Having asperger syndrome has been making me depressed/suicidal. Please help me.

[Fridgemagnetman]

Would you ever tell her that she is a worthless human being, a socially awkward freak and a general a** hole? Imagine for a second yelling those things at her, imagine how upset she would be. I'm hoping you wouldn't, that whatever logic passes for an aspie conscience would prevent you treating another person like that.

Yes. Most of us believe in equality.

Yet we forget to treat ourselves as fairly and with the consideration that we treat others.

Just remind yourself about equality.

Treating yourself better also helps to treat others better.

Sometimes that can be a worthy goal.

 

[Catana]

Just came across this quote by Maya Angelou, which seems appropriate for this thread, and for many similar threads here.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

—Maya Angelou

 

[Mary Anne]

[QUOTE="AloneNotLonely, post: 516398, member: 19948".how is designing machines used to kill zillions of cows a "big accomplishment"? I'd say that's the negative of a "big accomplishment".[/QUOTE]

Temple Grandin NEVER “designed machines to kill cows.” She wins all humane treatment awards, for designing / engineering walkways, chutes, and enclosures to calm cattle, and treat them kindly. Grandin LOVES animals.

No one could stop the beef industry, but Grandin is always been at the very top of working as activist to prevent cruelty and inhuman treatment to ALL livestock. As someone who is a staunch animal rights activist, I have to disagree with you 100% and can find many documents, and videos pertaining to her activism for humane treatments. She has been instrumental in getting the government to shut down slaughter facilities!

 

[AloneNotLonely]

People such as Temple Grandin are the absolute worst there are. They perpetuate the myth that there is such a thing as "humane slaughter".

Do you know why the meat industry wants calm, happy cattle? Because it makes the killing more efficient. It makes meat cheaper. Leading to the sale of more meat. Not that the meat industry can survive without the billions in tax being pumped into it to keep the state-sanctioned torture going, but more money is more money.

Apart from that, she's a meat industry spokesperson no matter which way you slaughter a cow. Without people such as Temple Grandin, people would find it even harder to justify their culinary habits. People like her leave the masses in a trance of "These animals don't have it that bad, look Temple Grandin is here to give all the cows happy happy lives. I don't need to change my habits because things will change automatically without me having to lift a finger, soon there will be nothing but ethical meat for sale".

"Livestock" are the only beings on earth unfortunate enough to deserve so little of our sympathy that people (Even animal rights activists) literally cheer the development of more efficient ways to kill them.

 

[tree]

The topic of this thread is not animal rights or the morality of eating meat.


The topic of this thread is to provide any support that you can
for the 17 year old male OP who stated in his first post:

"I'm trying extremely hard not to resort to killing myself because i don't want to be selfish or hurt those i love, but i just really need some support right now. Help me... please."

Please direct your replies toward that end.

 

[Samuel]

Would you ever treat your mother like that?

Would you ever tell her that she is a worthless human being, a socially awkward freak and a general a** hole? Imagine for a second yelling those things at her, imagine how upset she would be. I'm hoping you wouldn't, that whatever logic passes for an aspie conscience would prevent you treating another person like that. So answer me this, why would you treat yourself like this? Why would you say things like this about yourself? There is no logical reason for it. It's okay to have aspergers, it's quirky, we are capable of independent thought. We are awesome. So I would urge you to stop treating yourself like this and to show some respect for yourself and your gifts.

You seem to be trying so hard that you're exhausting me just thinking about it. So calm down, relax, find something about yourself to respect and go from there. It could be anything. I started with my ability to shop, I like my ability to shop for hours, endlessly. I also like my hair. In the meantime here is some recommended reading that I would class as the best 'self help' for aspies book I've ever found:

https://www.amazon.com/Fish-Could-W...56477&sr=8-1&keywords=the+fish+who+could+wish

That is a very good question. I think the reason why i treat myself so badly is because i just can't get over the fact that i'm so different from everyone else. I know every single human being in the world is different in some way but when you having a mental illness like aspergers is an unimaginable kind of different ( at least for Nt's. ) I also hate a lot of my aspie quirks/behaviors and i feel like they annoy a lot of the normal people around me. To tell you the truth though, i never really wanted to be normal. I like having aspergers even if it has a lot of challenges, i just wish i could interact and socialize with people without making things awkward, coming off as a weirdo or people criticizing my behavior. There are a few things that i'm very good at. Even though i'm bad at real world situations i still know a lot about music and movies, and i'm especially good at photography. I'm ok with having aspergers like i said, it's just the challenges of it and the way other people treat me that's making me depressed. Hopefully i'll eventually get out of this very rough time in my life that i'm going through and something good will come out of my gifts. Thank you for your response. It helped me feel a little bit better about myself.

 

[Bella Pines]

That is a very good question. I think the reason why i treat myself so badly is because i just can't get over the fact that i'm so different from everyone else.

And there in a nutshell is our aspie brilliance. If I said that to an NT, if I said "you wouldn't speak about others like that so pull it together and find something about yourself that you like", they would probably cry. In fact they have done. Especially when I say things like "do you understand how you got yourself into this situation?". But not us. One of our super powers is to objectively analyse a situation and actually try to understand it. Yes, there is a bit of an overthinking problem, but generally speaking we see the world clearly and draw logical conclusions. Maybe this is your starting point, maybe the logical clarity of thought could be where you focus on step #1 of your journey to liking and appreciating you.

I know every single human being in the world is different in some way but when you having a mental illness like aspergers is an unimaginable kind of different ( at least for Nt's. )

Step #2 is to stop calling it an illness. We are exactly what we are supposed to be, there's no cure! Though saying that, I do have some hormone suppressant theories on how to cure NTs...

i just wish i could interact and socialize with people without making things awkward, coming off as a weirdo or people criticizing my behavior.

This took me 10 years to acknowledge the problem and 20 years of practice to get to an acceptable state. I haven't by any means mastered social interactions but I've studied small talk and irrational NT needs enough to pass.

Step #3 break up the problems into smaller chunks and search for threads on each problem. For example small talk can be broken down into a simple flow chart and script rendition.

I'm ok with having aspergers like i said, it's just the challenges of it and the way other people treat me that's making me depressed.

And finally step #4. You need to accept them. A lot of aspies complain, "why can't people just accept us for who we are?". Well, for the self same reason that we can't accept them. People will treat us in all sorts of ways. People treat me with contempt, disdain, one really wet and emotional NT actually sneers when she looks at me, literally, she can't stand to be in the same room as me. Some people even treat me with fear. But they are perfectly entitled to have opinions! I can't and won't tell them what to think. If they like me then great, if not then equally great. If they hate me then at least they have an emotion and are not outright ignoring me. So this really is your problem. You are no more accepting of their opinions than they are of you and your reaction is self harming. So next time it happens, take a breath, relax and say to yourself "I never did mind about the little things".

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

And finally step #4. You need to accept them. A lot of aspies complain, "why can't people just accept us for who we are?".

Before I realised ''aspergers' I had already read so many books on early human society, how and why it formed the way it did.

All for legitimate reasons, including the reasons why we are left outside.

Being outside can give us a viewpoint and an interest.

Knowing why we're outside,ostracized etc and that it is essentially the same now as it was from the time early humans gathered together --- facinating to me.

That was one of my several paths to acceptance .

It is what it is, as an NT,may may ,not needing to know anything about anything ..

I often feel that this pressure we feel is often the external pressure we have received from others all our lives.

We have internalised it so deep , we don't realise it isn't ours..

Our process then,becomes one of accepting but also rejecting .

That doesn't belong to me, it's a downside of the way tribal society uses shame to control etc, lots of things.

A fascinating journey, for an observer.

As we learn to accept and reject what we have been given through our lives.

Also know, as equally as it is possible to think one thing, it is also possible to think the opposite.
Practicing that releases us from some chains, as we can get stuck in certain thought-lines.

 

[Nick12]

NEVER NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF BE HAPPY WHO YOU ARE I WISH YOU A VERRY VERRY VERRY HAPPY DAY