Have you ever encountered a know-it-all to the point where it gets annoying?

[Jonn]

Tbh in a way yes, because he wouldn't have to care about what has been said. It sounds the same.

“Talk to the hand” is a common English slang expression we use to simply dismiss someone’s comments or opinions. It is a way of saying, “I don’t want to listen to what you’re saying,” or “I find your comments completely irrelevant.”

https://grammarist.com/idiom/talk-to-the-hand/

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

In relationships people are allowed to get annoyed at even the way someone eats, but, in other areas things kinda change in terms of how people expect people to feel.

I think humans are ridden with all sorts of annoyances that are unique to them, we all get annoyed with small things and each other. Depending on our stress levels, on our previous experiences etc. we might be more annoyed with something/someone.

That’s true. I personally get very annoyed when someone tries to make an argument and my point is labeled as irrational or delusional, regardless of whether I was right or wrong. I find it very annoying how some people assume that I’m averse to rational thinking, but in reality, I find the demonization of irrationality and emotions to be very redundant.

It’s common that I feel insecure over rational arguments and stay away from debates as much as possible, because I usually get into the bad end of it all. Labeled as emotional and irrational and incapable of logic, simply for being an autistic woman, it’s pitiful if you ask me.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

https://grammarist.com/idiom/talk-to-the-hand/

Yeah, I usually don’t use slang in public, because I’m seen as rude. In fact, using the phrase “talk to the hand” acts as a sign of stubbornness, come to think of it.

 

[All-Rounder]

Yeah, I usually don’t use slang in public, because I’m seen as rude. In fact, using the phrase “talk to the hand” acts as a sign of stubbornness, come to think of it.

I think why would I even talk to a strange person, that I don't know. They might not understand me or feel uncomfortable.

Some people talk to me, and it's awkward, especially because I don't say much and they end up monologuing. I really hate when strangers ask me questions, especially stuff like my medical file data, I mean, that's very private. I signed papers for it to be secret and was offered rights not to talk about it on the street with people.

 

[elgat0verde]

My father and most people in this town, I loathe talking to them because they're always right and know everything about everything (they don't)

 

[All-Rounder]

That’s true. I personally get very annoyed when someone tries to make an argument and my point is labeled as irrational or delusional, regardless of whether I was right or wrong. I find it very annoying how some people assume that I’m averse to rational thinking, but in reality, I find the demonization of irrationality and emotions to be very redundant.

It’s common that I feel insecure over rational arguments and stay away from debates as much as possible, because I usually get into the bad end of it all. Labeled as emotional and irrational and incapable of logic, simply for being an autistic woman, it’s pitiful if you ask me.

From my experience there is a lot of lack of education in the population of my area and US, maybe others too, but in terms of understanding emotions.

Having emotions is not a rational or irrational thing, it just is. It takes time for the mind to "rationalize" or process emotion, in some cases is unable to for lifetime.

Emotions don't come because we want them to happen, they happen due to unevolved ancestral instinct that used to save our skin, bad experiences etc. We might not be in danger with our life like cavemen chased by the tiger but we feel just as though we are, even if we're just having an unpleasant experience. Equating the attribute of having emotion to your rational abilities is nonsense. Everyone is capable to rationalize, some aren't knowledgeable of how to do it. It happens a lot, though, where people say, its irrational you feel x. But that's obvious it is, because feeling is irrational in nature, it doesn't exist because I've thought about whether it should or not happen. I don't choose my emotions.

However I might be able to rationalize some events in a way that allows me to be less scared about them, lessen them or have more preparation when they come. Therapy work.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

From my experience there is a lot of lack of education in the population of my area and US, maybe others too, but in terms of understanding emotions.

Having emotions is not a rational or irrational thing, it just is. It takes time for the mind to "rationalize" or process emotion, in some cases is unable to for lifetime.

Emotions don't come because we want them to happen, they happen due to unevolved ancestral instinct that used to save our skin, bad experiences etc. We might not be in danger with our life like cavemen chased by the tiger but we feel just as though we are, even if we're just having an unpleasant experience. Equating the attribute of having emotion to your rational abilities is nonsense. It happens a lot, though, where people say, its irrational you feel x. But that's obvious it is, because feeling is irrational in nature, it doesn't exist because I've thought about whether it should or not happen. I don't choose my emotions.

However I might be able to rationalize some events in a way that allows me to be less scared about them, lessen them or have more preparation when they come. Therapy work.

As an HSP, I feel the label of having emotion should be treated as lesser than because it’s not of logic is scathing. It doesn’t matter if it’s rational or not, emotions are what they are. I have difficulty trying to rationalize them to appease to the majority.

It sounds demonizing where feelings are often undermined despite the fact that they are essential to our mental health. The main problem is that emotion is too often linked with reason and is treated unfavorably compared to logic. They have little to nothing in common, so I really don’t understand why people tend to connect them as if one aspect needs to be placed on such a high pedestal.

 

[All-Rounder]

As an HSP, I feel the label of having emotion should be treated as lesser than because it’s not of logic is scathing. It doesn’t matter if it’s rational or not, emotions are what they are. I have difficulty trying to rationalize them to appease to the majority.

It sounds demonizing where feelings are often undermined despite the fact that they are essential to our mental health. The main problem is that emotion is too often linked with reason and is treated unfavorably compared to logic. They have little to nothing in common, so I really don’t understand why people tend to connect them as if one aspect needs to be placed on such a high pedestal.

Because emotions or trauma can play tricks on the mind. It is not to say they automatically will, but someone who wants to convince you they are good will have an easier way of doing it if they make you feel like they are, instead of producing evidence in their relationships.

 

[Rodafina]

It doesn’t matter if it’s rational or not, emotions are what they are. I have difficulty trying to rationalize them to appease to the majority.

What about using logic and reason to process your emotions, though? This wouldn’t be to appease the majority, but to be able to manage emotions and not be entirely controlled by them. I am not saying that you are controlled by your emotions.

I think while negative emotions and feelings can arise from our past traumas and bad experiences, the way that we make sense of them and the stories that we tell ourselves going forward are what help us to be free from our trauma.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Because emotions or trauma can play tricks on the mind. It is not to say they automatically will, but someone who wants to convince you they are good will have an easier way of doing it if they make you feel like they are, instead of producing evidence in their relationships.

the assumption that emotions are manipulative to the human brain is the reason why I find it to be so demonizing. That in itself is a good example to invalidate people with HSP, because that ideal treats that group of people as lesser than.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

What about using logic and reason to process your emotions, though? This wouldn’t be to appease the majority, but to be able to manage emotions and not be entirely controlled by them. I am not saying that you are controlled by your emotions.

I think while negative emotions and feelings can arise from our past traumas and bad experiences, the way that we make sense of them and the stories that we tell ourselves going forward are what help us to be free from our trauma.

I disagree, because emotions do not link with reason because it is in a different part of the human brain. To try to control one’s emotions is like forcing yourself to eat something you’re allergic to, your body cannot process through that effort, and suppressing such emotions, the necessity to feel sadness and fear, can deeply impact your physical and mental health in a negative way.

One simply cannot move on and let go from trauma, they have to let themselves live THROUGH it, to let themselves have the freedom of expression and know their feelings are valid. Telling someone to let go of one’s emotions is bad advice, because it invalidates the negative feelings that they did not ask for. As an HSP, I do not ask to feel sad, but I feel it anyway.

I suggest you refrain from telling people to control their emotions and rationalize their experiences. Emotions and experiences do not NEED to be rationalized in any way, emotions are not a choice, but rationalism IS. That’s why they don’t mix. Irrationality is still valid whether if one thinks they are being delusional or not.

Using that form of science is discrediting toward people who live with HSP. Emotions are like a storm, you cannot control them, but you can endure through them, because what one feels is normal.

 

[Rodafina]

I suggest you refrain from telling people to control their emotions and rationalize their experiences.

To clarify, I was talking about processing emotions, not controlling them. Processing emotions allows us to make sense of our experiences in the world.

I certainly agree with you that suppressing emotions has a negative impact on our well-being.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The know it alls that really bother me are those who think information is knowledge.

reason many Asian countries have poor education systems, like to debate with my brother's wife who has a master in mathematics who brags how they teach calculus in grade 5. Yes the rules are easy to memorize. Not so easy to apply.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My cousin a teacher told me once she would never discipline. A student for reading too much, never met me I would read the textbook before the classes even began. really bugged the teachers. still smile to myself when I think to myself during a therapy session, had me face the door as I got to distracted reading all the posters. while they were wheeling me into the CT scanner, I read all the advantages of this technique just prior to the doctor removing the clot.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

To clarify, I was talking about processing emotions, not controlling them. Processing emotions allows us to make sense of our experiences in the world.

I certainly agree with you that suppressing emotions has a negative impact on our well-being.

To clarify, to process one’s emotions is specifically to CHANGE something that is undesired. For example, the feeling of sadness is undesired so the person ends up having to change it by enforcing toxic positivity, which is actually similar to controlling one’s emotions.

Keep in mind I said toxic positivity. One should have the freedom to feel sad or angry or traumatized because it is inevitable. To pretend it isn’t is like pretending you’re not allergic to peanuts when you actually are. And just because we experience these negative emotions doesn’t mean they are permanent. Happiness is not permanent either.

Still, all emotions are valid, no matter the impact, and should not be treated as lesser than.

 

[Rodafina]

To clarify, to process one’s emotions is specifically to CHANGE something that is undesired. For example, the feeling of sadness is undesired so the person ends up having to change it by enforcing toxic positivity, which is actually similar to controlling one’s emotions.

I see that we are thinking of things differently. To me, processing sadness means initially feeling the emotion, then understanding it as sadness, and then connecting the sad feeling to the reasons for becoming sad.

The sadness does not go away and the sadness has not changed. But the processing of the sadness means learning about it and simply understanding it.

I also agree with you that these things (feeling emotions and processing emotions) do occur in different parts of the brain. But these parts of our brain are meant to ultimately work together.

I am not trying to invalidate your thoughts, your feelings, or your emotions. I’m not even suggesting you change or do anything at all. I’m just sharing my thoughts that I do think there is value in processing emotions because I like to understand things.

Still, all emotions are valid, no matter the impact, and should not be treated as lesser than.

Definitely.

 

[Forest Cat]

Yes, and I happen to know everything about know-it-alls.

​

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

I see that we are thinking of things differently. To me, processing sadness means initially feeling the emotion, then understanding it as sadness, and then connecting the sad feeling to the reasons for becoming sad.

The sadness does not go away and the sadness has not changed. But the processing of the sadness means learning about it and simply understanding it.

I also agree with you that these things (feeling emotions and processing emotions) do occur in different parts of the brain. But these parts of our brain are meant to ultimately work together.

I am not trying to invalidate your thoughts, your feelings, or your emotions. I’m not even suggesting you change or do anything at all. I’m just sharing my thoughts that I do think there is value in processing emotions because I like to understand things.


Definitely.

I don’t want to argue, but processing negative emotion and perceiving it as a problem is unhelpful and the wrong way to go. When one says to understand an emotion, it translates to know whether an emotion is good or bad. When you state the different parts works as a whole, I think you actually mean they’re in the same organ but are used in different ways of thinking, the organ is pretty much the only thing they have in common.

Processing is still change aka control which means you are aware something is BAD which means the one of your conscience expects you to change something bad into good. Sadness has no moral value, fear has no moral value, no emotion has any moral connected to it. I suggest you not process emotions, aka segregate them as good or bad. Does happiness need to be processed? No. Neither should sadness. The main reason sadness will not go away is because you are trying to demonize it and put negative labels on them.

Emotions are emotions, they are neither good nor bad. Sadness will not go away unless you stop labeling and accept that emotions are not a choice, and they are not moral.

I am going to end this conversation here, and I recommend you do so too, as it is getting us nowhere. And besides, that in itself is straying from the original topic of my OP.

 

[Rodafina]

I understand you don’t wish to continue down this vein, but I am uncomfortable with anyone else reading this who may have misunderstood me as well. So I would like to clarify a few things.

When one says to understand an emotion, it translates to know whether an emotion is good or bad.

That is not what I meant when I said understand an emotion. I literally meant what I said. Understand it. Emotions mean something and getting a better idea of that meaning in my own life is valuable to me.

Does happiness need to be processed?

To me, of course! I only used sadness as an example because that’s what we were talking about. But all emotions need to be processed.

When you state the different parts works as a whole, I think you actually mean they’re in the same organ but are used in different ways of thinking,

This is close, but not exactly what I meant. I mean that the human experience involves thinking. Our brains are very complex and an important part of what it means to be human. Emotions occur in the brain as a reaction. Processing occurs in the brain as thinking.

We are made up of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The feelings (emotions) are not in our control, our thoughts sometimes are in our control, and our behaviors are a result of the previous two. Our behaviors are usually within our control.

It is evident that we think differently here. That’s what conversing in a public forum is all about. Sharing ideas. I have different ideas than you and that should not make either one of us feel threatened. It’s okay for ideas to be different and also to be shared.

It’s just conversation. Just discussion. What the forum is all about.

 

[All-Rounder]

the assumption that emotions are manipulative to the human brain is the reason why I find it to be so demonizing. That in itself is a good example to invalidate people with HSP, because that ideal treats that group of people as lesser than.

Well that's everyone that's human though.

If as autistics we feel deeper that doesn't make us inferior. Everyone needs to learn to distinguish between emotion and fact. Sometimes emotion is indicative of something wrong, other times we get false positive.

Some would think that people with less emotional depth can control their impulses better or have better logic but it's not true.