Grandparents Insulted & Disrespected my Identity

[Joshua the Writer]

Yes I know I read that, you don’t have to do it immediately if that’s what you want to do. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

True. However, if they said no to asking my parents about it, they'd say no to looking at the papers.

 

[Starfire]

True. However, if they said no to asking my parents about it, they'd say no to looking at the papers.

Possibly, but if that was the case the next time they said or implied that you didn’t have the diagnosis you have, if it bothers you, then you could give them a retort.

Maybe something like “what are your neurological qualifications backing that opinion?”, “how do you know, you haven’t even read the report written by a specialist?”, “oh yeah, prove that I don’t have it, I can prove that I do!”, “there are non so blind as those that will not see”, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink” etc etc. Feel free to use any or all of the above or whatever you prefer.

 

[china autie]

I suggest maybe saying neutral things like "you may be right" rather than trying to prove something to them thst they do not want to acknowledge.

You know you are autistic. We know you are autistic and we accept you for being you.

In the interest of preserving whatever relationship you have with your grands, it may be better to quietly make it a non-issue.

 

[Starfire]

I agree with @china autie thats probably a more diplomatic, and more in your best interests way to go about things than I suggested.

 

[All-Rounder]

Maybe ask your parents to help or tell them about your grandparents not easily accepting it when theyre back, unless you already thought about this. You can try to shed light together, better to have backup

 

[sisselcakes]

My grandparents (my Dad's parents), a couple days ago, said that I CAN'T identify as Autistic. I'm not sure how this convo came up anymore, but they said, "well, most people with Autism can't/don't talk" "you don't have sensory issues" "you are only pretending" "you don't have motor development delays" like she knows all about me. I even told them to ask my parents if they don't believe me. They said no. Yeah, that's right. They aren't gonna ask my parents about it because they know that my parents are going to give the opposite response from what they are saying. Exactly what I'd expect. They basically said that I looked on the internet on what autism is, and then acted a certain way based off of an apparent list of symptoms that I wanted, and then pretended to act that way. They even said I'd grow out of it. In my head, I was like, "What?!? That's the most stupid crap I've ever heard!" I don't respect or trust them anymore. When I was going to bed later that night, my grandma even hugged me and said, "I love you, I really do." Complete BS, that was. If you truly loved me, you'd respect my identity. I can't believe they could just betray me like this. However, I couldn't expect much else from a pair of misinformed people.

That whole thing brought up bad memories from middle school. Similar BS happened during that time, the only difference is it being between me and my classmates. That's where my trust issues came from.

You may be wondering where my parents where during all of this. They are currently in California celebrating their anniversary.

It's always hard for parents or grandparents to accept their child/grandchild is "different". It's denial, probably because they see you as you. They've always known you as you are and love you the way you are. They probably don't want to think their grandchild is different and/or they are ignorant about ASD. Give them some time.

It must be frustrating to get that response from them. You've finally learned something important about yourself that explains a lot to you about the way you see the world and the way you interact with others, to have people you care about dismiss it.