Guys approach other guys not the other way around.

[Jumpback]

Since the pictures of my post were removed it is difficult for others to understand what you are referring to so I want to stress that the biggest part of them showed a tweet detailing and showing screenshots of sexually aggressive behavior by a colleague.

What you are referring to, I guess, is the attached reddit page reiterating the issue. So yeah, that would definitely be a weak argument for doubting that really happened, considering the screenshots and repeated assertions from female members on this site that this happens.

Not sure if I am allowed to link the tweet without showing its contents. Not crazy about getting banned.

I also responded to you with a link which was deleted. I guess it’s about policy, potentially overwhelming moderators sifting through links or threats to advertising dollars, so no Ill will in any way to to this site or to moderators or policy or anything else, but I do like discussions with links backing up arguments with facts, so this can become a bit frustrating.

See, I do not doubt very much that the person in your original links was just being honest and seeking justice against females being tormented, it’s just that I have experienced basically exactly the same things from gay men, but social messages seem to say this is hate and I get punished for being upset about just as valid of things as women get upset about, but where usually women are allowed leeway

I like open discussions with links and no banning and on and on, so I would have liked to have a conversation with you with competing links, but I get why such things sometimes just cannot happen

 

[Au Naturel]

I'm not sure about the policy on attaching photos or videos or links here. I think you can link to something but displaying it may not always be allowed.

 

[Jumpback]

I'm not sure about the policy on attaching photos or videos or links here. I think you can link to something but displaying it may not always be allowed.

The answer to everything is always money, often accompanied by power and control. Advertisers online want cat videos or videos supporting socially dominant messages which powerfully advocate for support the majority opinion of the time and aggressive go against unpopular perspectives, so there is no threat to upset social advocacy groups who might boycott or unendingly go against advertisers who support social uncomfortable things. Society has always been this way in one way or another

Like if society is that naturalism or nudism is an oppressed minority treated with hate, you might a heroic figure drawing advertising dollars for you opinions on such things. If men dressing skimpy is dangerous to everyone, you might be viewed as a danger to women and young girksc who you might be a threat to and everyone might be against you and you might get banned, because you are dangerous for advertisers to be involved with. But it’s because societies don’t like open discussion and advertisers really don’t like sure things. But then the Nazis also punished disagreement. It’s kind of the same issue but different...one is related to non compliance might be a threat to control of the people, and one might be a threat to advertising dollars

People are just sheep. And this is sort of rational. It is usually very beneficial for an individual for put no effort into figuring things out, but just Allie themselves very strongly with the side the that is winning, and aggressively condemn the side that is losing while investing almost zero time into understanding the issue or thinking things through....

....It’s all so very, very wrong logically and emotionally, but it’s why people can function in the real world and computers can’t. “Normal” people function on generalizations and prejudices and simplifications of reality in every way and punish non compliance in some way.

But it’s impossible to escape from this. If this site wants to exist, it has to rely on advertising dollars and not manage to upset extremely powerful advocacy groups. If powerful people get upset, the noncompliance gets squashed either through withdrawal of safe advertising dollars or advocacy groups ganging up on rational discussion as proof of dangerous hate. It’s not right, but it’s how people work, and it’s how society works and it’s the rules everyone just is forced to comply with if they do not wish to be punished.

....Like right now the #meetoo movement might be very motivated to go after male nudists as a danger to women and girls...personally I think it it’s harmless and funny, but I have a minority opinion....what matters is the majority...now if nudists and naturalists developed a powerful social advocacy group and Hollywood and media and major figures joined on the bandwagon because the nudists advocates had gained so much power that famous people decided it was safe to speak out about oppression of male nudists because this might enhance the social standing of famous people and entrenched journalists and so on, you might be a major heroic trailblazing hero and advertising dollars would get pillied on anything that supported you.

I kind of like that reddit got rid of women complaining about men group for hate and this site seems to have issues with all links. It’s more fair, since it is not picking a side. I don’t like this approach since I prefer no controls of free speech, but it’s a lot better than just picking one side to ban for non compliance, and I understand the pressure that advertising dollars create

 

[simetra]

I also responded to you with a link which was deleted. I guess it’s about policy, potentially overwhelming moderators sifting through links or threats to advertising dollars, so no Ill will in any way to to this site or to moderators or policy or anything else, but I do like discussions with links backing up arguments with facts, so this can become a bit frustrating.

See, I do not doubt very much that the person in your original links was just being honest and seeking justice against females being tormented, it’s just that I have experienced basically exactly the same things from gay men, but social messages seem to say this is hate and I get punished for being upset about just as valid of things as women get upset about, but where usually women are allowed leeway

I like open discussions with links and no banning and on and on, so I would have liked to have a conversation with you with competing links, but I get why such things sometimes just cannot happen

Here's the thing: Ours are not competing views. Our experiences do not mutually delegitimize each other.

There is no monopoly on power. Everyone in society has some power, even though it is undeniable that some have infinitely more power than others. But nobody is completely powerless.

This means, even though men have for a long time been in a position almost absolute of political power, and women had to fight for their rights to vote, to get a job without their husband's permission, etc., and the power difference between men and women is still there in some scenarios, even stronger in countries with religious leaders, women do have some forms of power and agency.
That means of course there are women who are going to approach and pursue men. Often times, however, and this is the point of the original issue discussed in the thread - it is frowned upon and platonic friendly behavior is misconstrued as flirting.

Now you mentioned you have been aggressively pursued by homosexual men, even though you were not interested. If you leave aside that you are a man instead of a woman, you experienced the exact same situation. And again, it was the case of a man misunderstanding friendliness (you said you wanted to befriend the guy) for flirting.

The implications of these two situations are different since the constellation in your case was not interpreted from the stereotypical male-female relationship (the problem really is that many believe men and women can't be or don't want to be friends) that was referred to in the early discussion, but from a structural view, you had the exact same, painful experience.

So, rather than arguing whether men or women have it worse on this planet, we should look for underlying misconceptions and stereotypes that come to hurt many of us, regardless of sex, gender, and sexual orientation.

 

[hatfullofrain]

Yes I've noticed this too.

It's frustrating because how are any single people meant to get to know each other and form connections that could lead to something else.

I know a lot of single over 30s in church circles.

They're all too scared to make a social blunder. If I talk to her she'll think I like her and vice-versa. I've seen a lot of hurt feelings too when guys did make an effort to get to know a girl better. To her, no one had ever shown interest in her before so it was a huge thing, but to him he was just a little curious and not that into her, he just wanted to pass the time. He got bored and she got her heart broken. If there was more mixed socialising that wouldn't happen. He wouldn't have been such a big deal.

But no one will make a move because they've seen people get hurt and don't want to be the cause of hurts and mix ups.

Men in church circles don't realise these women get no male attention. And there are less men in church circles for women who are looking for a Christian husband, so some women go years without dating. But the men have 50 women to choose from and are just passing the time with one, then another, then another.

When the girl gets dumped she has no one to move on to. He was her only chance in years, but when he dumps her he can pretty much move straight on to someone else in the sea of single Christian women.

There are hardly any mixed group meet ups either. Guys will hang out with their guy friends, the women will have girls nights out.

You see some couples forming, but I've no idea how these people get together. Me and my female friends will be eternally single.

 

[Jumpback]

Here's the thing: Ours are not competing views. Our experiences do not mutually delegitimize each other.

There is no monopoly on power. Everyone in society has some power, even though it is undeniable that some have infinitely more power than others. But nobody is completely powerless.

This means, even though men have for a long time been in a position almost absolute of political power, and women had to fight for their rights to vote, to get a job without their husband's permission, etc., and the power difference between men and women is still there in some scenarios, even stronger in countries with religious leaders, women do have some forms of power and agency.
That means of course there are women who are going to approach and pursue men. Often times, however, and this is the point of the original issue discussed in the thread - it is frowned upon and platonic friendly behavior is misconstrued as flirting.

Now you mentioned you have been aggressively pursued by homosexual men, even though you were not interested. If you leave aside that you are a man instead of a woman, you experienced the exact same situation. And again, it was the case of a man misunderstanding friendliness (you said you wanted to befriend the guy) for flirting.

The implications of these two situations are different since the constellation in your case was not interpreted from the stereotypical male-female relationship (the problem really is that many believe men and women can't be or don't want to be friends) that was referred to in the early discussion, but from a structural view, you had the exact same, painful experience.

So, rather than arguing whether men or women have it worse on this planet, we should look for underlying misconceptions and stereotypes that come to hurt many of us, regardless of sex, gender, and sexual orientation.

Here's the thing: Ours are not competing views. Our experiences do not mutually delegitimize each other.

There is no monopoly on power. Everyone in society has some power, even though it is undeniable that some have infinitely more power than others. But nobody is completely powerless.

This means, even though men have for a long time been in a position almost absolute of political power, and women had to fight for their rights to vote, to get a job without their husband's permission, etc., and the power difference between men and women is still there in some scenarios, even stronger in countries with religious leaders, women do have some forms of power and agency.
That means of course there are women who are going to approach and pursue men. Often times, however, and this is the point of the original issue discussed in the thread - it is frowned upon and platonic friendly behavior is misconstrued as flirting.

Now you mentioned you have been aggressively pursued by homosexual men, even though you were not interested. If you leave aside that you are a man instead of a woman, you experienced the exact same situation. And again, it was the case of a man misunderstanding friendliness (you said you wanted to befriend the guy) for flirting.

The implications of these two situations are different since the constellation in your case was not interpreted from the stereotypical male-female relationship (the problem really is that many believe men and women can't be or don't want to be friends) that was referred to in the early discussion, but from a structural view, you had the exact same, painful experience.

So, rather than arguing whether men or women have it worse on this planet, we should look for underlying misconceptions and stereotypes that come to hurt many of us, regardless of sex, gender, and sexual orientation.

I agree with everything you say, but it feels like the politicalization of social wrongs confuses things in reality. And this has affected me very directly. For example, my sister has complained openly and loudly about injustices commited against her and other women and she is also vocal about transgender rights, but when I try to explain my issues, somehow they manage to be inconvenient at best or offensive at worst, but my actual injustices committed against me are worse than hers, but she is just stuck in thinking about things in only one direction (by the way, she is not autistic spectrum and we are both adopted and we are not like each other)

Just why I prefer the policy of removing all links or punishing everyone for hate instead of picking a side, because people just do not think things through in sophisticated enough ways or get caught up in picking a side in the current way politics are.

 

[simetra]

I agree with everything you say, but it feels like the politicalization of social wrongs confuses things in reality. And this has affected me very directly. For example, my sister has complained openly and loudly about injustices commited against her and other women and she is also vocal about transgender rights, but when I try to explain my issues, somehow they manage to be inconvenient at best or offensive at worst, but my actual injustices committed against me are worse than hers, but she is just stuck in thinking about things in only one direction (by the way, she is not autistic spectrum and we are both adopted and we are not like each other)

Just why I prefer the policy of removing all links or punishing everyone for hate instead of picking a side, because people just do not think things through in sophisticated enough ways or get caught up in picking a side in the current way politics are.

I don't know her, but maybe she feels like you tell her about your experiences in order to take gravity from hers? You could ask her about that if you care to seek a discussion with her.
Maybe that, or she is the one discrediting others' experiences. In any case, I think more mutual understanding and rational discussion would greatly improve things in society.

 

[Au Naturel]

I think the moderators are just trying to keep things friendly. If the discussions start to get polarized or political or angry it will frighten off many people who only come here for support and understanding. We're Aspies, high up on the autism scale. Many of us don't do so well in the rough and tumble world of the NT and many of us have very thin skin from being dismissed and derided by the larger society. I do not believe that it is because of nefarious plots by advertisers or pandering to the majority.

There's a political forum where I never go. Maybe the rules are different there.

 

[Jumpback]

I think the moderators are just trying to keep things friendly. If the discussions start to get polarized or political or angry it will frighten off many people who only come here for support and understanding. We're Aspies, high up on the autism scale. Many of us don't do so well in the rough and tumble world of the NT and many of us have very thin skin from being dismissed and derided by the larger society. I do not believe that it is because of nefarious plots by advertisers or pandering to the majority.

There's a political forum where I never go. Maybe the rules are different there.

I agre with what you are saying, except that there is always pandering to the majority.

Not being in the majority always means that you are likely to get accused of something and have things taken away from you

 

[Tony Ramirez]

You see some couples forming, but I've no idea how these people get together. Me and my female friends will be eternally single.

Three or maybe four of my female friends from Church groups are actually single. I even text talked to one on Sunday I meet at life group and got to know better at a course and she is single because she was hurt by men who wanted more than just a friendship. She even said she prefers her female and couple friends. She however won't ignore me if I try to talk to her.

 

[Au Naturel]

I don't know her, but maybe she feels like you tell her about your experiences in order to take gravity from hers? You could ask her about that if you care to seek a discussion with her.
Maybe that, or she is the one discrediting others' experiences. In any case, I think more mutual understanding and rational discussion would greatly improve things in society.

My wife has a friend whose knee jerk response to hearing about another person's problems is always to insist her's are worse and then start describing them in detail. You'll never get a word in edgewise. Horrible person if you need a shoulder to cry on. They stick together because they've known each other for 40 years.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I went to a social gathering from one of my Church groups we are starting to meet in person. I meet a girl there as I bought up the topic of social greeting at Church. She said she is anxious to introduce herself to someone and I said I am anxious to talk to her if she was at a Church greeting. So that introduces a stalemate. This means that they are just as shy as you are.

This is why I prefer small groups as it's much easier to talk.