hoped that I learned more english in school...
the whole world feels strange for me and most of the people. its not that I don´t like others, its just that I feel like a alien on another planet. I have autism diagnosis and I learned much social skills in the last years, but its anyway kinda hard for me to find in-depth friendships (and not only small talk and pastime).
I often felt like I am the only one who is like me and that feeling is very scary. the feeling that I will never find a girlfriend and friends who like me. the feeling that nothing what I do can break the glass plane that separates me from others. but I know I am not the only one and there are other people who are like me or kinda similar.
on social media or similiar platforms people always share high-definiton photos (often not very realistic) of themselves and find it unsympathic if someone like me doesn´t want to share their skin or other details with the whole world. but for me other values like honesty and reliability matters and not values like appearance.
I always just want to do a little walk with new people, so I can find out if each other are sympathic or not, but people often say to me that they want to walk too, but ghost me or one day before the meeting they reject their acceptance, which is very frustrating.
furthermore I don´t like group meetings, because I feel uncomfortable in it and so I always to find people who speak with me in pairs, but many people prefer group contact. in addition I am very sensitive to noise, so I always prefer quiet activities like walk in a park or meeting each other at home, which many people find boring.
But many acitivities I feel not comfortable with because its too loud or there are too many people. also I don´t look for people for activities, but for "deep" conversations.
the most people I feel not comfortable with, there are always only very few people where I can imagine a friendship.
do you people feel similiar?
PS: pictures here in the forum are very authentic, which is very sympathic.
I feel like I have always have to protect myself from different stresses, its hard to find a place where I can be myself and feel safe, because there are so many places and things that makes me sick and suffer, where other people can exist without any problems. finding a protection bubble where I can exist and maybe some day become happy. the world for me often feels very dangerous and scary.
noise outside, making me wearing my noise protected ear muffs and when in my home there is noise too, I even don´t feel comfortable there. I often ironically say that it would be great to live in a fallout shelter without any neighbours, with maximum wide walls to protect me from noise and everything.
noise makes me sick, loneliness makes me sick. but actual loneliness is a bit better than in the past. I know that I will never live a life than most of others do, but I also don´t want to, because I have other needs and desire than others. but I also don´t want to rot alone in my room for the rest of my life, because maximum protection also means maximum loneliness like someone in his castle who don´t let somebody in his life.
something in the middle would be perfect. much protection but also friendships and contact in a way I can feel myself comfortable with. luckily there is one person I´m in friendship right now, which is very special for me, because in the past I had many contacts, but most of them "just" internet-contacts and false friends or contacts which were very unstabile and frustrating for me.
the whole world feels strange for me and most of the people. its not that I don´t like others, its just that I feel like a alien on another planet. I have autism diagnosis and I learned much social skills in the last years, but its anyway kinda hard for me to find in-depth friendships (and not only small talk and pastime).
I often felt like I am the only one who is like me and that feeling is very scary. the feeling that I will never find a girlfriend and friends who like me. the feeling that nothing what I do can break the glass plane that separates me from others. but I know I am not the only one and there are other people who are like me or kinda similar.
on social media or similiar platforms people always share high-definiton photos (often not very realistic) of themselves and find it unsympathic if someone like me doesn´t want to share their skin or other details with the whole world. but for me other values like honesty and reliability matters and not values like appearance.
I always just want to do a little walk with new people, so I can find out if each other are sympathic or not, but people often say to me that they want to walk too, but ghost me or one day before the meeting they reject their acceptance, which is very frustrating.
furthermore I don´t like group meetings, because I feel uncomfortable in it and so I always to find people who speak with me in pairs, but many people prefer group contact. in addition I am very sensitive to noise, so I always prefer quiet activities like walk in a park or meeting each other at home, which many people find boring.
But many acitivities I feel not comfortable with because its too loud or there are too many people. also I don´t look for people for activities, but for "deep" conversations.
the most people I feel not comfortable with, there are always only very few people where I can imagine a friendship.
do you people feel similiar?
PS: pictures here in the forum are very authentic, which is very sympathic.
I feel like I have always have to protect myself from different stresses, its hard to find a place where I can be myself and feel safe, because there are so many places and things that makes me sick and suffer, where other people can exist without any problems. finding a protection bubble where I can exist and maybe some day become happy. the world for me often feels very dangerous and scary.
noise outside, making me wearing my noise protected ear muffs and when in my home there is noise too, I even don´t feel comfortable there. I often ironically say that it would be great to live in a fallout shelter without any neighbours, with maximum wide walls to protect me from noise and everything.
noise makes me sick, loneliness makes me sick. but actual loneliness is a bit better than in the past. I know that I will never live a life than most of others do, but I also don´t want to, because I have other needs and desire than others. but I also don´t want to rot alone in my room for the rest of my life, because maximum protection also means maximum loneliness like someone in his castle who don´t let somebody in his life.
something in the middle would be perfect. much protection but also friendships and contact in a way I can feel myself comfortable with. luckily there is one person I´m in friendship right now, which is very special for me, because in the past I had many contacts, but most of them "just" internet-contacts and false friends or contacts which were very unstabile and frustrating for me.
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