Hello I am New Here!

[Longbow]

Hello everyone. I am new here. My nickname is Longbow and I am a single parent full time worker (Dad) who has a 12 year old son who has aspergers. He is having a difficult time making the transition to high school, Year 7. He lasted 2 weeks and did really well but the wheels fell off so to speak in week 3 and he hasnt been at school since. Trying to provide lots of support and see if we can some how get him slowly back to school but I am under no illusion how hard this will be. I am hoping to find any help or tips from those who have been there done that or share the stress with other like parents. Hopefully I might try and encourage my son to register and make on-line friends. Thank you. Warmest regards from Longbow.

 

[Brent]

Welcome

 

[Salmongirl17]

Hey, this sounds a lot like me! I started middle school last year at age 12, and I was pretty nervous, yet pretty confident. However, within the first weeks of it, I was getting horrific grades and hated all of my teachers.

My parents and I thought about pulling me out, and we had already started looking into some local private or cyber schools for me. I wanted to try the first few weeks though.

I ended up really enjoying middle school and brought my bad grades up to all A's, and am very excited about school, so eager about it that I now hate weekends.

Welcome

 

[Andygriffith3351]

I am switching to k12 online schooling you might want to consider that for your son

 

[Ereth]

Hello, Longbow!

If you haven't already done so, please meet with your son's teachers and talk about what everyone can do to help him out. What specific problems has he been having?

Welcome to AspiesCentral.

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

 

[Longbow]

Hello, Longbow!

If you haven't already done so, please meet with your son's teachers and talk about what everyone can do to help him out. What specific problems has he been having?

Welcome to AspiesCentral.

Hi Ereth,

I have spoken to all his teachers and the school is being very supportive. He is also seeing a psychologist. It would appear it was just the norm that he became overwhlemed with the transition and he also got glandular fever which certainly undermined him. He also has ringing in his ears and will have a day operation in two weeks to have grommetts placed to drain the trapped fluid and hopefully that will stop the ringing. He is on one tablet of melatonin at night which has fixed up his insomina. He is on 1.5mg of risperdal at night and 10mg of Lovan in the morning. He is only three weeks into the Lovan. Personally I think the dosages are wrong he is 6 foot 1 and weighs 85kg. He is not fat just medium lean solid if that makes sense. His behaviour though can be utterly shocking. So bad mannered yet he is being treated so caringly and so nice. He is really making it very stressful to keep helping him. We were having a great day today and now the day is ruined as a screw came out of his bike seat and he cracked it bug time and went off into a rage. He will say sorry an hour later but it leaves me absolutely drained. I am trying to get a thick skin but it is so damn hard. It was a guilt trip turning to the meds but pre meds he was just extremely anxious and too difficult to deal with. But if nothing improves in the next 2-3 months I think it will e time to maybe wean him off the meds and see what happens.

 

[Longbow]

I am switching to k12 online schooling you might want to consider that for your son

It is hard to do that here in Australia. But I was trying to research the possibilty. But I have to keep full time working so it makes it all extremely difficult.

 

[Longbow]

Hey, this sounds a lot like me! I started middle school last year at age 12, and I was pretty nervous, yet pretty confident. However, within the first weeks of it, I was getting horrific grades and hated all of my teachers.

My parents and I thought about pulling me out, and we had already started looking into some local private or cyber schools for me. I wanted to try the first few weeks though.

I ended up really enjoying middle school and brought my bad grades up to all A's, and am very excited about school, so eager about it that I now hate weekends.

Welcome

Well done. I wish my son was like that. He has meltdowns very easily. Just about anything will cause them. It is endless. Just when you think you have worked out one two others pop up. He is high average but just refuses to engage in doing school work. says he knows it all and school will not help him later in life. It is extremely hard to negoiate with him. I have tried evrything and nothing is working. He can be so good and then wham something will happen and he goes off.

 

[Longbow]

Welcome!!! I know there are other parents here, so I'm sure you'll be able to connect with them. I can understand your son's problem, as I experienced the same situation at about the same time in my life, albeit 42 years ago. Besides the AS, I have a nonverbal learning disorder and PTSD. If the understanding and resources for those with AS were available back then as they are now, things would have been much different. I would encourage you to explore what's available. If possible, would he benefit from a private school? Does his school offer resources for those with AS? These are just a few things to possibly consider.

Thanks. I hope so. I am at my wits end to be honest. I just feel ike letting him stay at home on his own. It would make life so much easier. I am taking leave from work but it makes it very difficult. I feel so sorry for him. I am learning to let his insults go in one ear and out the other but geez it is hard.

 

[Salmongirl17]

Well done. I wish my son was like that. He has meltdowns very easily. Just about anything will cause them. It is endless. Just when you think you have worked out one two others pop up. He is high average but just refuses to engage in doing school work. says he knows it all and school will not help him later in life. It is extremely hard to negoiate with him. I have tried evrything and nothing is working. He can be so good and then wham something will happen and he goes off.

That sounds a lot like me when I'm doing difficult homework. Just this evening I almost had a meltdown caused by a math problem.

 

[neuroillogic]

Hello and welcome! I am new here as well, but certainly not new to the affects of ASD. I read your post and all I could see was my little brother. He quit school at about that time, and my parents could never get him to go back. I quit school a couple times myself, but we also moved a lot, so every time we got to a new school after I'd already dropped out, I decided to at least give it a chance. The only time I found myself actually enjoying school was when it was in a class of 50 kids, with no more than 15 in a classroom. It was less overwhelming, I think, there was fewer to process and I was familiar enough with the limited amount of people around me to not feel uncomfortable around them constantly. I wish I could give you more advice than that, there are just so many factors when it comes to Aspergers and school, and I'm sure he's going through a lot of the same things I did. For example, I thought school was a useless way to learn, since everyone learned at different speeds (all of which seemed slower than myself) so learning something easily one day and then have to sit through a week of review was intolerable, and I often zoned out, causing me to miss any spatterings of new information. Sometimes that would snowball, and I would fall completely behind and have zero motivation to catch up. On the other hand, some things were really difficult for me. I had problems mixing up numbers and getting words confused, I had trouble remembering names and faces, and I couldn't read aloud or give class presentations without making a mockery of myself. I couldn't connect with other kids, and just being talked to by them made me want to cry at times. I got made fun of, for my interests, the clothes I wore, for being so quiet and smiling inappropriately or not at all. These are just some examples. I don't know if he's spoken to you about what he's going through, but I encourage you to try opening those doors, because I know talking them through and applying logic to confusing situations definitely helped me. It's also possible at that age that he doesn't recognize what is and isn't normal about how he's feeling, so helping him recognize that and realize where his strengths and weaknesses lie could also be beneficial. I was well over 20 when I learned how my mind worked and how it was different from other people's, and I feel like I would have been much better off if I had known sooner. I'm glad you're doing everything you can to support him! I know it can be difficult, but I believe communication and understanding can truly help, on both your parts, not just understanding about Aspergers but what's going on in his head specifically. Don't get discouraged! You have an entire community of us behind you.

 

[Longbow]

Thanks for your post! He often tells me he wishes he was normal so he could go to school. I know he feels so self conscious knowing he is different to the other kids. I remember once in primary school when he was being bullied he said those kids are lucky I am not a violent person. My son is built like a grown man and his core strength is very powerful. I was always worried if he punched one of thos ebullies he would seriously injure them or kill them but lucky as he said, it is not in his nature. He is a gentle gaint. I will continue to chat with him about things. I am enjoying his company each day especially when he stays calm for longer periods. I wish I didn't have to go to work as I would certainly just hang out with him all day long lol We went to a school meeting today to meet a co-ordinator and advisor to the Catholic Schools. They are being very supportive and we are not expecting miracles and dont expect him to getback to school at anytime in second term. Hopefully we can aim for third term or fourth. I am trying to come to terms with the fact he may never return and who knows it may well be a good thing for his well being. He is smart and whne he is much older he may return to study. Trying to stay upbeat. Things could always be worse.