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Have you ever been discouraged or critisized for your hobby or interest?

Naomi said:
I love to write. Often my parents will tell me to 'stop focusing so much on your stories', but how will I ever complete a novel and attempt to publish it if I don't focus on them?
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I came across the following observations online about the focus of US writer/poet Sylvia Plath:

"To this end she slogged away in the utmost self-doubt and agony, composing more than 70 stories, most of which were never published, and filling notebooks with the details of what she thought of as real life: styles of clothing and interior decoration, mannerisms of acquaintances, sketches of the physical world that she believed she had no talent for observing."

"On one level 'Johnny Panic' is the record of an apprenticeship. It should bury forever the romantic notion of genius blossoming forth like flowers. Few writers of major stature can have worked so hard, for so long, with so little visible result. The breakthrough, when it came, had been laboriously earned many times over."

And as British writer Evelyn Waugh wrote: "Apparently if one is ever going to do good work one has to give one’s whole life to it. I suppose this is really true of everything. There is no place for the dilettanti."
 
I've had a few people treat me funny when I say I love playing video games. They said I should be doing "girly" things instead. One of my brother's friends used to say stuff like that to me a lot..... until I creamed him in a Pokemon battle.

I still feel alienated at times when playing video games though. Like last month when I went to a video game convention at my college, I was the only girl there that had an interest in video games. The few other girls there were only there to hang out with their boyfriends. It was a really uncomfortable experience.
 
Cinnamon115 said:
I've had a few people treat me funny when I say I love playing video games. They said I should be doing "girly" things instead. One of my brother's friends used to say stuff like that to me a lot..... until I creamed him in a Pokemon battle.

I still feel alienated at times when playing video games though. Like last month when I went to a video game convention at my college, I was the only girl there that had an interest in video games. The few other girls there were only there to hang out with their boyfriends. It was a really uncomfortable experience.
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I kinda feel like that with comic books,I love the classic old comics and sometimes go to this old comic shop in Sydney but the old guys who work there are very rude and once said to me that's it's unusual for a girl to like comic books.also when I recently went to see avengers age of ultron it was my husband who got dragged along not the other way around which I think was the case for the other couples I saw in the cinema :)
 
I usually feel like I can't bring up my interests because it bothers people. On one hand, I really don't care about what people think - even when they mke fun of me, I don't really pay attention. On the other, it's easier to deal with people if they arren't annoyed.

But, like having an interest in Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn't the most relatable topic right now, but if I had been interested in it when it was on I would have fit in with the in crowd. It's kind of weird how that works. My timing was off. Now it's a heavy female base (which is was anyway) and I feel awkward bringing it up ever. But reruns calm me. It's familiar.

But I also don't think I need to share them with other people. It's personal for me and I've always felt this need to hide things from people.
 
Misha said:
I usually feel like I can't bring up my interests because it bothers people. On one hand, I really don't care about what people think - even when they mke fun of me, I don't really pay attention. On the other, it's easier to deal with people if they arren't annoyed.

But, like having an interest in Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn't the most relatable topic right now, but if I had been interested in it when it was on I would have fit in with the in crowd. It's kind of weird how that works. My timing was off. Now it's a heavy female base (which is was anyway) and I feel awkward bringing it up ever. But reruns calm me. It's familiar.

But I also don't think I need to share them with other people. It's personal for me and I've always felt this need to hide things from people.
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It sucks when you cannot talk about the stuff you like with other people because they don't find it interesting, I learnt the hard way about this a few times and one incident that pops up is the time I went on a date with a guy years ago and I got carried away talking about comic books and movies, I never went on another date with him again and found out later on that he said to someone that I was boring so I made a promise to myself not to share much of my interests to anyone.
 
My interests have always been things which people don't like. Some of my interests are popular but not very. My art has improved over the years and now people say they like my paintings. Everyone dislikes my music.

My views on wildlife have been the major problem. I lot of the animals I have loved since birth everyone hates and are very vocal about spreading the hate. I have always love bats and snakes, a lot more humans and my family don't like it.

I am, by far, my worst critic and I think that may be due to the amount of disapproval I gat when I was young. It doesn't help that I'm a perfectionist and do human is perfect.
 
Misha said:
But, like having an interest in Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn't the most relatable topic right now, but if I had been interested in it when it was on I would have fit in with the in crowd. It's kind of weird how that works. My timing was off. Now it's a heavy female base (which is was anyway) and I feel awkward bringing it up ever. But reruns calm me. It's familiar.
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I discovered Buffy WAY late to the party (as in, over a dozen years after it first aired), and you may be glad to know I've still been able to talk about it with other fans, both male and female (and everyone in between, of course)...many of whom also only discovered the show long after it had ended. Sure, I'm sure there are some testosterone-overloaded macho-men in my life who would make fun of me for it, but you'd actually be surprised at the amount of male followers it still garners. Don't feel so alone, dear. :)
 
Joel I said:
My interests have always been things which people don't like. Some of my interests are popular but not very. My art has improved over the years and now people say they like my paintings. Everyone dislikes my music.

My views on wildlife have been the major problem. I lot of the animals I have loved since birth everyone hates and are very vocal about spreading the hate. I have always love bats and snakes, a lot more humans and my family don't like it.

I am, by far, my worst critic and I think that may be due to the amount of disapproval I gat when I was young. It doesn't help that I'm a perfectionist and do human is perfect.
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That is very true being put down can make you end up being your own worst critic,even if your good at what you do that inner critic can sabotage you,it's a big thing I'm battling at the moment it's stopped me from doing stuff I love.
 
wyverary said:
I discovered Buffy WAY late to the party (as in, over a dozen years after it first aired), and you may be glad to know I've still been able to talk about it with other fans, both male and female (and everyone in between, of course)...many of whom also only discovered the show long after it had ended. Sure, I'm sure there are some testosterone-overloaded macho-men in my life who would make fun of me for it, but you'd actually be surprised at the amount of male followers it still garners. Don't feel so alone, dear. :)
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I've only watched it for like two years? I was never interested when I was younger and my sister made me watch it with me... It didn't take too long for me to get hooked. Once I got past the macho resistance crap I let myself like it. I'm a little obsessed even though there are things I dislike about it.

Are there any good forums or anything? I a little iffy about looking up forums. Took me a while to find this one. Lol
 
Oh yes.
There's a sort of silent distaste within the family, though my mother has always tried to be supportive.
The main negativity comes from outside of the house, in the classroom or from family friends. It's not so much the special interest that disgusts people, it's just that my entire way of thinking reflects it so much. I can be ridiculously insensitive and honest to a fault. Whenever the biker shootout happened in town this week, my family was horrified that I responded with a big smile. I can't help it. It's not the suffering and death that thrills me so much, just the fact that the blunt force, stabbing, and gunshot at the crime scene makes the resulting blood spatter beautifully complex and difficult to unravel. It's the puzzle as a result of the crime that I find so interesting. So many people and weapons were involved at the scene that the bloodstain patterns are going to be chaotic and more difficult to interpret. While most people are horrified by the entire ordeal, I see the result as braincandy. It's sad that people died, yes, but now the crime scene is this beautifully difficult puzzle. While most people get caught up with being sad about the. event itself, my rabid curiosity and passion for my special interest makes me more interested in figuring out the details of the event. Who fired first? Were there glass panels in the restaurant, that could help find who fired first. What was the cause of the confrontation and where (physically speaking) did it start?
I find the facts, not the emotional aspects interesting.
This, along with my general inability to know when information is too graphic, results in plenty of discouragement and criticism of both my interest in Forensic Science and the field itself.
 
Not for any hobby itself, but how much time or energy I put into them, often compared to other, more "practical" things, I "should" be putting more time and attention into.
 
I can relate to this.Many times I'd have hobbies that my parents deemed odd or useless. Sometimes even I myself question the use of some of my hobbies.For example,I have a hobby of collecting the sports pages of newspapers so that I can look back and read the articles and many times I'd question myself what the point of it was.Another hobby I have is collecting those cute little pajamas with the feet attached that I wore as a kid.I'm saving some up to use when I have children one day,but my parents have had negative views on this hobby as well,I guess because of the rampant fear of pedophilia and being labeled a pedophile by society even if you've never touched a child before just because of your hobbies and mannerisms and such.Another hobby I have is writing books and I've self-published over 50 of them but what got some people annoyed with this is my constant use of the name Carol Anne for my characters.In case there's some that don't realize it,I got this name from the 1980's horror movie franchise Poltergeist (they had 2 sequels in 1986 and 1988 and the remake of the 1982 original is out in theaters this Friday),and I've gotten some comments from reviewers like "Why are you so obsessed with that name?", and "We get it: you're obsessed with 'Poltergeist', get over it!" and such.
 
Have you ever been discouraged or critisized for your hobby or interest?
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Yes, but I don't take those kinds of comments too seriously. It can feel damaging to hear negative criticism, but I think that this can be counteracted by finding supportive communities -- forums, Meetup.com, in-person classes, school groups, and other communities.

I remember one time when I thought I had an amazing idea about my interest at the time. I pulled aside someone I knew, away from any ears that could hear the idea, and I mentioned my plan. He gave an incredulous look and indicated that he though that my idea was stupid. I didn't take his advice into consideration, and I turned it into a worldwide network with about 10,000 members that held events in about 10 countries.

For another interest, someone told me that what I was working on was "the stupidest thing I've ever heard of." Those were his exact words. I didn't take that comment seriously, because I could see that he just didn't understand. Another person who saw what I was working on suggested that I might be mentally disturbed for taking the topic so seriously. I ended up turning it into an active online community with thousands of other enthusiastic members, and I doubt that anyone would call it stupid now. (My current goal is to turn that project into a successful Internet company -- then I'm going to do something else that most people would consider "impossible" for someone like me in a field that some people still (incorrectly) find ridiculous.)

IMHO, one should carefully listen to constructive criticism, but one shouldn't listen to destructive criticism from negative people who are unable to see what is possible. If you can find people who do understand, it can help counteract the effect of the negative comments. It might even help to write down why you are interested in that topic, the uses it has for society, studies about its benefits for cognitive functioning and creativity (example: art), and what you intend to do with it. Even if you never share that writing with anyone, it can help clarify why the negative comments are wrong.
 
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Adora I love the picture you use. Is any of your art on the internet to view? I would like to see some of it.
I was diagnosed as an Aspie about 5 years ago and I am now 70. I have had many hobbies, interests and obsessions. They were mine and I loved them. I now have a lot of time to pursue my interests and my wife thinks I am crazy but she is one of those brain damaged people and I love her to bits.
Don't let anybody put you down you are a beautiful and talented person.
 
Many times, my ex used to regularly lay in to my about my IT skills.

But I think that's a different thing in the sense he was just mean to me, I had a lot of general abuse from him in that sense.
 
danielcollins said:
Many times, my ex used to regularly lay in to my about my IT skills.

But I think that's a different thing in the sense he was just mean to me, I had a lot of general abuse from him in that sense.
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I can relate to this. I have an ex who was verbally and emotionally abusive and wore me down about my passion for veganism and animal rights. He eventually got me to stop being vegan.
 
Adora said:
I'm just wondering because in the past my dad use to criticise my drawings I use to do and sometimes said that some of my hobbies were useless,have any of you have had a similar situation where someone or something discouraged a interest of yours?
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Yes. I love to lift weights - only recently started back at the grand old age of 47. ( For a girl raised in the 70's, with a southern Mum - weight-lifting was a no-no. ) She did everything she could to discourage me - eventually even selling my weights. Best advice : if your "special interest" is legal, healthy/normal and doesn't hurt anyone, or prevent you from living a productive, happy life - GO FOR IT - no matter what anyone says <3 *You will regret giving into pressure, and giving it up - I know I did.
 
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