Hello everyone

[LostInIsolation]

Hello everyone, My name is Derek, age 38 sadly, I was diagnosed as a child with High functioning autism, I have been looking for ways to meet local friends but failed so I thought maybe someone in a forum could help me and have someone to talk to,

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome to the forum, lots of great members here. Do you have any special interests you wish to share with us? I love cooking, and hitting gym.

 

[Xinyta]

Glad to have you with us, @LostInIsolation

It's a difficult thing to make friends and keep them. But if it helps any. You have all of us to talk to, especially with anything you struggle with. You are among fellow NDs who understand.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Greetings Derek!

 

[FayetheAspie]

Welcome!

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome, @LostInIsolation. Maybe some of the sadness and isolation will not be too powerful while you are here.

 

[LostInIsolation]

Welcome to the forum, lots of great members here. Do you have any special interests you wish to share with us? I love cooking, and hitting gym.

REPLY TO ASPYCHATA
My cooking skill is probably as bad as jar jar binks's. I mean i love anime, kdrama, kpop, being outdoors, boating, camping, traveling even though i never got to, exploring, hiking, gaming, comicon(Never been) renasaunce festival, mardi gras, live music sports, tailgating, these are all things id love to do. I live off 1600ss per month with a 200 rent and no bills thx to me living with my father in gonzaless louisiana, but never got any education at all except what i taught myself so going out alone will only result is me freaking out because ill put myself in a situation where i dont know what to do or feel uncomfortable being alone.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
MY REPLY TO XINYTA
Thank you for your kind words, I do however need to find people in person to talk to as talking online helps a little but in person contact is whats really needed and i have tried more than 10 groups all of which made it worse because all we did was volenteer which felt pathetic because everyone around me was not high functioning autism most were disabled and i felt so sorry for them and i went from being imprisoned in my fathers trailor to a workplace i wasnt being paid for and there was usualy no talking because most of those autistic people either didnt talk at all or had no idea what i was talking about on any subject i mentioned.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
MY REPLY TO JUMPINBARE
1stly thank you for the kindness in your greeting, but I've no idea what your message is about.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
MY REPLY TO FAYETHEASPIE
Hello FayetheAspie, Thank you for your kind greeting.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
MY REPLY TO RODAFINA
I love your name, its like a female Yoda name, lol very cool. Thank you for your kindness, and "You are so right-Kylo Ren" The isolation for me here is worse than death, & being around my father or his friends or anyone not like me makes it much, much worse, truth is, I have never believed in suicide and is why i never canceled myself. The isolation and lonliness i have both of which are chronic I have suffered from Chronic isolation *Chronic lonliness since 2016, thats how long its been since i enjoyed a movie or been out bowling or had any friends at all, it has gotten so serious that I even researched and was very serious about signing a contract with the devil himself if even possible, my soul in exchange for a girlfriend or friends even if he brakes the deal and kills me in a month, a month of fake happiness is better than a life without any to me, I even offered 500 usd for one week of someone just hanging out with be pretending to be my friend, I am desperate to the poing i even thought about leaving the country but at the moment i am struggling because im bying up pcs and playstations and so on trying everything to bring some happiness but have determined money wont buy happiness unless theres someone to spend it with.

I am not showing signs of colan cancer, my family on my mothers side had it deep in her family history so im high risk, but my isolation has gotten so bad that ive chosen to ignore it and let it take my life. I have tried for since 2016 to find a single friend, more than that, i would 100% trade my soul for a girlfriend, a girlfriend is the one thing at this point, i want more than actual salvation, my dream was to do what my sister did, have my own house or trailor, wide and at least one child, but that was stolen from me by a god who cursed me at birth with this satanic curse i call autism, and i call it satanic because the 2 friends i did have in november of 2016 were like me, but on november 30th one comitted suicide to escape his lonliness, the other did the same on december 22 2016, since then my life went from basic and ok to a prison of unearthly lonliness and isolation that would drive a normal person to become like those from the old russian sleep expirament crazy as a chiwawa next to his treat bowl.

The only reason i havent canceled myself if a fear of biblical hades

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome. Being outdoor, canoeing and traveling are interests we have in common.

Your situation (not you) sounds wretched. Why don’t you leave and go someplace new?

 

[Jumpinbare]

MY REPLY TO JUMPINBARE
1stly thank you for the kindness in your greeting, but I've no idea what your message is about.
__

I think just literally said "Greetings Derek"

 

[Tired]

I think just literally said "Greetings Derek"

maybe he sees your signature as an additional text?

 

[LostInIsolation]

Welcome. Being outdoor, canoeing and traveling are interests we have in common.

Your situation (not you) sounds wretched. Why don’t you leave and go someplace new?

I don't have transportation, can't afford anywhere to live, it's all too expensive and the places I can live are in the ghetto where people get shot all the time, it's the worst areas in the city. I don't have any idea how to move on my own, the last time I tried I ended up homeless because I couldn't understand the paperwork, and I didn't understand the requirements until it was too late, and I also lost ally stuff because I couldn't move it out. Sorry I am bad at explaining stuff, I just don't know how to do that on my own and am so gullible evidently that it's so easy for me to be tricked or lied to, surviving on my own completely I'm not really capable of doing.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry you feel so down about your situation. Perhaps reading other past posts here, you will see others that struggle, however forum members post supportive answers. On my down days, l have received support from others , and l very am very thankful for this
forum.

 

[LostInIsolation]

I agree, I've

Sorry you feel so down about your situation. Perhaps reading other past posts here, you will see others that struggle, however forum members post supportive answers. On my down days, l have received support from others , and l very am very thankful for this
forum.

found many kind and supportive people here already thank y'all all so much for all of your kondnesses

 

[Tired]

Welcome, Derek, that's a really nice name you have there, but a rather sad nickname. Hopefully you'll feel less isolated here, the forum is very active.

 

[DrBadStrings]

Hi there and welcome to the forum. Lots of great folks here with helpful advice. Not me though. I'm only kidding. The irony here being I don't have any helpful advice right now. Once I get a chance to read all of the replies after your initial message I'll follow up. I'm sure you've already answered with some of your interests and some of the things you've already thought to try.

 

[stevens]

MY REPLY TO RODAFINA
...I am not showing signs of colan cancer, my family on my mothers side had it deep in her family history so im high risk, but my isolation has gotten so bad that ive chosen to ignore it and let it take my life. I have tried for since 2016 to find a single friend, more than that, i would 100% trade my soul for a girlfriend, a girlfriend is the one thing at this point, i want more than actual salvation, my dream was to do what my sister did, have my own house or trailor, wide and at least one child, but that was stolen from me by a god who cursed me at birth with this satanic curse i call autism, and i call it satanic because the 2 friends i did have in november of 2016 were like me, but on november 30th one comitted suicide to escape his lonliness, the other did the same on december 22 2016, since then my life went from basic and ok to a prison of unearthly lonliness and isolation that would drive a normal person to become like those from the old russian sleep expirament crazy as a chiwawa next to his treat bowl.

The only reason i havent canceled myself if a fear of biblical hades

I had a an acquaintance, not quite really a friend, who apparently did the same thing with testicular cancer (which normally has about a 98% cure rate). It was sad, because Nick had much more to offer the world than he took from it. Like many, he didn't seem depressed although he did express some disappointments in himself.

What you wrote kind of resembles what I did during the hopeless phase of my life, when I was marking time and drinking too much. Kind of a, well what's the use? approach to everything. I'm probably very lucky that years later there hasn't been significant damage. The crushing loneliness that you describe is very familiar to me. I have lived it too. Even with others in my life today, I still feel it. Every one of us has to have something to live for. For people like us, there must be at least one thing that is of our own making, upon which we may depend apart from the approval of other people. What do you have that might help in that regard?

And then, is there any way you could attend an on-line support group. There are some that can be attended by people who are not in the organizers' location. At least one group, in New York, does these. Is there any resource locally? Just the periodic ability to talk to others like us can lighten the sense of doom.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I don't have transportation, can't afford anywhere to live, it's all too expensive and the places I can live are in the ghetto where people get shot all the time, it's the worst areas in the city. I don't have any idea how to move on my own, the last time I tried I ended up homeless because I couldn't understand the paperwork, and I didn't understand the requirements until it was too late, and I also lost ally stuff because I couldn't move it out. Sorry I am bad at explaining stuff, I just don't know how to do that on my own and am so gullible evidently that it's so easy for me to be tricked or lied to, surviving on my own completely I'm not really capable of doing.

If you are interested in changing your life, you can contact Disability Rights Louisiana. Here is the link:

Disability Rights Louisiana

This is a national program with offices in every state because state rules are different one from another.

Louisiana does have a Home and Community Based Waiver. It can provide you with help moving, living on your own (with supports), money management, bill paying, etc., etc. Disability Rights will help,you get on that program.

I worked more than 20 years in Florida’s disability system and I am sure you can get help with these things.

Let me know if you have any questions.

 

[LostInIsolation]

If you are interested in changing your life, you can contact Disability Rights Louisiana. Here is the link:

Disability Rights Louisiana

This is a national program with offices in every state because state rules are different one from another.

Louisiana does have a Home and Community Based Waiver. It can provide you with help moving, living on your own (with supports), money management, bill paying, etc., etc. Disability Rights will help,you get on that program.

I worked more than 20 years in Florida’s disability system and I am sure you can get help with these things.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks but, over a decade & a half ago I left assisted living against drs orders, one of the primary agreements was that I was never to get into legal trouble involving suicide attempts or if i apply for a waiver again, my old status would be reinstated and my 20 something year fight to leave assisted living would be in vain. Also, I am not elegagable anyway, I tried to see if I'd even meet the requirements, what they want I can't give them, the changes and procedures id have to accept id never be able to accept. More than that, after the horrors that the put me through for over 20 years, I can never trust the state, I will only deal with people on the outside, making friends by meeting people I can do, but I will forever stay away from anything state related

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Thanks but, over a decade & a half ago I left assisted living against drs orders, one of the primary agreements was that I was never to get into legal trouble involving suicide attempts or if i apply for a waiver again, my old status would be reinstated and my 20 something year fight to leave assisted living would be in vain. Also, I am not elegagable anyway, I tried to see if I'd even meet the requirements, what they want I can't give them, the changes and procedures id have to accept id never be able to accept. More than that, after the horrors that the put me through for over 20 years, I can never trust the state, I will only deal with people on the outside, making friends by meeting people I can do, but I will forever stay away from anything state related

I’m really sorry to hear of your experiences. It isn’t always that way, but unless someone like you has a good advocate, things can go awry.

 

[Xinyta]

MY REPLY TO XINYTA
Thank you for your kind words, I do however need to find people in person to talk to as talking online helps a little but in person contact is whats really needed and i have tried more than 10 groups all of which made it worse because all we did was volenteer which felt pathetic because everyone around me was not high functioning autism most were disabled and i felt so sorry for them and i went from being imprisoned in my fathers trailor to a workplace i wasnt being paid for and there was usualy no talking because most of those autistic people either didnt talk at all or had no idea what i was talking about on any subject i mentioned.

I honestly applaud your desire for in person relationships with people. This is becoming a very rare commodity, in this day and age. Especially with everyone burying thier faces into thier phones.

Though from what sounds like. Your options are limited, if not non-existent. Which is unfortunate. I personally am not sure what I could personally suggest myself. Though it does look like other members have already posted things in this regard.

It's dang hard. Feeling like you are alone in this world. Feeling like everything is against you. But opportunity will still present itself. All it takes is faith.