Just a friendship with a single girl. Right. But single girls “don’t even bother to show up” so that you can be “friends” with them, and you have no use for any woman who isn’t single. Listen to yourself. I’m not trying to be mean to you. You just need a serious attitude adjustment. I don’t know any women who would want to associate with a guy who would only talk to her if and only if she’s single.
I’ve never been to a therapy group, so I guess maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that I don’t know how they work.
The biggest problem is that married woman with their husband's that I don't know come up to me to talk all the time 5 but never once has an single girl I don't know has ever came up and talked to me 9. This is more into Church and Church events as with life group they don't bother showing up.
@Tony Ramirez
A. What do the numbers "5" and "9" mean in your Post # 26 in this thread?
B. How often do you speak to people you don't know?
A. What do the numbers "5" and "9" mean in your Post # 26 in this thread?
B. How often do you speak to people you don't know?
So, in 12 years of isolation only twice has a woman approached and engaged with me, once was to proposition me at a time I was very shy and terrified at being inexperienced. The other was when a co-worker went out of her way on her last day at work to find me in my lab and thank me for being sweet and a nice person to work with (She was married). The latter was one of the triggers that convinced me to like myself, get off my ass, and put myself out to approach women and explore relationships. That paid off.
I notice like my Church and life group the same 10 or so people post here while others you never hear from again.
Your from Texas I though it would be easier down south more woman being open but it's just as bad as New York city but 90% of them are not even native to New York.
It doesn’t matter what state. Autism is always going to make you the odd person out.
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that she was feeling overwhelmed. I think quite a lot of us here would do something like that if abruptly approached in a situation where anxiety is always high. And if someone is in a therapy group... decent chance their anxiety is high at all times to begin with.
Therapy groups have their uses but they typically arent for making connections of any sort. That's simply not the purpose. Not that it CANT happen, mind you, but it's going to be darned rare. Particularly when those involved are on the spectrum and have difficulty connecting even at the best of times.
Yeah I'm going to second what @Kalinychta said. Every bit of it.
You want a girlfriend? You wont get one right now... simple as that. It's not going to happen until you have a DRASTIC attitude change. Which you need. Badly. You want just a FRIEND who happens to be a girl? Yeah... same thing. Wont happen without an attitude change. Even if you did get one... it DEFINITELY wouldnt last long.
You obsess over girlfriends or "single girls" *constantly*, it's pretty much THE thing you post about, but you also always talk about how other people who arent in those categories are worth nothing or "unwanted". And people of ANY gender generally dont want to hang out with someone who views others with such incredible disdain.
These girls you're so obsessed with... do you seriously think they wont spot that? If they're NTs, or empathic in any way... believe me, they'll spot it. Heck, based on things you've said and your overall attitude I'm going to guess that even many who DONT fit those two categories will STILL spot it.
I mean, good grief, it even shows HEAVILY in your posts online. Which are just text at a distance! Your posts are freaking dripping with it!
This advice might be harsh as heck and sound kinda mean, but you know what, nothing else is getting through. And sometimes the harsh truth is the only advice that can even remotely work. This is certainly one of those situations.
Shape up already.
What part of they don't show up you don't understand.
And I believe in a previous post of his where he voiced that complaint I suggested he befriend those couples
- It is good practice at being sociable. And, if he can charm a couple he can charm a single woman.
- Women will notice how you interact with others. Treating those couples well will be noted.
- Couples may be an entré with any single friends.
I’ve never understood why you think that single women are supposed to seek you out while you just stand there like a bump on a log. Church events and life groups are about people getting together to talk about religious stuff, right? They have nothing to do with single women “showing up” for the benefit of amorous single guys. The way you word your posts and the terms you use suggest that you are under the impression that women do view church events that way, and you act like you’re being cheated or something, like you’ve been lied to because single women “don’t bother” to “show up” and try to talk to you, as though they’ve promised you beforehand that they would. Drop the attitude of entitlement and stop being such a sourpuss. Give it a try and see what happens.
Nobody's beating up on him. As per the usual, it's an attempt to help. It always is...
Thing is, sugarcoating stuff like this does nobody any good... particularly the one who needs the help.
Something I always tell people IRL: If you have an opinion on something I'm doing, or if you have advice for me, or think there's something I need to do, or whatever... be blatant, blunt, and entirely honest with me... dont hold back. And then just hit me with it, full on. After all, how can I fix a problem if I dont *really* understand what that problem is, or the severity of it? If you sugarcoat it in an attempt to make me feel good or something like that... in the long run, that only hurts, as the problem wont truly get addressed, because how could I?
And that's how I deal with others too. To do any less would be to greatly disrespect them in my eyes.
And Tony here aint the only one that's gotten this from me. Heck, I think Markness here has gotten it from me a couple of times. As have a few others. Which includes very close friends IRL.
It's done because I care and simply want to help... nothing more, nothing less.
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