Hello--- and questions

[ystava]

Thanks for all the information and examples. Wow, looks like you have a lot on your plate in terms of things happening in your life and that are about to happen, and in terms of the specific signs and symptoms as seen by the examples you gave which says a lot. You seem to have many abilities like us all as well. I just know by all you said I can see why you came here too, as many here have one or more conditions that can be somewhat similar in many ways, with some or many of the executive function difficulties you discussed. I'll leave it up to you to determine how to best use the information you gave, but it sounds like you won half the battle there in figuring all that out with self-analysis and making some reasonable conclusions or possibilities based on that.

firehose... sorry.

 

[ystava]

And I do science for a living... so observation and measurement is just what I'm doing all the time.

 

[ystava]

So back to the main question... how do you tell if a therapist or doctor is the right one? Is there a certification I should be looking for. Membership of any professional groups etc?

 

[1ForAll]

So back to the main question... how do you tell if a therapist or doctor is the right one? Is there a certification I should be looking for. Membership of any professional groups etc?

It depends. If you are just looking for some treatment, it could be a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, Phd. , or MD/D.O, respectively as examples, for those in the U.S.. If ever wanting a diagnosis, consider picking some specialist in neurodevelopmental disorders, if you suspect one or more of the two mentioned conditions. Therapists with less education or professional degrees though can be just as good as higher qualified medical professionals for treatment, from family experiences we have seen.

In our case, personality matters, too, needing often one that analyzes well, is friendly, detailed, and/or can deviate some from traditional ways, if need be. If one is not comfortable with one medical professional they see, try another. We all have different preferences, triggers and needs, so we won't usually know until we give one a chance to see how that goes. For diagnostics though, a specialist as mentioned is strongly preferred. However, if that is not a huge need now, you will have more choices to just discuss your most urgent issues and to try to better one or more of those..

 

[ystava]

It depends. If you are just looking for some treatment, it could be a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, Phd. , or MD/D.O, respectively as examples, for those in the U.S.. If ever wanting a diagnosis, consider picking some specialist in neurodevelopmental disorders, if you suspect one or more of the two mentioned conditions. Therapists with less education or professional degrees though can be just as good as higher qualified medical professionals for treatment, from family experiences we have seen.

In our case, personality matters, too, needing often one that analyzes well, is friendly, detailed, and/or can deviate some from traditional ways, if need be. If one is not comfortable with one medical professional they see, try another. We all have different preferences, triggers and needs, so we won't usually know until we give one a chance to see how that goes. For diagnostics though, a specialist as mentioned is strongly preferred. However, if that is not a huge need now, you will have more choices to just discuss your most urgent issues and to try to better one or more of those..

Helpful.

I have anxiety meeting new people. It makes reading new people/situations a little difficult.

Do you interview them before you see them? Is that out of line?


The idea of trial and error choosing someone without any context is daunting.

Any tips for that?

 

[1ForAll]

Helpful.

I have anxiety meeting new people. It makes reading new people/situations a little difficult.

Do you interview them before you see them? Is that out of line?


The idea of trial and error choosing someone without any context is daunting.

Any tips for that?

Although I have never done so, because I feared some doctors rejecting me or critiquing me if they felt judged there, yes, I have heard of others interviewing doctors before. So, I just did a quick search and even insurance companies recommend you interview several before finding the one that seems the best fit for one's own situation and desires. I just do not know how it would be best for you to go about that, if you should choose to interview them. I mean, face-to-face, through zoom type video or telephone, as their answers through writing would only say so much. If you feel the need to do that, to lessen your anxiety, of course choose that first before settling at least temporarily on someone. Maybe others here could give better advice there as I never considered such also as our less quality insurance coverage does not give us much choice in who we see, as very few higher standing professionals or specialists accept our insurances.

 

[Sunny1]

Welcome.

 

[ystava]

Although I have never done so, because I feared some doctors rejecting me or critiquing me if they felt judged there, yes, I have heard of others interviewing doctors before. So, I just did a quick search and even insurance companies recommend you interview several before finding the one that seems the best fit for one's own situation and desires. I just do not know how it would be best for you to go about that, if you should choose to interview them. I mean, face-to-face, through zoom type video or telephone, as their answers through writing would only say so much. If you feel the need to do that, to lessen your anxiety, of course choose that first before settling at least temporarily on someone. Maybe others here could give better advice there as I never considered such also as our less quality insurance coverage does not give us much choice in who we see, as very few higher standing professionals or specialists accept our insurances.

Yeah--

One reason I've gone it alone for so long is because I function just well enough to not have to be disappointed by our "health care" system.

That's why I'm trying to break it down into 3 parts.... (1) immediate help for the stuff that's short-circuiting me now, and just dealing with the symptoms as they are now, (2) deciding whether there's a benefit to actually getting an assessment... because I'm not sure what that is since I'm not seeking accommodations from work or school (3) actually getting assessed.

Also, though my wife's work in 6-9 months I may be able to get into some pretty cost-effective care because she works for a university. That's too long for my current issues.

I might be able to get along with only #1

 

[Stuttermabolur]

So back to the main question... how do you tell if a therapist or doctor is the right one? Is there a certification I should be looking for. Membership of any professional groups etc?

Speaking anecdotally here and I suspect I might have been very fortunate. I looked up psychologists specializing in ASD by duckduckgoing, and found one with her own website. She put a lot of emphasis on supporting people to be their best selves and listening to what they actually want help with instead of solely integrating them into society and making them socialize (unless that's what they need help with). She also included a lot of resources, interviews with autistic people and even a movie scene (see end of comment) to support any autistic people or their relatives who might venture to the site. Just the tone made me sure I had found a good one.

Like you, I didn't have a diagnosis and wasn't sure what exactly to talk about, but it was surprisingly... fun? And quite useful. She told me at the end of it that though she can't officially diagnose me, she is quite certain I'm autistic and that I probably shouldn't bother getting an official one because of how much of a bother it is. I saw her once more a few years later and both time she refused to accept payment.

I suspect she might be autistic herself. Her main job is as a programmer, she has several autistic family members and the second time I visited we ended up spending a significant amount of time discussing the war in Ukraine which we are both somewhat obsessive about, even though it wasn't strictly related to the reason I went there. I also felt similar speaking to her as when I have conversed with other autistic people (similar communication "rhytm"), which is very different to how I felt going to a different therapist (best described as "weird and useless").

P.S. I think people might better be able to help you if we know what your country of residence is. I know it isn't Finland but that's about it.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! Glad to see you've been able to identify a comprehensive list of your concerns as that would be very helpful in trying to identify the supports and strategies that you may benefit from.

 

[ystava]

Speaking anecdotally here and I suspect I might have been very fortunate. I looked up psychologists specializing in ASD by duckduckgoing, and found one with her own website. She put a lot of emphasis on supporting people to be their best selves and listening to what they actually want help with instead of solely integrating them into society and making them socialize (unless that's what they need help with). She also included a lot of resources, interviews with autistic people and even a movie scene (see end of comment) to support any autistic people or their relatives who might venture to the site. Just the tone made me sure I had found a good one.

Like you, I didn't have a diagnosis and wasn't sure what exactly to talk about, but it was surprisingly... fun? And quite useful. She told me at the end of it that though she can't officially diagnose me, she is quite certain I'm autistic and that I probably shouldn't bother getting an official one because of how much of a bother it is. I saw her once more a few years later and both time she refused to accept payment.

I suspect she might be autistic herself. Her main job is as a programmer, she has several autistic family members and the second time I visited we ended up spending a significant amount of time discussing the war in Ukraine which we are both somewhat obsessive about, even though it wasn't strictly related to the reason I went there. I also felt similar speaking to her as when I have conversed with other autistic people (similar communication "rhytm"), which is very different to how I felt going to a different therapist (best described as "weird and useless").

P.S. I think people might better be able to help you if we know what your country of residence is. I know it isn't Finland but that's about it.

USA... Northeast

 

[ystava]

So I have a follow up post in the "help and support" area. If anyone wants to throw some advice my way.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Hi.

I'm ystava (which means friend in Finnish). I'm 50. Have a PhD. I do science for a living.

I believe that I am undiagnosed ADD; I am suspicious that I may also be undiagnosed autism spectrum (or something else). I'm not necessarily seeking a diagnosis. I'm not looking for job accommodations or medication or anything in particular. I was identified in 1st grade as having a "learning disability" by a child psychologist, but this was before ADD was a thing, and I don't think I had enough markers to be evaluated other ways. In the 70's I think parents really tried to avoid having labels applied to kids anyway. Saw the child psychologist again in middle school for school and socialization problems (I was bullied a lot a lot).

Be that as it may. I am what I am and this is what I have to work with. I'm 100% sure I would easily be assessed for ADD... and I already manage it and cope with it for the most part.

What I am dealing with is a some transitions in my career (transitions have always been trouble for me)... and some family issues with my kids that have been completely overwhelming my bandwidth and I've been having trouble keeping myself centered. The coping strategies I've relied on in the past just don't seem to be cutting it. I've signed up for some local seminars for adults with ADD as a starter, but I think I need additional counseling.

I am completely frozen how to go about finding it.

I'm also up for a possible promotion which would greatly increase my need for better performance in interpersonal relationships. I've long struggled with this due to conditioning and my nature. I don't know if it's autism or not... Dr Google isn't a good doctor... I don't care what to call it. I have a good number of markers. I'm relatively high functioning by most standards, but there are lots of ways I'm a disaster. I can mask or adjust for a lot of them because my job affords me a lot of control over my setting. I know I need to look into it because my ability to network and interact with people (especially strangers) can be remedial. Also while reading all the latest and greatest research I find out that sexuality/gender are sometimes wrapped up in all of this and boy did that hit a little close to home.

So, how do I find someone? What do I look for? I first thought I should get an assessment, but then realized that maybe I should just get in a relationship with a doctor or counselor and let them decide whether I need the assessment and what that would accomplish. I really just want to get to where I can think clearly again.

The university I work near has a program, but they are booked up. They sent me a list of local providers, but I don't know how to decide which one I should use or what I should do. The actual assessment part doesn't matter to me so much as managing my mind; I'm having a heck of a time right now stilling it enough to think about work and the stuff I should be filling my day with.

That's the intro and the big question. Otherwise hello.

Hello Ystava

Welcome.

A name which means “friend” is nice.

Sorry you were bullied at school, me too, it would have been better to have known about autism and sent to a sympathetic school, but it is what it is.

It’s good you manage it and cope with it for the most part.

Some of us struggle with change. I am not a fan of sudden change. A bit of warning, or a lot of warning is best for me.

I hope you get the support you want.

Sorry to hear you are frozen about knowing where to find it, it can be like that.

We have charities in the UK and the good old NHS.

Difficulties with interpersonal relationships is common in autism, I had it, still do, think I am getting better.

No, Dr Google isn't a good doctor, I wish I’d have made more use of libraries before the internet, they don’t come up with that silly blue horned cartoon character casting his rod in a hole in the snow (dunno if you have seen that, it happens when google can’t find answers.

Also, I have made myself paranoid using Dr Google, or even using Google as an advice service or other non medical stuff.

Masking is common, undiagnosed, I think we do not know we are doing it.

How do I find someone?

I would put my questions down and go to advice services. We have Citizens Advice in the UK, but I recently heard it’s a nightmare to get through to them on the phone. They used to be paid staff there, now it’s volunteers.

We have a charity called SCOPE who recently helped me with welfare benefits questions.

If you want an AS diagnosis, or ADHD, your doctor is first port of call, it is in the UK.

There are some online autism and ADHD tests, not diagnostic, but they give indicators.

I think the one I used is called RDOS.

Maybe enquire with the providers, sorry your university is booked up.





I hope this post has been of some help.