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Hello everyone I think I am an Aspie

AspieChris said:
If a police officer stops you for running through a stop sign, don’t you try to sound normal so that he doesn’t assume you’re drunk?

If your boss wants to know why you didn’t come to work yesterday, don’t you lie and say it was the flu? (To sound nornal)

When a friend or potential romantic partner asks a question we tend to lie because we deserve companionship, but we’re really just trying to navigate the world that everyone else has created rules for
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I think in all three of these situations it is actually better to be honest and deal with the repercussions of honesty rather than lying. If you are anything like me, lying is a confusing and draining process that takes meaning out of everything. Finding the way to speak truthfully even in difficult situations allows us to be our authentic selves. Finding a way to get others to understand can be difficult, but worth it to live a life without lying.
 
Thank you Chris for the insights.

Today I really want to stay here in the 'bunker' I have carefully crafted with it's tall hedges, gates, trees and lots of privacy.

But my friend will have made efforts to welcome me and I would be letting him down by not turning up. I would also have missed out on the companionship.

So I will 'brave the day' knowing that it will feel great to be home again tonight.

I need to get ready now..that will take a while, so many details to attend to.
 
Rodafina said:
I think in all three of these situations it is actually better to be honest and deal with the repercussions of honesty rather than lying. If you are anything like me, lying is a confusing and draining process that takes meaning out of everything. Finding the way to speak truthfully even in difficult situations allows us to be our authentic selves. Finding a way to get others to understand can be difficult, but worth it to live a life without lying.
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Believe it ir not I really do agree that honesty is infinitely better than lying. I was only pointing out that we often do try to cover up the truth in some situations because of the knowledge that the truth doesn’t always set you free. I have found myself in these types of situations many times. I pay my traffic tickets, deal with the boss’s attendance policy legitimately, and am a very solid friend. But I do think that there is a place for not being completely honest, when my quirks would be misunderstood and get me into a lot of trouble that I don’t deserve simply because someone else makes an assumption that my ‘quirks’ are the lie.

I have come dangerously close to spending the night in jail when a well-meaning police officer mistook my nervousness for drug use. I learned from that encounter to put my mask on tight sometimes.
 
Yeah, like in the drug situation, I often hide reactions that others would find exaggerated. Last week I felt awful, because I had to fix my car and didn't get enough sleep and the domophone rang and woke me up when I tried to sleep and was nervous on top of it all. I must have looked like something happened to me, but I tried to at least artificially smile and have a calm voice at e.g. the taxi driver and salespeople. If I did what I wanted so I would not put on an artificial smile these people would think I'm angry at them (or at least I think they would) and wouldn't be nice to me in return. This way, they at least thought "this guy is clearly not doing okay, and his smile isn't convincing at all, but he's trying, so I'm going to try too".
 
I sometimes get angry that I have to hide. I’m used to it, so my anger is rare. It feels like having nothing but friends and co-workers who are tall, and I’m the only short one in the group. Being the butt of every short joke. Getting passed up by good potential partners because women prefer tall men. Zero consideration for who I am on the inside. And somehow it’s all my fault? It’s a daily struggle to hide the unfairness of it all.
 
I haven't been here for a while but I'm still around and will pop in from time to time.

I would like to thank you all for making me feel so welcome.
 
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