Grow up!

[Crossbreed]

I can remember feeling
very annoyed as a baby that could not talk yet, even though I knew what I wanted to say.

It is probably a good thing that you were unable to talk right at birth.
"Wow! that felt weird..."
would probably be a shock to most new parents...!

(I think that you need teeth

to make certain sounds correctly, anyway. ) whisper​

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I do this too sometimes, i call it something special, it has a proper name. With patience, they will take food from the hand. One must remain still and sing softly

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

What Susan and Simon have said about early infancy reminds me that as infants we have huge wisdom and insight, that sadly gets indoctrinated out of us. You were both in those days inferring a great deal in fact. Now inferring is my biggest hobby and I'm frequently better at it than many NTs.

 

[Progster]

All adults are grown-up kids, and being an adult often means masking these traits. People are rarely free to really be themselves, without consequence.

As @Misery says, when someone says 'grow up!' they actually mean, conform. Pehaps answer with, "but where's the fun in that?"

 

[SimonSays]

What Susan and Simon have said about early infancy reminds me that as infants we have huge wisdom and insight, that sadly gets indoctrinated out of us. You were both in those days inferring a great deal in fact.

Yes, and it reveals that in the child innocence, pre-egoic structure, awareness without overriding mental activity, there is a state of consciousness that couldn’t be recognised or expressed but was more real than what became the ‘real’ later.

this is why many spiritual practices talk about returning to that thoughtless state, and it’s not easy because there’s so much indoctrination through normal school system. Conformity is the purpose not just education. The brain is intentionally wired that way as we go through it. If we taught our kids in a more enlightened, right brain way, not focus on the left, who knows how much more we’d be.

especially those on the spectrum. I know in my case if I was taught in a way I could really learn, with awareness and enlightenment, working with my abilities not forcing me to learn in a way I was never designed to, I probably wouldn’t be here now writing this!

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Yes, and it reveals that in the child innocence, pre-egoic structure, awareness without overriding mental activity, there is a state of consciousness that couldn’t be recognised or expressed but was more real than what became the ‘real’ later.

...

especially those on the spectrum. I know in my case if I was taught in a way I could really learn, with awareness and enlightenment, working with my abilities not forcing me to learn in a way I was never designed to, I probably wouldn’t be here now writing this!

Yet in addition, I think it works with the ego-present and the left-brain active as well. Each of us has to find the right balance and not put up with an imbalance foisted on us. People tried to fool us with the false ego-present and the false left-brain active. It happens to give me energy if I assert those faculties my way and not their way (fallacies in logic), especially as some people tried to fool me with false ego-absent and false right-brain active as well. Whereas the balance that keeps you safe in the hazards you face is equally unique to you at this time.

 

[N2k12]

Not too long ago somebody said to me they thought I ought to grow up, that maybe it was time. I wasn’t exactly sure what they meant. I do still feel like a child in many ways.

I’m 57 years old and if I haven’t grown up, according to her, I’m probably never going to. Maybe this is as grown-up as I get.

And this person wasn’t even neuro typical either, which made it all the more surprising. Because in many ways she is very similar to me. And what’s wrong with being a bit childlike anyway?

I’ve been called a man-child before. I’m not sure what being an adult even means? Responsibilities? We all have them. Talking as if I have everything figured out? No. Big ego? Insisting on getting my way? Entitled? No. If that’s what it means to be an adult then I’m quite happy to be who I am.

Mate, i hear you. Been told this my entire life. 36 now. I personally beleive us ASD peoples reach a "plateau" where we stop growing mentally. I really do. And it hurts. I feel your pain

 

[SusanLR]

It is probably a good thing that you were unable to talk right at birth.
"Wow! that felt weird..."
would probably be a shock to most new parents...!

(I think that you need teeth

to make certain sounds correctly, anyway. ) whisper​

You need more than teeth!
Learning to pronounce words was hard enough even as the infant body grew.
Think of all the things a baby has to practice to be able to grow and acheive.
Walking, talking, eating, toilet training, brushing those teeth!
Oh, my. That one was a big deal for me. How I hated brushing my teeth.
Even up to around 8 yrs. old I gagged.
There's learning to read and write,play, ride a bike, etc.

Now imagine you're in that infant body that has not mastered any of the skills of life as a human yet,
but, put your mind as you know it now inside. That place in the brain we call thought.
The inner talk and understanding. The place that feels like what you call self inside the brain of
an infant and imagine how frustrating that would be.

Since most people can't remember any younger than 3 to 4 years old, it would be interesting to know
if we do have that consciousness capability from the start but can't remember it.
I've not known any in real life or if I did I was unaware.
There have been a few I've read about that can remember back to the day they were born.
How their minds thought, they didn't say.

First memory: In incubator with my mouth going like a fish out of water and knocking with my fists.
Second day: In the room with the rest with a baby straight jacket type thing that kept my hands
tied with the end of the sleeves, because I constantly scratched at my face.
Second day also: Being brought to my Mom and the nurse trying to get her to learn how to feed me.
I didn't want to take the bottle. Mom laid me down on the bed and started to go to the bathroom.
Nurse said never do that. Never leave a baby unattended even for a few minutes.
They can do things you'd never imagine.
Third day: Being in Mom's arms, being pushed in wheel chair to a car where a friend of my parents
was waiting with my Dad in the back seat. Nurse picked me up until Mom got in front seat by
the friend. She hands me to her.
Friend says to Dad, "Don't you want to hold your baby daughter for the first time?" And Mom handed
me back to Dad.

Could go on and on. But, it was funny when we got home, Dad had not assembled my crib yet
and Mom was mad. They put me in a dresser drawer for my first night home!

Posted once before about this wondering if anyone else had a similar experience.
Maybe they just don't remember.

 

[John M]

You need more than teeth!
Learning to pronounce words was hard enough even as the infant body grew.
Think of all the things a baby has to practice to be able to grow and acheive.
Walking, talking, eating, toilet training, brushing those teeth!
Oh, my. That one was a big deal for me. How I hated brushing my teeth.
Even up to around 8 yrs. old I gagged.
There's learning to read and write,play, ride a bike, etc.

Now imagine you're in that infant body that has not mastered any of the skills of life as a human yet,
but, put your mind as you know it now inside. That place in the brain we call thought.
The inner talk and understanding. The place that feels like what you call self inside the brain of
an infant and imagine how frustrating that would be.

Since most people can't remember any younger than 3 to 4 years old, it would be interesting to know
if we do have that consciousness capability from the start but can't remember it.
I've not known any in real life or if I did I was unaware.
There have been a few I've read about that can remember back to the day they were born.
How their minds thought, they didn't say.

First memory: In incubator with my mouth going like a fish out of water and knocking with my fists.
Second day: In the room with the rest with a baby straight jacket type thing that kept my hands
tied with the end of the sleeves, because I constantly scratched at my face.
Second day also: Being brought to my Mom and the nurse trying to get her to learn how to feed me.
I didn't want to take the bottle. Mom laid me down on the bed and started to go to the bathroom.
Nurse said never do that. Never leave a baby unattended even for a few minutes.
They can do things you'd never imagine.
Third day: Being in Mom's arms, being pushed in wheel chair to a car where a friend of my parents
was waiting with my Dad in the back seat. Nurse picked me up until Mom got in front seat by
the friend. She hands me to her.
Friend says to Dad, "Don't you want to hold your baby daughter for the first time?" And Mom handed
me back to Dad.

Could go on and on. But, it was funny when we got home, Dad had not assembled my crib yet
and Mom was mad. They put me in a dresser drawer for my first night home!

Posted once before about this wondering if anyone else had a similar experience.
Maybe they just don't remember.

I suspect the inability to generalize memories in the same way an NT does is one of the factors contributing to autism. I don't recall anything before the age of two, however I'm able view the consolidation of recent memories. My perception is that everyone with edict memory is autistic and like me they are unable to self-identify as part of a social group in the normal sense an NT does. They are unable to make the generalizations required to form a group identity. People with edict memory are treated differently because edict memory is something that can be proven and measured. Even if they were born more or less normal they become autistic once the gain a perfect memory because the language center of their brain is no longer able to generalize memories the same way. If you want to be part of a group an imperfect memory is required.

NTs sometimes afford young children a little social leeway because they haven't formed a group identy yet. They assume we're similar to children because we haven't either.

 

[WolfSpirit]

Mate, i hear you. Been told this my entire life. 36 now. I personally beleive us ASD peoples reach a "plateau" where we stop growing mentally. I really do. And it hurts. I feel your pain

I disagree. I subscribe more to the 'developmental delay means we get to continue to learn longer" perspective. That said, We will never be NT, and somethings that are considered 'normal' or 'adult' will be things we always have difficulty with, or never understand. That doesn't make us 'less than', no matter what anybody says, it just makes us different. And it allows us to notice things they ignore or have forgotten, or can't see at all.

 

[Crossbreed]

My perception is that everyone with edict memory is autistic and...

I used to lean on a (lesser form of) eidetic memory during elementary school spelling bees. That switched to rules-based spelling as I got older. In one such bee, I spelt a word that I had never seen before, "acquiesce."

My eidetic memory also tips me off to misspellings, if I have seen the word before, or they break typical spelling conventions. (They just don't look right.)

When I was twenty, I could remember the layout of a textbook page where I learned an important fact, and its general placement on that page.

 

[WolfSpirit]

I suspect the inability to generalize memories in the same way an NT does is one of the factors contributing to autism. I don't recall anything before the age of two, however I'm able view the consolidation of recent memories. My perception is that everyone with edict memory is autistic and like me they are unable to self-identify as part of a social group in the normal sense an NT does. They are unable to make the generalizations required to form a group identity. People with edict memory are treated differently because edict memory is something that can be proven and measured. Even if they were born more or less normal they become autistic once the gain a perfect memory because the language center of their brain is no longer able to generalize memories the same way. If you want to be part of a group an imperfect memory is required.

NTs sometimes afford young children a little social leeway because they haven't formed a group identy yet. They assume we're similar to children because we haven't either.

First off, most people don't remember any childhood memories before the age of three, it's a biological, developmental thing common across the species. There's a bunch of scientific information on it, but I've long since lost interest, so I don't remember any of it.

Second, if you're referring to 'eidetic' memory, that's a very different thing than the collection of traits that make up autism. Granted, many of us autistics have better, and more detailed memories than NTs. It always served me well when writing essay exams. . It tends to impress many people in my life. (and annoy, or confuse others) but people with eidetic memories can otherwise be very much otherwise NT and socialize in a typical fashion (as far as I understand it).

 

[John M]

First off, most people don't remember any childhood memories before the age of three, it's a biological, developmental thing common across the species. There's a bunch of scientific information on it, but I've long since lost interest, so I don't remember any of it.

Second, if you're referring to 'eidetic' memory, that's a very different thing than the collection of traits that make up autism. Granted, many of us autistics have better, and more detailed memories than NTs. It always served me well when writing essay exams. . It tends to impress many people in my life. (and annoy, or confuse others) but people with eidetic memories can otherwise be very much otherwise NT and socialize in a typical fashion (as far as I understand it).

Every time I've read an interview of someone that has edict memory I see an aspie. I'll have to agree to disagree with you on this. I suggest not looking at pychological studies and looking at individuals. There is no set collection of traits that make up autism. We are very diverse. Also, I can mask when I need to. A lot of us can. In my opinion, if a person has no capability to self-identify as a social group then they are autistic. This is the one exception to the 'no set traits' observation. There is a gray area with religion but I perceive that as being related to having loyalty to an individual (the deity) rather than the group, following a set of predefined rules and having a group or 'normal' people that are willing to accept you because the assumption of religion is that we're all imperfect.

 

[WolfSpirit]

Every time I've read an interview of someone that has edict memory I see an aspie. I'll have to agree to disagree with you on this. I suggest not looking at pychological studies and looking at individuals. There is no set collection of traits that make up autism. We are very diverse. Also, I can mask when I need to. A lot of us can. In my opinion, if a person has no capability to self-identify as a social group then they are autistic. This is the one exception to the 'no set traits' observation. There is a gray area with religion but I perceive that as being related to having loyalty to an individual (the deity) rather than the group, following a set of predefined rules and having a group or 'normal' people that are willing to accept you because the assumption of religion is that we're all imperfect.

Dude, of course there is a specific set of traits that make up autism. They're called "diagnostic criteria."

 

[John M]

From my perspective the 'traits' have nothing do to with it. It all boils down to 'inability to self-identify as part of a social group' and how the brain partitions itself. All the sensory issues we experience are things that belong to a normal healthy brain, just not the mind/language center.