Hello, I'm new!

[Ken]

So no support from my NT family and friends. I don't know a single person in my physical life that is autistic. I'm alone.

I'm so glad you are here and thank you for the comforting, kind words.

I found this forum in 2019. Finding it was one of those life dividing experiences. That is: a before and after lifeline. The difference between my life before the forum and my life after. I have learned so much about myself from this forum. It is a family - a very friendly, honest family. I really hope you experience the life lifting revelations I have. I hope this family can help diminish your loneliness.

 

[Ken]

I too cry very, very easily. Granted, I'm female which makes it more culturally acceptable but the reasons behind it, so I've been told, aren't normal and that no one can possibly comfort me if they don't even understand what I'm crying over. I usually cry with frustration, which is 90% of the my existence. I'm so sick of feeling always frustrated. So I cry out of sheer exhaustion. It's not that difficult to grasp. Yet, apparently, it is. I've been told only toddlers cry out in frustration.

My crying is mostly from empathy. I seem to feel everyone's pain and they don't even have to be family, or even human. I feel empathy for anything alive and lots of things that aren't. I feel pain seeing "things" like electronic devices, cars, etc. abused.

I also cry from happy empathy, where I feel another persons happiness. I think I cry from that more than anything. I know that is socially odd but I have decided that that is just "too bad so sad". This is who I am, how I'm made and who I'm meant to be. It's taken me almost 70 years to figure that out!

 

[Suzette]

My crying is mostly from empathy. I seem to feel everyone's pain and they don't even have to be family, or even human. I feel empathy for anything alive and lots of things that aren't. I feel pain seeing "things" like electronic devices, cars, etc. abused.

I also cry from happy empathy, where I feel another persons happiness. I think I cry from that more than anything. I know that is socially odd but I have decided that that is just "too bad so sad". This is who I am, how I'm made and who I'm meant to be. It's taken me almost 70 years to figure that out!

I just had a major epiphany! Thank you @Ken and @Danielle Sisco.

When I was younger I cried about everything. Pain, frustration, cuddly teddy bears, happy movie endings, the death of a bird, the failure of a class mate, just anything!
But after years of others conedemning my tears, I stopped. In fact, I stopped feeling much of anything but anger and frustration.
I think NTs saw my tears as immaturity. Some of my tears probably were, I was a kid!
But rather than "helping me grow" I think the criticsim had the opposite effect. My growth was stiffled.
Reading this back it seems silly and simplistic. But for me, it is as powerful a thought as learning I might be on the spectrum. Just wow!

 

[Danielle Sisco]

I just had a major epiphany! Thank you @Ken and @Danielle Sisco.

When I was younger I cried about everything. Pain, frustration, cuddly teddy bears, happy movie endings, the death of a bird, the failure of a class mate, just anything!
But after years of others conedemning my tears, I stopped. In fact, I stopped feeling much of anything but anger and frustration.

I just had one too. I'm not alone in that many, MANY things make me cry. I feel pain over inanimate objects I connected too, the state of the natural world, etc......

But I have sadly gotten so beaten down with the harassment to stop crying that now I feel like I only cry in frustration and anger. I can't cry for anything beautiful or powerful anymore. Only this, and lately I've just felt an overall numbing and it scares me. I'm glad I found this group. It's helping to keep me ME inside.

 

[Andrew206]

Welcome!