Hello from the other side (Down Under)

[EstimatedProphet]

EstimatedProphet

I want this tattooed on my forehead:

Post-ASD-diagnosis, I realized that all of those conditions were symptoms of the underlying ASD making me wonder what the hell is the matter with me for 40 years (and the associated anxiety, need for control, and the shame underlying all of it).

Slowly, all of those things are going away as I learn to swim WITH the tide of Asperger's and not against it. (like a riptide -- swim with the current even if it puts you farther out to sea, because if you try to swim against the current you'll surely drown...)

Yes!

Yes, yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

That's gonna be some mighty small print to fit two paragraphs on your forehead!! It'll be backwards in the mirror, you know....

Thanks for the kind words...those lessons cost a fortune of treasure and tears and surely took many years from my life expectancy. I hope I can save others that cost, particularly my youngest son diagnosed at age 3!

 

[EstimatedProphet]

Hi there,

I have been lurking in the shadows of a few Autism and Asperger's sites, researching (as I do) and I decided tonight to stop by and introduce myself. I'm in a lovely part of the world in South Australia. I have a love of animals and have 5 cats and a dog, hence "Fluffy".
At present I have self diagnosed Asperger's only, but I am seeing a psychologist for mental health conditions. I guess that's what has prompted me to step out of the shadows and post...

I'm having a difficult time of it tonight because I have a psychologist's appointment tomorrow and I am feeling rather nervous about it. I plan to brooch the topic of my self-diagnosis (which has occurred since my last visit which was over a month ago) with my psychologist and I am worried about being shot down in flames or told I'm over thinking it. My Dr doesn't like to label things, which I think is both very clever and very annoying. On the one hand she knows that I am sensitive and intelligent and will research (hence not labelling) but on the other hand, for me I NEED TO KNOW why it is that I always feel like I don't quite belong. I've felt that Depression and Anxiety have never quite been descriptive enough and last year I was diagnosed by a mental health clinician (not a psychologist) as having Borderline Personality Disorder or being somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum. I've never actually been told which, but I have been on various medications which have proven to be very potent and unpleasant even in extremely low doses.

I have taken a number of online tests and all of them have indicated that I am well above the baseline for a diagnosis (usually quite high) of Asperger's however I am aware that quite a few of them are only intended to be taken under the guidance of a Dr.

I only stumbled upon my potential Aspie status by accident after calling a mental health hotline after a breakdown/meltdown one day. I was talking to the man on the other end about what I have been diagnosed with in the past so he could better understand how I was feeling and he mentioned that there have been quite a few incidences where people, particularly women, have been incorrectly diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder or other similar disorders. I thought it was an odd thing to say until I read a few posts on forums and blogs about the incidences where this has occurred and then I happened across checklists and Asperger's symptoms specific to women. That's when my life changed. My heart went from my boots to my head as I read off dot point after dot point of things I could relate to. A couple of things I read I thought I was the only one who has experienced it and it was validating in a way to know that there are others out there who have these same baffling symptoms and that there is a name for it. I guess I feel like it is the shoe that fits me the best so far and to be honest there's not a great deal for me to cling to right now so I need to know that I am still somewhat attached to reality in my self diagnosis. I feel like I could keep on writing and writing but I won't, lol.

Look forward to seeing you around the boards,
Fluffy

EDIT: I forgot to mention I also have a pet freshwater crayfish or "yabby" as they are known here. No, he's not fluffy, but he does have lovely long whiskers LOL.

Winner for crayfish avatar.

 

[Fluffy]

I have better pictures of my other yabby who passed away last week. He was much more extroverted, larger and have particularly nice claw colour for a common yabby (cherax destructor). I was away on holiday *shudder* and came home to find that the filter had somehow managed to clog (someone overfed him) while we were away and he was dead I feel a bit silly talking about it, but I was genuinely sad about him dying. I felt terribly guilty even though it was not my fault.

 

[Fluffy]

Perhaps someone mentioned it already, but I highly recommend (INSIST, actually) you find a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist with expertise in ADULT autism to discuss your self-diagnosis.

In my own world, various doctors and mental health professionals without such experience diagnosed me with depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, ADHD, and even post-traumatic stress disorder over the years. Post-ASD-diagnosis, I realized that all of those conditions were symptoms of the underlying ASD making me wonder what the hell is the matter with me for 40 years (and the associated anxiety, need for control, and the shame underlying all of it).

I feel like this is so true. I have been seeing health professionals for my mental health for more than half of my life (and I am not all that old) and I have had a string of varying opinions and diagnosis after diagnosis. I have self harmed at times because the pain has been so bad, been on all sorts of drugs and really at times suffered badly. How is it that I can spend more than 15 years with various professionals and not one of them could see it. Yet as soon as I read a couple of the websites about traits/symptoms of females with Asperger's (which I understand is not complete or exhaustive), AND which I started out doing to prove I was NOT Aspie, I began to see memories from my past fall into place. Things that I did and felt as a child that absolutely pointed to me being a bit different. Things I do or feel today too. However, somehow all these people managed to miss these signs. It is puzzling that even my current psychologist has reached the point of acknowledging that I am medication sensitive, knows I am an obsessive researcher and no doubt other elements of my persona have come out during session that point towards a seemingly obvious conclusion and yet here I am; adrift from the comfort of diagnosis, second guessing myself at every turn and wondering if I am imagining it all. I know I am not though.

 

[Streetwise]

I have better pictures of my other yabby who passed away last week. He was much more extroverted, larger and have particularly nice claw colour for a common yabby (cherax destructor). I was away on holiday *shudder* and came home to find that the filter had somehow managed to clog (someone overfed him) while we were away and he was dead I feel a bit silly talking about it, but I was genuinely sad about him dying. I felt terribly guilty even though it was not my fault.

we had a budgerigar that drowned in an half an inch of water in a tall glass it was indescribable to not see him moving i always think why DIDNT i put the glass away he was so cute typical wonderful green and yellow he was never locked in the cage